R12: Could you be ‘playing God’?

Frank

“Revenge is a dish best served cold.” In other words, don’t act in the heat of the moment. The Bible gives us similar instruction in Romans 12:17, “Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.” This is a passage easily taken out of context. At first blush, it looks as though it is instructing us to be people pleasers. But this sentence follows another in verse 17, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil.” And recall the context of the last three chapters- how do we respond to the evil aimed at us and the hurt caused?

“Be careful” can be literally translated as “think about” or “consider”. In other words, we need to be conscious of our motives. We need to think before we act. We must ask ourselves what is driving this desire to repay evil for evil, confront that motive, and give it up to God. We need to be careful.

But this is also a two-way street. The NASB translation of the second sentence in verse 17 reads, “Respect what is right in the sight of all men.” The lesson in Plato’s Protagoras is that “all things are true for him who believes it.” It is logically impossible to believe in something you know is false. The same is true for our behavior. If someone is acting out and causing harm, the sad truth is that is what he or she knows is right in their eyes. In this do-anything-to-get-ahead world, most people think it perfectly ok to lie, cheat, or steal their way to the top. They may have lines they will not cross, but their morals are defined by the world. We need to recognize this, and therefore not be surprised when someone runs us over as they are speeding to the front of the line.

To drive the point home, verse 17 is followed up with, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” This drives a stake through the heart of the “doormat Christian” mentality. If it is possible. It may not be possible and it may not be right. If the evil aimed at us is illegal, or physically abusive, it is not possible. This verse is not encouraging us to be doormats. At the same time it also reads, “as far as it depends on you…” Much of the hurt caused us has nothing to do with us. We don’t encourage it, we don’t invite it. We are literally victims and that hurt does not depend on us.

If this is hard to swallow, let me paraphrase these two verses: “Don’t be the one to start trouble. Work for peace in your relationships.” Don’t start it.

Don’t finish it either. Verses 19-20 instruct us to not seek revenge. Why? Don’t we cheer for the hero of the story that does everything possible to make sure the bad guys get what’s coming to them? Sure we do. But most of us aren’t movie stars or action heroes. And when we seek revenge, when we desire payback, we are telling God that we don’t trust his justice. “It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord.” Vengeance, meting out justice, is God’s job. It is hard to let things go trusting in God’s judgement. We may not see justice in this life, so we are robbed of that sense of closure. So it requires faith to let God do what He does. When we seek revenge or pay someone back for what they’ve done to us, we are putting ourselves ahead of God, in His place. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

Finally, we have to remember Romans 12 is about personal relationships. We’re not talking about war or crime in these cases. The focus is on what we can do to be like Christ in all our relationships, good and bad.

Think: Why does God prohibit personal retaliation or revenge?
Reflect: What happens when we pay back evil for evil? When have you done that? What were the results?
Understand: How can you afford to let “people off the hook”? What is God’s role? His promise?
Surrender: Ask God to help you turn over “justice” to Him. Pray this week, fully releasing any desire for “payback” and turn the person who has wronged you and all outcomes over to God.
Take Action: Stop saying, thinking, or hoping bad things about your enemy. Don’t let these words come out of your mouth and refuse to let them linger when they come into your mind.
Motivation: Consider memorizing Romans 12:19-21. Read it or say it aloud every time you’re tempted to let vengeful thoughts linger or you catch yourself saying something negative about a person.
Encourage Someone: Think of someone at church, work, or in the neighborhood who has been treated even more unfairly or harshly than you. Ask God to show you a tangible way to provide support to them- a note, a gift, a dinner, or a listening ear.

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

R12: Could you be ‘playing God’?

Frank

“Revenge is a dish best served cold.” In other words, don’t act in the heat of the moment. The Bible gives us similar instruction in Romans 12:17, “Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.” This is a passage easily taken out of context. At first blush, it looks as though it is instructing us to be people pleasers. But this sentence follows another in verse 17, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil.” And recall the context of the last three chapters- how do we respond to the evil aimed at us and the hurt caused?

“Be careful” can be literally translated as “think about” or “consider”. In other words, we need to be conscious of our motives. We need to think before we act. We must ask ourselves what is driving this desire to repay evil for evil, confront that motive, and give it up to God. We need to be careful.

But this is also a two-way street. The NASB translation of the second sentence in verse 17 reads, “Respect what is right in the sight of all men.” The lesson in Plato’s Protagoras is that “all things are true for him who believes it.” It is logically impossible to believe in something you know is false. The same is true for our behavior. If someone is acting out and causing harm, the sad truth is that is what he or she knows is right in their eyes. In this do-anything-to-get-ahead world, most people think it perfectly ok to lie, cheat, or steal their way to the top. They may have lines they will not cross, but their morals are defined by the world. We need to recognize this, and therefore not be surprised when someone runs us over as they are speeding to the front of the line.

To drive the point home, verse 17 is followed up with, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” This drives a stake through the heart of the “doormat Christian” mentality. If it is possible. It may not be possible and it may not be right. If the evil aimed at us is illegal, or physically abusive, it is not possible. This verse is not encouraging us to be doormats. At the same time it also reads, “as far as it depends on you…” Much of the hurt caused us has nothing to do with us. We don’t encourage it, we don’t invite it. We are literally victims and that hurt does not depend on us.

If this is hard to swallow, let me paraphrase these two verses: “Don’t be the one to start trouble. Work for peace in your relationships.” Don’t start it.

Don’t finish it either. Verses 19-20 instruct us to not seek revenge. Why? Don’t we cheer for the hero of the story that does everything possible to make sure the bad guys get what’s coming to them? Sure we do. But most of us aren’t movie stars or action heroes. And when we seek revenge, when we desire payback, we are telling God that we don’t trust his justice. “It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord.” Vengeance, meting out justice, is God’s job. It is hard to let things go trusting in God’s judgement. We may not see justice in this life, so we are robbed of that sense of closure. So it requires faith to let God do what He does. When we seek revenge or pay someone back for what they’ve done to us, we are putting ourselves ahead of God, in His place. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

Finally, we have to remember Romans 12 is about personal relationships. We’re not talking about war or crime in these cases. The focus is on what we can do to be like Christ in all our relationships, good and bad.

Think: Why does God prohibit personal retaliation or revenge?
Reflect: What happens when we pay back evil for evil? When have you done that? What were the results?
Understand: How can you afford to let “people off the hook”? What is God’s role? His promise?
Surrender: Ask God to help you turn over “justice” to Him. Pray this week, fully releasing any desire for “payback” and turn the person who has wronged you and all outcomes over to God.
Take Action: Stop saying, thinking, or hoping bad things about your enemy. Don’t let these words come out of your mouth and refuse to let them linger when they come into your mind.
Motivation: Consider memorizing Romans 12:19-21. Read it or say it aloud every time you’re tempted to let vengeful thoughts linger or you catch yourself saying something negative about a person.
Encourage Someone: Think of someone at church, work, or in the neighborhood who has been treated even more unfairly or harshly than you. Ask God to show you a tangible way to provide support to them- a note, a gift, a dinner, or a listening ear.

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

R12:Do you know when you look most like Jesus?

Frank

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” (Romans 12:14) Yesterday we defined “blessing” as desiring God’s best for someone. When it comes to those who have hurt us, we cannot have that desire without first making a decision to forgive. That, by itself, does not fully cleanse our hearts of bitterness, but it begins the process. You may still have negative feelings and attitudes, you are allowed to still hurt, but you decide not to let those feelings rule over you.

So you’ve decided to forgive and you’re begrudgingly desiring God’s best for this person (by the way, the best way to get to this point is through prayer, prayer, and more prayer), now what? Romans 12 continues, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.” (v 15-16) I’ve always taken these verses as a stand-alone description of our relationships in general, but in context they are commands on how to relate to those who have hurt us.

It’s one thing to half-heartedly pray for God’s blessings in someone’s life. It an entirely different attitude to genuinely be happy when those blessings come to fruition. This continues the “scrubbing” process in our souls. Of course this is hard and is likely impossible without the Holy Spirit intervening on our behalf, but we are still commanded to have this attitude.

You’ve likely been here before: you are passed over for a promotion by someone you do not like; there is a promotion party that everyone is invited to; you don’t go. Romans 12:15 commands us to go, put a smile on our face, and sincerely wish the best for this person. How much easier is it to stay behind in your cubicle and allow your hurt to stew.

Chip Ingram gives other examples in his book that better describe this not from an individual disciple perspective, but from the perspective of the corporate church as a whole. Think of the reputation Christians, or rather our churches, have: judgemental, only wanting our money, corrupt and/or filled with cronyism, full of double-standards, hypocritical, lacking grace, and so on, and so on. Think about the real-life spiritual warfare that is going on outside our churches walls: homosexuality, single parenthood, teenage pregnancy, addiction, and poverty. Are rejoicing with those who rejoice and mourning with those who are mourning in these circumstances? More, are you “willing to associate with” these people? If not, your attitude is not “the same as that of Christ Jesus, who” lived his life among the tax collectors and prostitutes and forgave the very ones who beat, insulted, and ultimately killed him. “By this all men will know you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35)

Bringing this back home, where if you haven’t faced this situation yet, you will someday: My family is presently suffering the inevitable loss of the family matriarch. On Sunday family from all over came to her house to pay their last respects, share memories and tears, and try to have closure. But beneath the surface ran a current of resentment, competitiveness, and pride. Behind every “how are you doing?” was an unspoken “you don’t deserve your share of the inheritance.” Behind every “I’m glad you were here for her” was the question, “why didn’t you ever call?” I’ve been through this before, and I’ll likely go through it again. It is sad that we let petty grievances prevent us from “mourning with those who mourn.” But this is a real battle in a real situation.

Regardless of any attitude or feeling, when we, as disciples of Christ, enter into those circumstances, we must obey Paul’s command. If we do, we show the real Jesus to those who may not know him or don’t know him well enough. And “all men will know…” to the Glory of the Father.

Think: What in this [post] spoke to you?
Reflect: What aspect of this teaching from Romans 12 was hardest for you to accept? Why?
Understand: What would it look like in your situation to rejoice (or weep) with the very one who treated you wrongly?
Surrender: Ask God to show you how he wants you to apply this truth in your life in view of your specific circumstances.
Take Action: Choose from the list of actions on events on pages 234 and 235 and bless you enemies this week. [These are life-events such as marriage, the birth of a baby, the recovery from an illness, etc on the rejoicing side, and death, illness, troubles at home, etc on the mourning side of Romans 12:15]
Motivation: Download the audio message How to Overcome the Evil Aimed at You at r12 online [click the r12 button to the right, select the Supernaturally tab and find this message under Free Resources]
Encourage Someone: Think of someone who has been betrayed or wounded and share r12 with them like [was done with Chip in the book].

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

R12:Do you know when you look most like Jesus?

Frank

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” (Romans 12:14) Yesterday we defined “blessing” as desiring God’s best for someone. When it comes to those who have hurt us, we cannot have that desire without first making a decision to forgive. That, by itself, does not fully cleanse our hearts of bitterness, but it begins the process. You may still have negative feelings and attitudes, you are allowed to still hurt, but you decide not to let those feelings rule over you.

So you’ve decided to forgive and you’re begrudgingly desiring God’s best for this person (by the way, the best way to get to this point is through prayer, prayer, and more prayer), now what? Romans 12 continues, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.” (v 15-16) I’ve always taken these verses as a stand-alone description of our relationships in general, but in context they are commands on how to relate to those who have hurt us.

It’s one thing to half-heartedly pray for God’s blessings in someone’s life. It an entirely different attitude to genuinely be happy when those blessings come to fruition. This continues the “scrubbing” process in our souls. Of course this is hard and is likely impossible without the Holy Spirit intervening on our behalf, but we are still commanded to have this attitude.

You’ve likely been here before: you are passed over for a promotion by someone you do not like; there is a promotion party that everyone is invited to; you don’t go. Romans 12:15 commands us to go, put a smile on our face, and sincerely wish the best for this person. How much easier is it to stay behind in your cubicle and allow your hurt to stew.

Chip Ingram gives other examples in his book that better describe this not from an individual disciple perspective, but from the perspective of the corporate church as a whole. Think of the reputation Christians, or rather our churches, have: judgemental, only wanting our money, corrupt and/or filled with cronyism, full of double-standards, hypocritical, lacking grace, and so on, and so on. Think about the real-life spiritual warfare that is going on outside our churches walls: homosexuality, single parenthood, teenage pregnancy, addiction, and poverty. Are rejoicing with those who rejoice and mourning with those who are mourning in these circumstances? More, are you “willing to associate with” these people? If not, your attitude is not “the same as that of Christ Jesus, who” lived his life among the tax collectors and prostitutes and forgave the very ones who beat, insulted, and ultimately killed him. “By this all men will know you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35)

Bringing this back home, where if you haven’t faced this situation yet, you will someday: My family is presently suffering the inevitable loss of the family matriarch. On Sunday family from all over came to her house to pay their last respects, share memories and tears, and try to have closure. But beneath the surface ran a current of resentment, competitiveness, and pride. Behind every “how are you doing?” was an unspoken “you don’t deserve your share of the inheritance.” Behind every “I’m glad you were here for her” was the question, “why didn’t you ever call?” I’ve been through this before, and I’ll likely go through it again. It is sad that we let petty grievances prevent us from “mourning with those who mourn.” But this is a real battle in a real situation.

Regardless of any attitude or feeling, when we, as disciples of Christ, enter into those circumstances, we must obey Paul’s command. If we do, we show the real Jesus to those who may not know him or don’t know him well enough. And “all men will know…” to the Glory of the Father.

Think: What in this [post] spoke to you?
Reflect: What aspect of this teaching from Romans 12 was hardest for you to accept? Why?
Understand: What would it look like in your situation to rejoice (or weep) with the very one who treated you wrongly?
Surrender: Ask God to show you how he wants you to apply this truth in your life in view of your specific circumstances.
Take Action: Choose from the list of actions on events on pages 234 and 235 and bless you enemies this week. [These are life-events such as marriage, the birth of a baby, the recovery from an illness, etc on the rejoicing side, and death, illness, troubles at home, etc on the mourning side of Romans 12:15]
Motivation: Download the audio message How to Overcome the Evil Aimed at You at r12 online [click the r12 button to the right, select the Supernaturally tab and find this message under Free Resources]
Encourage Someone: Think of someone who has been betrayed or wounded and share r12 with them like [was done with Chip in the book].

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

R12: Will you let Christ heal you?

Frank

My five year-old son has been asking for the last few days to go to the car wash. An odd request, but you never know what’s going to come out of his mouth. I’d tell him no and he’d predictably fuss. At first I was stumped trying to figure out why it was such a big deal to him, and then he told me, “there’s bird poop on the window! My sister’s window doesn’t have any poop!” Ahhh, it all made perfect sense, bird poop. What’s funny, is that to him all he wants is a clean window. He doesn’t care about the poop, and he holds nothing against the bird who was responsible. Conversely, how many times have I had a perfect-hit, right in my line of sight on my windshield, and I’ve responded by saying, “stupid bird!”?

Allow me to stretch an analogy to its breaking point. Bitterness, resentment and hatred are like bird poop on our soul. We should only care about cleaning it off, but we are more concerned about who put it there to begin with. “Stupid bird” becomes “I hate…” “I can’t believe…” “I’d never…” And our soul continues to be stained. Cursing the bird does not clean the windshield.

So how do we cleanse our hearts of these feelings, so often justified by the hurt caused to us? Romans 12:14 reads, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” Is that command, yes I said “command”, challenging to you? Do you take it personal? It should, and you should, because it’s hard, it’s unnatural, in fact I’d go so far as to say it’s impossible.

We say “bless you” so casually when someone sneezes. But what does it mean to “bless”? Are we following Paul’s command in this verse when, while we are talking about someone we bite are tongue and say, “God bless ’em” instead of saying what’s really on our mind? How do we bless those who hurt us?

Blessing is the opposite of cursing, so instead of wishing harm, you desire God’s best for that person. Desire God’s best for those who hurt me? That’s why I say it is impossible. It can only be done through the intervention of the Holy Spirit. But before we can get to actually desiring God’s best for this person, we need to want it for them first. And that is a personal decision that begins the process of scrubbing that stain off your soul.

This all begins with forgiveness. We cannot bless until we first forgive. Again, that sounds hard, but we’ve warped the meaning of the word. We say things like “forgive and forget” or even tell someone we forgive them when we don’t mean it in our hearts. We also confuse forgiveness with justice- the victim of a crime may forgive her perpetrator, but the courts may still mete out justice. With God it is the same, we may forgive, but it is God alone who ensures that justice is served. Forgiveness is the decision to “let it go” and not allow your feelings of hurt to leave a stain on your soul. You can still hurt, you can still desire justice, but you’ve made a decision to no longer allow that hurt to control you. Let me say that again, you’ve made a decision to no longer allow that hurt to control you. Personally, this sounds exactly like what we need, to stop allowing the hurt to control us. Addiction, relationships, depression are so often motivated by the hurt. We give power to that hurt instead of allowing God control and stripping the hurt of any power it may have over us.

This is so important that immediately after Jesus equates hate with murder he goes on to say, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23-24) Think about the implications of this for a moment. Your gift to God, whatever you are doing to glorify His Name, must be put aside until you are reconciled with the one(s) who has hurt you and/or the one(s) you have hurt. The stain on our soul, the power we foolishly allow our hurt to have over us, prevents us from giving our all to God.

Let it go. Forgive. Be reconciled. Begin to scrub off that poop.

Think: What does it mean to bless your enemy in [Romans 12:14]?
Reflect: Why is forgiveness the first step in blessing the one who has hurt you?
Understand: What stage of forgiveness are you in? The [decision], the process, the completion?
Surrender: What is the most difficult aspect of forgiving the one who has or is aiming evil at you? Ask God to remove any bitterness and give you the strength to begin the forgiveness journey.
Take Action: Choose today to forgive the person if you have not already done so. Write it down in your Bible with today’s date.
Motivation: Jot down Matthew 5:43-48 on a 3×5 card or half sheet of paper. Read over it prayerfully each day for the next week.
Encourage Someone: Pray today for the one who is your enemy. Choose to obey God whether you feel like it or not.

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

R12: Will you let Christ heal you?

Frank

My five year-old son has been asking for the last few days to go to the car wash. An odd request, but you never know what’s going to come out of his mouth. I’d tell him no and he’d predictably fuss. At first I was stumped trying to figure out why it was such a big deal to him, and then he told me, “there’s bird poop on the window! My sister’s window doesn’t have any poop!” Ahhh, it all made perfect sense, bird poop. What’s funny, is that to him all he wants is a clean window. He doesn’t care about the poop, and he holds nothing against the bird who was responsible. Conversely, how many times have I had a perfect-hit, right in my line of sight on my windshield, and I’ve responded by saying, “stupid bird!”?

Allow me to stretch an analogy to its breaking point. Bitterness, resentment and hatred are like bird poop on our soul. We should only care about cleaning it off, but we are more concerned about who put it there to begin with. “Stupid bird” becomes “I hate…” “I can’t believe…” “I’d never…” And our soul continues to be stained. Cursing the bird does not clean the windshield.

So how do we cleanse our hearts of these feelings, so often justified by the hurt caused to us? Romans 12:14 reads, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” Is that command, yes I said “command”, challenging to you? Do you take it personal? It should, and you should, because it’s hard, it’s unnatural, in fact I’d go so far as to say it’s impossible.

We say “bless you” so casually when someone sneezes. But what does it mean to “bless”? Are we following Paul’s command in this verse when, while we are talking about someone we bite are tongue and say, “God bless ’em” instead of saying what’s really on our mind? How do we bless those who hurt us?

Blessing is the opposite of cursing, so instead of wishing harm, you desire God’s best for that person. Desire God’s best for those who hurt me? That’s why I say it is impossible. It can only be done through the intervention of the Holy Spirit. But before we can get to actually desiring God’s best for this person, we need to want it for them first. And that is a personal decision that begins the process of scrubbing that stain off your soul.

This all begins with forgiveness. We cannot bless until we first forgive. Again, that sounds hard, but we’ve warped the meaning of the word. We say things like “forgive and forget” or even tell someone we forgive them when we don’t mean it in our hearts. We also confuse forgiveness with justice- the victim of a crime may forgive her perpetrator, but the courts may still mete out justice. With God it is the same, we may forgive, but it is God alone who ensures that justice is served. Forgiveness is the decision to “let it go” and not allow your feelings of hurt to leave a stain on your soul. You can still hurt, you can still desire justice, but you’ve made a decision to no longer allow that hurt to control you. Let me say that again, you’ve made a decision to no longer allow that hurt to control you. Personally, this sounds exactly like what we need, to stop allowing the hurt to control us. Addiction, relationships, depression are so often motivated by the hurt. We give power to that hurt instead of allowing God control and stripping the hurt of any power it may have over us.

This is so important that immediately after Jesus equates hate with murder he goes on to say, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23-24) Think about the implications of this for a moment. Your gift to God, whatever you are doing to glorify His Name, must be put aside until you are reconciled with the one(s) who has hurt you and/or the one(s) you have hurt. The stain on our soul, the power we foolishly allow our hurt to have over us, prevents us from giving our all to God.

Let it go. Forgive. Be reconciled. Begin to scrub off that poop.

Think: What does it mean to bless your enemy in [Romans 12:14]?
Reflect: Why is forgiveness the first step in blessing the one who has hurt you?
Understand: What stage of forgiveness are you in? The [decision], the process, the completion?
Surrender: What is the most difficult aspect of forgiving the one who has or is aiming evil at you? Ask God to remove any bitterness and give you the strength to begin the forgiveness journey.
Take Action: Choose today to forgive the person if you have not already done so. Write it down in your Bible with today’s date.
Motivation: Jot down Matthew 5:43-48 on a 3×5 card or half sheet of paper. Read over it prayerfully each day for the next week.
Encourage Someone: Pray today for the one who is your enemy. Choose to obey God whether you feel like it or not.

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

R12: Who has hurt you the most?

Frank

I was driving down I-25 to find housing in Boulder, Colorado, listening to my favorite radio station when the music stopped. I didn’t have the patience to wait for a news break, so I switched stations. No music. Seek- still no music. It was then I decided that maybe I should be listening to what was going on. It was April 20, 1999, the day of the Columbine Shooting in Littleton where two students, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, killed 13 and injured 21 before taking their own lives. Eric and Dylan were social outcasts and popularized the “Trenchcoat Mafia”, though they were not members themselves. I didn’t know any of the victims personally, though many in my campus ministry were Columbine graduates.

“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.” (Matthew 5:21-22)

It’s hard to read, but I recommend reviewing the account of the murders. There the hatred radiates from the details- the callousness of their attitudes, and their mocking indifference towards the lives of the other students. Maybe it was hard to read it because I just saw the season finale of Grey’s Anatomy, which mirrors the events but in a different context. In both cases, fact and fiction, the shooters perceived themselves as victims of circumstance and failed to take responsibility for their actions, taking their lives without having to face any consequence.

“Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” (Hebrews 12:14-15)

Later that summer, I was spending time with a couple of my best friends from growing up, trying to rationalize the events at Columbine High School. I cannot understand the disregard towards the lives of others. Everything has been blamed from video games to the music they listened to to the movies they watched. The truth is, they had roots of bitterness so deep in their hearts it led to murder. As my friends and I were looking back, I made the flip comment, “if anyone at our school would’ve done something like that, it would’ve been me.” I was the frequent target of ridicule, was a straight-A student, a band and drama geek, and even participated in just about every sport imaginable. I never really fit into any one crowd and for a while even surrounded myself with the “goth crowd” who wore black dusters, subscribed to martial arts magazines, and knew every line from Monty Python’s Flying Circus. I was part of the trenchcoat mafia a half-decade before that term meant anything.

So why didn’t I, nor any of my other outcast fans, ever stoop to the same level as Eric and Dylan? Personally, I never let the hate I felt towards others consume me. I never let the bitterness I felt take root. We all will be hurt by others. Parents, friends, even strangers. Things will not go the way we think they should and we have a choice of either letting our disappointment turn into a bitter seed that takes root in our hearts or to let it go. The bitter root can bear many different fruits, though none of them “good”- hatred and murder, walking away from long-held friendships, turning back from family and in some cases, even God. Or we can learn to supernaturally respond to evil and overcome the evil aimed at you.

Romans 12:14-21 gives us the tools to do this, but I want to start by emphasizing the last verse, “do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good.” Think about how you have been hurt and by whom. Dig out the bitter root so that it can no longer grow. Ask God to help you overcome the evil that exists in every one of us. We all hurt, both the verb and the feeling. God knows this, He understands this. And he’s given us the means to overcome.

Think: What person came to mind when asked, “who has hurt you the most?”
Reflect: What emotions followed when this person came to mind?
Understand: In what ways have you sought to resolve this wound in the past? What has been helpful, or not helpful?
Surrender: Ask God to help you be willing to follow His commands in Romans 12:14-21 concerning this person.
Take Action: Identify one trusted friend you can share this old wound with and ask them to walk with you. As you do this, you will learn how to bless your enemies and it will free your soul.
Motivation: Watch the fourteen-minute video message “How to Overcome the Evil Aimed at You” at r12 online [follow the r12 button to the right, go to the tab labeled “Supernaturally”] to get into greater depth on this passage.
Encourage Someone: Offer to listen to someone who has been deeply wounded. Gently introduce Romans 12:14-21 to them.

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

R12: Who has hurt you the most?

Frank

I was driving down I-25 to find housing in Boulder, Colorado, listening to my favorite radio station when the music stopped. I didn’t have the patience to wait for a news break, so I switched stations. No music. Seek- still no music. It was then I decided that maybe I should be listening to what was going on. It was April 20, 1999, the day of the Columbine Shooting in Littleton where two students, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, killed 13 and injured 21 before taking their own lives. Eric and Dylan were social outcasts and popularized the “Trenchcoat Mafia”, though they were not members themselves. I didn’t know any of the victims personally, though many in my campus ministry were Columbine graduates.

“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.” (Matthew 5:21-22)

It’s hard to read, but I recommend reviewing the account of the murders. There the hatred radiates from the details- the callousness of their attitudes, and their mocking indifference towards the lives of the other students. Maybe it was hard to read it because I just saw the season finale of Grey’s Anatomy, which mirrors the events but in a different context. In both cases, fact and fiction, the shooters perceived themselves as victims of circumstance and failed to take responsibility for their actions, taking their lives without having to face any consequence.

“Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” (Hebrews 12:14-15)

Later that summer, I was spending time with a couple of my best friends from growing up, trying to rationalize the events at Columbine High School. I cannot understand the disregard towards the lives of others. Everything has been blamed from video games to the music they listened to to the movies they watched. The truth is, they had roots of bitterness so deep in their hearts it led to murder. As my friends and I were looking back, I made the flip comment, “if anyone at our school would’ve done something like that, it would’ve been me.” I was the frequent target of ridicule, was a straight-A student, a band and drama geek, and even participated in just about every sport imaginable. I never really fit into any one crowd and for a while even surrounded myself with the “goth crowd” who wore black dusters, subscribed to martial arts magazines, and knew every line from Monty Python’s Flying Circus. I was part of the trenchcoat mafia a half-decade before that term meant anything.

So why didn’t I, nor any of my other outcast fans, ever stoop to the same level as Eric and Dylan? Personally, I never let the hate I felt towards others consume me. I never let the bitterness I felt take root. We all will be hurt by others. Parents, friends, even strangers. Things will not go the way we think they should and we have a choice of either letting our disappointment turn into a bitter seed that takes root in our hearts or to let it go. The bitter root can bear many different fruits, though none of them “good”- hatred and murder, walking away from long-held friendships, turning back from family and in some cases, even God. Or we can learn to supernaturally respond to evil and overcome the evil aimed at you.

Romans 12:14-21 gives us the tools to do this, but I want to start by emphasizing the last verse, “do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good.” Think about how you have been hurt and by whom. Dig out the bitter root so that it can no longer grow. Ask God to help you overcome the evil that exists in every one of us. We all hurt, both the verb and the feeling. God knows this, He understands this. And he’s given us the means to overcome.

Think: What person came to mind when asked, “who has hurt you the most?”
Reflect: What emotions followed when this person came to mind?
Understand: In what ways have you sought to resolve this wound in the past? What has been helpful, or not helpful?
Surrender: Ask God to help you be willing to follow His commands in Romans 12:14-21 concerning this person.
Take Action: Identify one trusted friend you can share this old wound with and ask them to walk with you. As you do this, you will learn how to bless your enemies and it will free your soul.
Motivation: Watch the fourteen-minute video message “How to Overcome the Evil Aimed at You” at r12 online [follow the r12 button to the right, go to the tab labeled “Supernaturally”] to get into greater depth on this passage.
Encourage Someone: Offer to listen to someone who has been deeply wounded. Gently introduce Romans 12:14-21 to them.

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

R12: Goin’ Retro

Frank

I’m going to take a hiatus the remainder of the week from the R12 series as we head into the home stretch of the last relationship: supernaturally responding to evil with good. I want to make sure I don’t miss a beat falling behind in my reading so we can have a full M-F discussion.

In the meantime, by God’s grace and a bit of serendipity, Living on the Edge just began a new message series based on R12, looking at the same principles from an Old Testament perspective. I haven’t heard this series yet, so I’m greatly looking forward to it myself. I highly encourage you to listen to it in lieu of, or as a compliment to, this study.

For more from Chip himself, go here.

R12: Goin’ Retro

Frank

I’m going to take a hiatus the remainder of the week from the R12 series as we head into the home stretch of the last relationship: supernaturally responding to evil with good. I want to make sure I don’t miss a beat falling behind in my reading so we can have a full M-F discussion.

In the meantime, by God’s grace and a bit of serendipity, Living on the Edge just began a new message series based on R12, looking at the same principles from an Old Testament perspective. I haven’t heard this series yet, so I’m greatly looking forward to it myself. I highly encourage you to listen to it in lieu of, or as a compliment to, this study.

For more from Chip himself, go here.