A good friend of mine got married last weekend. At his groom honoring, his best man showed a video slideshow of some of his favorite memories with this brother. Based on the pictures, the groom looked like a pretty fun guy.
Of course I already knew this- he was a worship leader.
I wasn’t in any of the pictures. The narcissist in me always feels insecure at times like these- doubting the depth and value of our friendship- but the reality was that I lived an hour and a half away. As I was watching his pictures- fooling around with mixed martial arts, out on the shooting range, cooking dinner with his buds- I was content to admit that that’s just not me. Does that make me less of a friend? Of course not! But the context of our friendship is different. While the friends in these pictures stood beside him on his wedding day, I was behind the scenes as his wedding coordinator. (I need to be reminded sometimes that I “have the gift of administration” and I fail badly when I try and be something I’m not)
There are different kinds of friends: the goof-offs, the memory-makers, the initiators, the deep all-night talkers; then there are the rocks, those friends who will always be there in any time and any circumstance. I’m embarrassed not to be the former, but I recognize the need for the latter.
When I got married, I told my wife that I was like a faithful old dog- she won’t be able to get rid of me, I’ll follow wherever she goes, and I smell and drool. I think I’m pretty boring; she tells me she was attracted to me because I’m interesting. My daughter thinks I’m funny. I think both are lying to make me feel better (just kidding, I just struggle to see myself that way).
So some of my best friends are worship leaders. I need those friends- the outgoing, the flamboyant, the risk-takers. At the same time they need me- the introvert, the faithful, the reliable.
Ah man my phone just deleted the big comment I was leaving. I'm usually the one that documents the fun. I'm behind the scenes and rarely in the pictures. It definitely takes all the different types of friends and I am mostly comfortable in my role. Good stuff Frank.
Being a guitar player, I'm usually right there with the worship leader; unlike my younger days when the focus was "look at me!", today I do everything I can to point at Christ. I don't jump around a lot on stage – a fair amount of time I sit and let my playing speak.
As to friendship style? Once made, for life. Faithful. There. We'll have wild moments – that's part of the ride – but the lasting stuff only happens over time.
Great post, administrator 😀
@Phil, I hate leaving comments with my phone- I feel your pain! I'm more comfortable behind the scenes too. When you say you're the one who documents the fun, are you the picture-taker? My wife and I did pictured for a couple of our friends' weddings last summer- too stressful IMHO. So we coordinated this one instead, lol!
@Rick, I can picture you with big hair and spandex jumping all over stage! Just kidding. I think guitar players have a unique personality too. Melancholic and reflective. I picture the singer-songwriter mold, like Dylan, et al.
I like what you said- the lasting stuff only happens over time. Unfortunately our lives are in such a rush we seldom take the time for those memories to build.
Thanks for commenting!
I would add that your friend was single in all those pics. Being married with children, though wonderful, creates a time crunch for other relationships. I happen to think you are an awesome friend. One whom I trust and respect deeply.
It is wonderful when a worship leader can lift your spirits to the throne and you can worship Jesus freely. Friendship comes with the job, and we can all be friends if we chose to be. I found you at Rick's list:
http://www.plannedpeasanthood.com/2013/07/saturday-shortcuts-8/
@Ivan, I hear you, but even before the wife and kids I was seldom the wild-and-crazy friend. I'm just too quiet by nature. (Which is why I married a wild and crazy wife!)
And thank you so much for commenting. Your friendship means a lot to me as well.
@Hazel, thanks for stopping by! You're always welcome, no matter how you get here, LOL! But I appreciate Rick for including me.
You brought up another important aspect that in my rush I overlooked in my post- we need friends that point us towards our savior. We need those "iron sharpens iron" relationships. Worship leaders do it in their unique way, I do it in mine, you do it in yours.