Divorce should never be an option for Christians based on Jesus’ teachings in Matthew 5, yet the divorce rate in the church (little-c) is a little higher than the national average (60 to 50 percent, last I looked). The number one reason for divorce in the United States, with laws defining “no-fault divorce”, is irreconcilable differences. In other words, arguments that can’t be resolved. Again, this should be a non-option for Christians based on Romans 12: “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought… Honor one another above yourselves… If possible, as much as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:3b,10b,18)
Reading Matthew 5 this morning, Jesus’ instruction on divorce is buried in the middle of a larger train of thought. If your Bible has headings, it might look something like this beginning in verse 21: Murder, Adultery, Divorce, Oaths, An Eye for an Eye, Love for Enemies. Since Jesus’ theme in these passages is less the action and more the heart consider this sequence: Anger, Lust, Unfaithfulness, Integrity, Turn the Other Cheek, Love Your Enemies.
What is your irreconcilable difference(s) with your spouse? What is the one (or more) thing that you two can never seem to resolve? How does that make you feel? (Come in, lay down on my couch) Angry? Do you use that as an excuse to be lustful? Remember that even lust is adultery and adultery is unfaithfulness to your marriage. Remember that you took an oath before God and your ‘I do’ means ‘I do’ just as your “yes be yes and your no be no”. Are you still angry at your spouse? Is there anything you haven’t let go of and forgiven? Turn the other cheek. Last, but certainly not least, if this is still too hard, love your enemy.