R12: Where’s your focus

Frank

(no blog-carnival for me this week, but I encourage you to check out this week’s numerous entries on Grace)

Tonight is the penultimate episode of Lost. I’ve been hooked from day one and I cannot wait to see how it all comes together. I’m not hung up on the theories, though I did go through that phase. I am more interested in the human drama that is playing out, relying on eternal themes of community and redemption.

Since the second season or so, I’ve been following Entertainment Weekly’s Doc Jensen as he speculates on theories, provides background on philosophies and literature name-dropped on the show, and recaps the latest episodes. Over the weekend he posted his thoughts on community with respect to the “live together, die alone” mantra of Lost. Doc postulates that the assumed puppeteer of the show, Jacob, has been trying for who knows how many centuries to figure out how to break the cycle of “they come, they destroy, they kill”. Doc figures that previous attempts to raise up a “candidate” failed because Jacob was working out the means by trial and error, and it wasn’t until after the Others when Oceanic 815 crashed, that he concluded redemption could only be found through sacrifice (Doc argues Jacob deliberately allowed himself to be killed) and community.

I could not shake this idea as I read the most recent chapter of R12: The Book. We’ve been talking about “authentic community” defined as “when the real you, meets real needs, for the right reason, the right way.” This fourth relationship of Romans 12, Serving in Love, concludes with defining the right way.

I think what makes Lost so compelling is how it touches on themes that speak to our very souls. It is not explicitly Christian and I think it intentionally weaves Buddhism, Judeo-Christianity, animism, and numerous philosophies because each are rooted in our innate desire for spiritual purpose. So you could think of Lost as a six season-long, Matrix-meets-Gulliver’s Travels-meets-Gilligan’s Island. Lost resonates with our soul’s desire to belong and have purpose.

Authentic Christian community satisfies this desire, but it needs to happen the right way. Romans 12:12-13 reads, “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” Paul’s literary style in Romans 12 changes from a narrative to bullet-points beginning in verse 9, which is where we begin our study on authentic community. Each bullet then carries its own weight. Be joyful in hope. Happiness is dependent on what is happening but joy is rooted in the eternal hope we have in Jesus. Be patient in affliction. Persevere through the tough times because you have this hope. Be faithful in prayer. Joy, hope, patience, perseverance can only come if we are turning our hearts to God in prayer. This is an upward focus, taking focus off of ourselves. Our selfishness wants to be happy in the moment, complain when times are tough, and rely on our own strength to push through. The first five seasons of Lost have shown us the futility in that thinking. Share with God’s people who are in need. Give sacrificially. Love unconditionally. Practice hospitality. Literally translated, this means to pursue strangers. Don’t just love those who love back, “even the pagans do that” (Matthew 5:47) extend your service to all in need. This is an outward focus. Again, the focus has to remain off of us.

Community. Sacrifice. Eternal themes. Spiritual needs. As Christians, we can choose to “live together, or die alone.” I pray that through authentic community, we won’t be Lost.

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

R12: Where’s your focus

Frank

(no blog-carnival for me this week, but I encourage you to check out this week’s numerous entries on Grace)

Tonight is the penultimate episode of Lost. I’ve been hooked from day one and I cannot wait to see how it all comes together. I’m not hung up on the theories, though I did go through that phase. I am more interested in the human drama that is playing out, relying on eternal themes of community and redemption.

Since the second season or so, I’ve been following Entertainment Weekly’s Doc Jensen as he speculates on theories, provides background on philosophies and literature name-dropped on the show, and recaps the latest episodes. Over the weekend he posted his thoughts on community with respect to the “live together, die alone” mantra of Lost. Doc postulates that the assumed puppeteer of the show, Jacob, has been trying for who knows how many centuries to figure out how to break the cycle of “they come, they destroy, they kill”. Doc figures that previous attempts to raise up a “candidate” failed because Jacob was working out the means by trial and error, and it wasn’t until after the Others when Oceanic 815 crashed, that he concluded redemption could only be found through sacrifice (Doc argues Jacob deliberately allowed himself to be killed) and community.

I could not shake this idea as I read the most recent chapter of R12: The Book. We’ve been talking about “authentic community” defined as “when the real you, meets real needs, for the right reason, the right way.” This fourth relationship of Romans 12, Serving in Love, concludes with defining the right way.

I think what makes Lost so compelling is how it touches on themes that speak to our very souls. It is not explicitly Christian and I think it intentionally weaves Buddhism, Judeo-Christianity, animism, and numerous philosophies because each are rooted in our innate desire for spiritual purpose. So you could think of Lost as a six season-long, Matrix-meets-Gulliver’s Travels-meets-Gilligan’s Island. Lost resonates with our soul’s desire to belong and have purpose.

Authentic Christian community satisfies this desire, but it needs to happen the right way. Romans 12:12-13 reads, “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” Paul’s literary style in Romans 12 changes from a narrative to bullet-points beginning in verse 9, which is where we begin our study on authentic community. Each bullet then carries its own weight. Be joyful in hope. Happiness is dependent on what is happening but joy is rooted in the eternal hope we have in Jesus. Be patient in affliction. Persevere through the tough times because you have this hope. Be faithful in prayer. Joy, hope, patience, perseverance can only come if we are turning our hearts to God in prayer. This is an upward focus, taking focus off of ourselves. Our selfishness wants to be happy in the moment, complain when times are tough, and rely on our own strength to push through. The first five seasons of Lost have shown us the futility in that thinking. Share with God’s people who are in need. Give sacrificially. Love unconditionally. Practice hospitality. Literally translated, this means to pursue strangers. Don’t just love those who love back, “even the pagans do that” (Matthew 5:47) extend your service to all in need. This is an outward focus. Again, the focus has to remain off of us.

Community. Sacrifice. Eternal themes. Spiritual needs. As Christians, we can choose to “live together, or die alone.” I pray that through authentic community, we won’t be Lost.

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

Move over Carrie Prejean

Frank

I apologize for diverging from our regularly scheduled (well, scheduled anyway) study of Living on the Edge to catch up on some news, but I couldn’t avoid this subject on the radio during my drive home and I need to vent. Last night, Rima Fakih won the Miss USA pageant, becoming the first Arab-American to win the pageant. During her Q&A, she was asked about the divisive illegal-immigration law recently passed in Arizona. Her response was diplomatic, but not very politically-correct siding against illegal immigration. This is now the second year in a row a celebrity judge has tried to bait a contestant with the hot-button issue of the day after last year’s pillaging of Carrie Prejean by Perez Hilton. At least Oscar Nunez didn’t call Ms Fakih the c-word.

But I wonder where’s the outrage? Protesters are gathered around Staples Center this very minute protesting Arizona’s law prior to the Lakers-Suns NBA Playoff game. Besides this event, sports radio was consumed with an effort to boycott an upcoming Dodgers-Diamonbacks game. This issue has reached such a level that the City of Los Angeles is officially boycotting the State of Arizona (not sure how that works) and even the director of the Fiesta Bowl in Phoenix was asked whether these boycotts would affect next season’s BCS slate.

But I don’t hear any outcry against Ms Fakih (or do I call her Ms USA now, like she’s some kind of superhero?). Don’t get me wrong, I do not believe she deserves it, and in some respects I do believe it is a fair question. We shouldn’t expect our eye candy to be vapid. We live in a new enlightened world after all. But I do see a double standard.

To add to my outrage comes reports that Ms Fakih won a faux-stripper contest at a local radio station. Crowns have been stripped for less. And again, this was more fuel on the Carrie Prejean fire.

Now, I am no fan of Ms Prejean. I think the ‘persecution’ card was overplayed and continues to be overplayed today. But with the deafening silence surrounding this latest ‘pageant scandal’, I begin to wonder if there’s fire behind all the smoke. Maybe we’re walking on egg shells because of Ms Fakih’s faith and ethnicity? Maybe Ms Prejean made herself a target by making such a big deal out of it last year? Likely, the truth is probably a little of both. But I cannot help but wonder, what if a white Christian woman from a very-Red state was asked the same question and then won the crown, what would be the response?

Move over Carrie Prejean

Frank

I apologize for diverging from our regularly scheduled (well, scheduled anyway) study of Living on the Edge to catch up on some news, but I couldn’t avoid this subject on the radio during my drive home and I need to vent. Last night, Rima Fakih won the Miss USA pageant, becoming the first Arab-American to win the pageant. During her Q&A, she was asked about the divisive illegal-immigration law recently passed in Arizona. Her response was diplomatic, but not very politically-correct siding against illegal immigration. This is now the second year in a row a celebrity judge has tried to bait a contestant with the hot-button issue of the day after last year’s pillaging of Carrie Prejean by Perez Hilton. At least Oscar Nunez didn’t call Ms Fakih the c-word.

But I wonder where’s the outrage? Protesters are gathered around Staples Center this very minute protesting Arizona’s law prior to the Lakers-Suns NBA Playoff game. Besides this event, sports radio was consumed with an effort to boycott an upcoming Dodgers-Diamonbacks game. This issue has reached such a level that the City of Los Angeles is officially boycotting the State of Arizona (not sure how that works) and even the director of the Fiesta Bowl in Phoenix was asked whether these boycotts would affect next season’s BCS slate.

But I don’t hear any outcry against Ms Fakih (or do I call her Ms USA now, like she’s some kind of superhero?). Don’t get me wrong, I do not believe she deserves it, and in some respects I do believe it is a fair question. We shouldn’t expect our eye candy to be vapid. We live in a new enlightened world after all. But I do see a double standard.

To add to my outrage comes reports that Ms Fakih won a faux-stripper contest at a local radio station. Crowns have been stripped for less. And again, this was more fuel on the Carrie Prejean fire.

Now, I am no fan of Ms Prejean. I think the ‘persecution’ card was overplayed and continues to be overplayed today. But with the deafening silence surrounding this latest ‘pageant scandal’, I begin to wonder if there’s fire behind all the smoke. Maybe we’re walking on egg shells because of Ms Fakih’s faith and ethnicity? Maybe Ms Prejean made herself a target by making such a big deal out of it last year? Likely, the truth is probably a little of both. But I cannot help but wonder, what if a white Christian woman from a very-Red state was asked the same question and then won the crown, what would be the response?

R12: What’s keeping you?

Frank

A couple of weekends ago, I took my five year-old to a monster truck show. He loves the toys and always responds with “Wow! Did you see that?” whenever he sees a picture or a video of just about anything with wheels larger than the norm. I never expected his response from the show: growing up to be a monster truck driver is now running neck and neck with growing up to be an astronaut. I tell him that maybe he can do both, driving monster trucks on the moon, but he doesn’t believe me.

“I want to grow up to be a monster truck driver!” may be something we expect to hear from a five year-old along with astronaut or fireman. At this age, the child wants to imitate the what, not the who. An astronaut is recognized by the suit he or she wears. But can you honestly name one of the astronauts up in space right now? My son thinks Grave Digger is the coolest monster truck (and who doesn’t?), but can you tell me the name of the driver? Yet you go to a monster truck show and there will be kids lined up with their parents to get an autograph from the driver of their favorite truck. The signature shows on a picture of the truck, likely doing something incredibly cool, not on a picture of the driver.

The monster truck driver, the fireman, the astronaut must be content with anonymity and joyful in the role they play. No one else can do what they do. So fame is secondary to getting to do something worthwhile. Only later in life do we grow out of the vague answers of policeman or pilot and begin to aspire to “be like Mike”- now desiring fame when the name is larger than the role.

We’re tempted to the same with our Christianity. In ministry, “I want to be like her.” If an aspiring author, “I want to be like him.” “I want my family to be like theirs.” Admit it, you hear this, you may even say it. Why don’t we hear “I want to be like Jesus” more often?

When I first really dug into Romans 12, it was like a dagger in my heart. What was clear above all else was that it wasn’t about me. Words like “sober judgement”, “love must be sincere”, “honor… above yourselves”, “harmony”, “do not be conceited” were contrary to my religiosity and absent from the church around me. I recognized I wasn’t following God’s son the way he would like and if I really wanted to do great things for Him, I had to change. As the song goes, “I put myself upon the shelf.”

Authentic community is defined as when the real you meets real needs for the right reason in the right way. Romans 12:11 gives us the right reason, “Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.” The reason is that it’s for Him, being led by the Holy Spirit, with all diligence and zeal. If you choose to live that way, don’t expect recognition. You may receive gratitude at times, but your reward will wait for you in heaven.

Chip Ingram gives the example of being called last minute up to lead a weekend retreat where he preached nonstop, served to the point of exhaustion, and battled spiritually alongside several brothers. At the end of the weekend, the feeling of a job well done was sucked away when he received the lowest honorarium he’d ever received. His joy was robbed by his own pride wanting to be recognized for his hard work. Only after a great deal of prayer was he able to reconcile that he wasn’t serving for his own recognition, but he was serving in zeal for the Lord as Paul commanded.

If you’re tempted to feel this way, and I know I am on a daily basis, here are some scriptures worth reflecting over:

“For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10, NASB)

“How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and you do not seek the glory that is from the one and only God?“ (John 5:44, NASB)

“And He said to them, ‘You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts; for that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God.‘” (Luke 16:15, NASB)

Think: Do you relate to this temptation? Why or why not?
Reflect: How would you characterize your current service to God? Is it, on fire, fading, or in need of passion? Why?
Understand: What practical ways have helped you keep your service to God characterized by excellence and passion? What do you do when you are concerned about having improper motives?
Surrender: Ask God to help you see your motives through His eyes. Leisurely remember it’s about loving God, not fulfilling people’s expectations. Confess or rejoice as necessary.
Take Action: Take a long, slow walk and evaluate your present ministry involvement: too much, too little, none at all.
Motivation: Get the joy and adventure back in serving. Consider doing three acts of kindness this week. Buy coffee for the next person in line, get a meal for a homeless person, or meet a need secretly at work.
Encourage Someone: If you apply this verse, “Not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord” you will encourage many!

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

R12: What’s keeping you?

Frank

A couple of weekends ago, I took my five year-old to a monster truck show. He loves the toys and always responds with “Wow! Did you see that?” whenever he sees a picture or a video of just about anything with wheels larger than the norm. I never expected his response from the show: growing up to be a monster truck driver is now running neck and neck with growing up to be an astronaut. I tell him that maybe he can do both, driving monster trucks on the moon, but he doesn’t believe me.

“I want to grow up to be a monster truck driver!” may be something we expect to hear from a five year-old along with astronaut or fireman. At this age, the child wants to imitate the what, not the who. An astronaut is recognized by the suit he or she wears. But can you honestly name one of the astronauts up in space right now? My son thinks Grave Digger is the coolest monster truck (and who doesn’t?), but can you tell me the name of the driver? Yet you go to a monster truck show and there will be kids lined up with their parents to get an autograph from the driver of their favorite truck. The signature shows on a picture of the truck, likely doing something incredibly cool, not on a picture of the driver.

The monster truck driver, the fireman, the astronaut must be content with anonymity and joyful in the role they play. No one else can do what they do. So fame is secondary to getting to do something worthwhile. Only later in life do we grow out of the vague answers of policeman or pilot and begin to aspire to “be like Mike”- now desiring fame when the name is larger than the role.

We’re tempted to the same with our Christianity. In ministry, “I want to be like her.” If an aspiring author, “I want to be like him.” “I want my family to be like theirs.” Admit it, you hear this, you may even say it. Why don’t we hear “I want to be like Jesus” more often?

When I first really dug into Romans 12, it was like a dagger in my heart. What was clear above all else was that it wasn’t about me. Words like “sober judgement”, “love must be sincere”, “honor… above yourselves”, “harmony”, “do not be conceited” were contrary to my religiosity and absent from the church around me. I recognized I wasn’t following God’s son the way he would like and if I really wanted to do great things for Him, I had to change. As the song goes, “I put myself upon the shelf.”

Authentic community is defined as when the real you meets real needs for the right reason in the right way. Romans 12:11 gives us the right reason, “Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.” The reason is that it’s for Him, being led by the Holy Spirit, with all diligence and zeal. If you choose to live that way, don’t expect recognition. You may receive gratitude at times, but your reward will wait for you in heaven.

Chip Ingram gives the example of being called last minute up to lead a weekend retreat where he preached nonstop, served to the point of exhaustion, and battled spiritually alongside several brothers. At the end of the weekend, the feeling of a job well done was sucked away when he received the lowest honorarium he’d ever received. His joy was robbed by his own pride wanting to be recognized for his hard work. Only after a great deal of prayer was he able to reconcile that he wasn’t serving for his own recognition, but he was serving in zeal for the Lord as Paul commanded.

If you’re tempted to feel this way, and I know I am on a daily basis, here are some scriptures worth reflecting over:

“For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10, NASB)

“How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and you do not seek the glory that is from the one and only God?“ (John 5:44, NASB)

“And He said to them, ‘You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts; for that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God.‘” (Luke 16:15, NASB)

Think: Do you relate to this temptation? Why or why not?
Reflect: How would you characterize your current service to God? Is it, on fire, fading, or in need of passion? Why?
Understand: What practical ways have helped you keep your service to God characterized by excellence and passion? What do you do when you are concerned about having improper motives?
Surrender: Ask God to help you see your motives through His eyes. Leisurely remember it’s about loving God, not fulfilling people’s expectations. Confess or rejoice as necessary.
Take Action: Take a long, slow walk and evaluate your present ministry involvement: too much, too little, none at all.
Motivation: Get the joy and adventure back in serving. Consider doing three acts of kindness this week. Buy coffee for the next person in line, get a meal for a homeless person, or meet a need secretly at work.
Encourage Someone: If you apply this verse, “Not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord” you will encourage many!

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

R12: Are you building relationships?

Frank

Real community is when the real you meets real needs for the right reasons in the right way. This follows the outline of Romans 12:9-13. We’ve already talked about taking off our masks and exposing the real you. Now, how do we meet those “real needs”?

Romans 12:10 reads, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Easier said than done. Devoted is a strong word. With respect to relationships within the church, this is more than asking someone, “hey, how ya doin?” It is even more than opening your home to your closest friends. It is more aligned with the love you would have towards your family. In fact, the first sentence is redundant in its original Greek. “Devoted” is translated from the familiar philadelphia, which we often see translated as brotherly love which is instead translated later in the sentence from the root philos. Repetition adds emphasis. So in other words, in case you didn’t get it the first time, I’ll repeat myself. Kinda like saying, “do good by being good.” Philos is the word used for familial love as well as close friendships. Devotion in this case raises our relationships within our church to the same level as family. This verse forces us to ask ourselves to go to the same lengths to serve our brothers and sisters in Christ as we would to serve our brothers and sisters in blood and/or name.

Like I said, easier said than done. How many of your brothers or sisters in Christ have hurt you in some way? We so easily turn our backs on them and those scars never heal. Conversely, we grow up fighting with our siblings, pulling hair, stealing toys, tattling to parents when our sister isn’t staying on her side of the car. We hurt and we get hurt. But we don’t just stop being brother and sister at that point. Sadly, siblings may drift apart as they grow older, but while they are under the same roof, despite the hurt they are still bonded together. We are under the same roof with our brothers and sisters in the faith. Yet we treat them differently. This verse teaches that this should not be the case.

The second sentence is required to fulfill the first. We need to be humble. We need to consider the needs of others ahead of our own. As an aside, this can be dangerous if taken to extremes. One of my biggest weaknesses is to serve to such an extent that I neglect my needs to the point of starvation. I get irritable, withdrawn, and lose whatever motivation I may have had. “But I’m doing it for the Lord! The Bible commands me to live this way!” No, it doesn’t. Others’ needs should be above our own, but not to the point of neglecting ourselves. I’m grateful for one brother who always encourages me to go do something fun for myself because he knows I won’t unless I’m told. My wife has learned this too and will often poke and prod me to do something for myself when she sees me get this way. A better definition instead would be (thanks again to Chip), “serving is giving someone what they really need, when they deserve it least, at great personal cost.” Have you ever served in that way? This isn’t burning yourself out as I am tempted to do. It is sacrificing for the benefit of another. Chip uses the example of helping someone with their rent when he knew he wouldn’t be able to pay his own. It’s easy to give a buck to the person begging for food or change outside of a restaurant after we’ve already eaten our full. What about buying that person a meal with the money you were going to spend on yourself? That is much harder.

A great example of this devotion and honor is illustrated in the movie The Blind Side. Can you imagine taking someone into your home like that? I love the part when Sandra Bullock’s character is getting grilled by her girlfriends. “This isn’t a ‘white guilt’ thing is it?” Then a half-repentant, “that’s great, your changing this boy’s life!” To which Sandra replies, “No, he’s changing mine.” While that sounds hokey and expected in a movie to make a cheesy, sappy point, it is still true. True devotion and honor will change your life. Sacrificing your needs to meet the needs of someone else shouldn’t burn you out. If it does, you’re doing it wrong. Instead it should fill you with a sense of joy in the Holy Spirit knowing you’re doing God’s will.

The best example is obviously Jesus,
“who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!” (Philippians 2:6-8)

“Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:7-8) This death is the foundation of our faith and while it serves to cleanse us of our sins, it also serves an example of how to live. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) This is devotion. This is honor. This leads to authentic community.

Think: What hit home in this chapter?
Reflect: Who comes to mind when you think of someone who has honored you and been devoted to you? How do you feel about them?
Understand: What person or situation are you aware of that would qualify as a real need? Who is hurting who needs help?
Surrender: You may not be the one to meet the need that you listed above; but tell God you are willing to make a real sacrifice to meet that need if that is His will.
Take Action: Get out of your comfort zone and convenient zone this week. Help one person in a way that “really costs you something.”
Motivation: Download the full-length audio message How to Experience Authentic Community at R12 online. [R12 button to the right, serving tab, free resources at the bottom]
Encourage someone: Who has met a real need in your life in the past? Whether it was loaning you money, telling you the truth, helping heal your marriage, or driving your kids to practice… let them know how grateful you are to Christ for them.

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

R12: Are you building relationships?

Frank

Real community is when the real you meets real needs for the right reasons in the right way. This follows the outline of Romans 12:9-13. We’ve already talked about taking off our masks and exposing the real you. Now, how do we meet those “real needs”?

Romans 12:10 reads, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Easier said than done. Devoted is a strong word. With respect to relationships within the church, this is more than asking someone, “hey, how ya doin?” It is even more than opening your home to your closest friends. It is more aligned with the love you would have towards your family. In fact, the first sentence is redundant in its original Greek. “Devoted” is translated from the familiar philadelphia, which we often see translated as brotherly love which is instead translated later in the sentence from the root philos. Repetition adds emphasis. So in other words, in case you didn’t get it the first time, I’ll repeat myself. Kinda like saying, “do good by being good.” Philos is the word used for familial love as well as close friendships. Devotion in this case raises our relationships within our church to the same level as family. This verse forces us to ask ourselves to go to the same lengths to serve our brothers and sisters in Christ as we would to serve our brothers and sisters in blood and/or name.

Like I said, easier said than done. How many of your brothers or sisters in Christ have hurt you in some way? We so easily turn our backs on them and those scars never heal. Conversely, we grow up fighting with our siblings, pulling hair, stealing toys, tattling to parents when our sister isn’t staying on her side of the car. We hurt and we get hurt. But we don’t just stop being brother and sister at that point. Sadly, siblings may drift apart as they grow older, but while they are under the same roof, despite the hurt they are still bonded together. We are under the same roof with our brothers and sisters in the faith. Yet we treat them differently. This verse teaches that this should not be the case.

The second sentence is required to fulfill the first. We need to be humble. We need to consider the needs of others ahead of our own. As an aside, this can be dangerous if taken to extremes. One of my biggest weaknesses is to serve to such an extent that I neglect my needs to the point of starvation. I get irritable, withdrawn, and lose whatever motivation I may have had. “But I’m doing it for the Lord! The Bible commands me to live this way!” No, it doesn’t. Others’ needs should be above our own, but not to the point of neglecting ourselves. I’m grateful for one brother who always encourages me to go do something fun for myself because he knows I won’t unless I’m told. My wife has learned this too and will often poke and prod me to do something for myself when she sees me get this way. A better definition instead would be (thanks again to Chip), “serving is giving someone what they really need, when they deserve it least, at great personal cost.” Have you ever served in that way? This isn’t burning yourself out as I am tempted to do. It is sacrificing for the benefit of another. Chip uses the example of helping someone with their rent when he knew he wouldn’t be able to pay his own. It’s easy to give a buck to the person begging for food or change outside of a restaurant after we’ve already eaten our full. What about buying that person a meal with the money you were going to spend on yourself? That is much harder.

A great example of this devotion and honor is illustrated in the movie The Blind Side. Can you imagine taking someone into your home like that? I love the part when Sandra Bullock’s character is getting grilled by her girlfriends. “This isn’t a ‘white guilt’ thing is it?” Then a half-repentant, “that’s great, your changing this boy’s life!” To which Sandra replies, “No, he’s changing mine.” While that sounds hokey and expected in a movie to make a cheesy, sappy point, it is still true. True devotion and honor will change your life. Sacrificing your needs to meet the needs of someone else shouldn’t burn you out. If it does, you’re doing it wrong. Instead it should fill you with a sense of joy in the Holy Spirit knowing you’re doing God’s will.

The best example is obviously Jesus,
“who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!” (Philippians 2:6-8)

“Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:7-8) This death is the foundation of our faith and while it serves to cleanse us of our sins, it also serves an example of how to live. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) This is devotion. This is honor. This leads to authentic community.

Think: What hit home in this chapter?
Reflect: Who comes to mind when you think of someone who has honored you and been devoted to you? How do you feel about them?
Understand: What person or situation are you aware of that would qualify as a real need? Who is hurting who needs help?
Surrender: You may not be the one to meet the need that you listed above; but tell God you are willing to make a real sacrifice to meet that need if that is His will.
Take Action: Get out of your comfort zone and convenient zone this week. Help one person in a way that “really costs you something.”
Motivation: Download the full-length audio message How to Experience Authentic Community at R12 online. [R12 button to the right, serving tab, free resources at the bottom]
Encourage someone: Who has met a real need in your life in the past? Whether it was loaning you money, telling you the truth, helping heal your marriage, or driving your kids to practice… let them know how grateful you are to Christ for them.

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

R12: Why is God so serious?

Frank

We all have masks we wear. We have different ones for different times and different people. We have ones we haven’t used or needed in a long time, we have others that we’ve never used but we hold onto just in case. Masks prevent authentic community. Masks keep us from being vulnerable and revealing the real we. And on Sunday mornings we surround ourselves with tens, hundreds, and sometimes thousands of other people all wearing masks.

The fourth relationship in Romans 12 is Serving in Love which appropriately follows Sober Self-Assessment. I need to be ok with the real me before I can share that with others. I need to see myself as a sinner in need of God’s grace in order to see others the same way. Once I’m able to do that, barriers are dropped, masks are taken off, and I can begin to see authentic community.

Removing masks is only one part of authentic community however. Get a couple of beers in me and I’ll be plenty vulnerable. I’ll probably tell you more than you want to know. And you see this type of community at the local watering hole made famous by Cheers or for the younger amongst us, think Moe’s in The Simpsons.

We need to not only take off our masks, but we also need to have conviction behind our vulnerability. I share sin because I’m convicted about it. I rebuke a brother because I’m concerned about him. We need to call sin, sin and not dance around it as we are often so tempted to do. Real community begins when our love is sincere and we hate what is evil. (Romans 12:9)

My small group got together last night. It was encouraging to me to watch everyone interact. This small group has gone through several iterations over the last few years and I’m finally seeing relationships grow deep and people click. One of my best friends called me over the other night to share some of his struggles. I was encouraged to be there for him, but I was more encouraged that our friendship was strong enough that we could be vulnerable with one another. Small groups aren’t the miracle cure. And not every relationship at church will be vulnerable. But if we really want the Body of Christ to be all Jesus prayed it would be in John 17, we need to take the first steps by removing our masks and having a conviction about sin.

The importance of this is illustrated by the story of Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5. To make a long story short, this couple wasn’t sincere and wanted to put on a mask to impress the fledgling church. The results? Death, as soon as they were confronted by it and then lied to cover their tracks. While this might be an isolated incident, it is no less serious to God. The first to be thrown in the lake of burning fire in Revelation 21 are the cowards. The last are the liars. Pretty much any sin you can think of can be bookended by these two root sins. God takes this very seriously.

I encourage you to identify your masks and cast them aside. Study the Word of God and develop a conviction against sin. You need both to prevent you from living a watered-down-Gospel on one side or being an unloving fire-and-brimstone Christian cliche on the other. Jesus wants a relationship with the real you and so does the rest of His Body, the Church.

Think: What is necessary for the “real you” to show in your relationships?
Reflect: Why do you think God judges the hypocrisy of Ananias and his wife so harshly? How or where are you most prone to wear a mask?
Understand: What is the relationship between hypocrisy and purity? Is there any “secret sin” or temptation God might be speaking to you about?
Surrender: Pray Psalm 139:23-24. Commit to respond to whatever the Holy Spirit reveals to you.
Take Action: We all struggle with sin and hypocrisy. Both are like bacteria; once brought into the light, their power to infect and inflict disease is removed. Bring any “secret sin” or temptations into the light of God’s presence (1 John 1:9) and tell a trusted friend or pastor. “Confess your sins to one another that you might be healed.” (James 5:16)
Motivation: Consider downloading “Overcoming the Dragon of Lust- for Men” if you struggle with the issue. [Follow the R12 button on the right, select the Serving tab and find this lesson under “Free Resources”.]
Encourage your Pastor: E-mail, text, or drop a note to your pastor. It’s no fun sharing “convicting messages” that protect the flock from hypocrisy and impurity. Thank him for his faithfulness and courage; let him know we all need the truthful messages along with the grace of God.

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

R12: Why is God so serious?

Frank

We all have masks we wear. We have different ones for different times and different people. We have ones we haven’t used or needed in a long time, we have others that we’ve never used but we hold onto just in case. Masks prevent authentic community. Masks keep us from being vulnerable and revealing the real we. And on Sunday mornings we surround ourselves with tens, hundreds, and sometimes thousands of other people all wearing masks.

The fourth relationship in Romans 12 is Serving in Love which appropriately follows Sober Self-Assessment. I need to be ok with the real me before I can share that with others. I need to see myself as a sinner in need of God’s grace in order to see others the same way. Once I’m able to do that, barriers are dropped, masks are taken off, and I can begin to see authentic community.

Removing masks is only one part of authentic community however. Get a couple of beers in me and I’ll be plenty vulnerable. I’ll probably tell you more than you want to know. And you see this type of community at the local watering hole made famous by Cheers or for the younger amongst us, think Moe’s in The Simpsons.

We need to not only take off our masks, but we also need to have conviction behind our vulnerability. I share sin because I’m convicted about it. I rebuke a brother because I’m concerned about him. We need to call sin, sin and not dance around it as we are often so tempted to do. Real community begins when our love is sincere and we hate what is evil. (Romans 12:9)

My small group got together last night. It was encouraging to me to watch everyone interact. This small group has gone through several iterations over the last few years and I’m finally seeing relationships grow deep and people click. One of my best friends called me over the other night to share some of his struggles. I was encouraged to be there for him, but I was more encouraged that our friendship was strong enough that we could be vulnerable with one another. Small groups aren’t the miracle cure. And not every relationship at church will be vulnerable. But if we really want the Body of Christ to be all Jesus prayed it would be in John 17, we need to take the first steps by removing our masks and having a conviction about sin.

The importance of this is illustrated by the story of Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5. To make a long story short, this couple wasn’t sincere and wanted to put on a mask to impress the fledgling church. The results? Death, as soon as they were confronted by it and then lied to cover their tracks. While this might be an isolated incident, it is no less serious to God. The first to be thrown in the lake of burning fire in Revelation 21 are the cowards. The last are the liars. Pretty much any sin you can think of can be bookended by these two root sins. God takes this very seriously.

I encourage you to identify your masks and cast them aside. Study the Word of God and develop a conviction against sin. You need both to prevent you from living a watered-down-Gospel on one side or being an unloving fire-and-brimstone Christian cliche on the other. Jesus wants a relationship with the real you and so does the rest of His Body, the Church.

Think: What is necessary for the “real you” to show in your relationships?
Reflect: Why do you think God judges the hypocrisy of Ananias and his wife so harshly? How or where are you most prone to wear a mask?
Understand: What is the relationship between hypocrisy and purity? Is there any “secret sin” or temptation God might be speaking to you about?
Surrender: Pray Psalm 139:23-24. Commit to respond to whatever the Holy Spirit reveals to you.
Take Action: We all struggle with sin and hypocrisy. Both are like bacteria; once brought into the light, their power to infect and inflict disease is removed. Bring any “secret sin” or temptations into the light of God’s presence (1 John 1:9) and tell a trusted friend or pastor. “Confess your sins to one another that you might be healed.” (James 5:16)
Motivation: Consider downloading “Overcoming the Dragon of Lust- for Men” if you struggle with the issue. [Follow the R12 button on the right, select the Serving tab and find this lesson under “Free Resources”.]
Encourage your Pastor: E-mail, text, or drop a note to your pastor. It’s no fun sharing “convicting messages” that protect the flock from hypocrisy and impurity. Thank him for his faithfulness and courage; let him know we all need the truthful messages along with the grace of God.

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.