blog-carnival

Love Must be Sincere

Frank

To continue from this morning’s post to the blog carnival, let’s look inside our church walls. Here is where the theme for this week, kindness, is most evident. We can fake our way with strangers, but it’s much harder to fake with brothers and sisters in Christ that we see on a regular basis.

Or is it? I would challenge any of you to walk into a church that’s not your own and not come away saying something like, “that congregation was so kind.” Now return to your spiritual comfort zone. Isn’t the same true? Isn’t the Ned Flanders cliche Christian nice? Kind? Sometimes overwhelmingly so! But just like how we treat those outside our church walls, we fake our way with our spiritual peers. I’m sure you’ve had this conversation:

“Hey bro, how are things at home?”

“Oh, you know, alright. The same ole, same ole.”

“Yeah, I hear you. Same with me. Well, I’ll pray for you.”

That sounds kind. But is the love behind it sincere? Remember the literal translation from Romans 12:9 is “without hypocrisy”. When we think of hypocrisy, we often think of outright, obvious sins. But we can also be hypocrites with our lack of openness and transparency, our lip-service concern for one another, and our boastings of our own spiritual maturity.

That’s just one case. Another, more painful, example is how we treat those with whom we disagree with spiritually, or worse those who have left our spiritual family. My fellowship of churches has a bad, but deserved, reputation for how we treat other Christians outside our spiritual clique. I was reminded of this again when my wife was spending quality time with an old friend from campus ministry. She left my church years ago and has been looked down upon ever since. It has been hard for my wife to rebuild that friendship because there was doubt about the sincerity of her love, of her kindness. What was my wife’s motive? Was she trying to goad her friend into returning to church? Or is she herself struggling so much as to spend time with one such as her? Last weekend these questions and more came out and I admire my wife’s maturity in addressing them. She does sincerely love her friend. She has no motive other than to be a friend, though she does have genuine concern for her spiritual health. She was kind.

Another sad example is how we are tempted to “love bomb” new visitors to church, but forget them once they become regulars. Again, this is not sincere and makes our demonstrated love at the beginning nothing but hypocrisy. Are you as excited to see someone new on Sunday morning as you are to see the same faces you have for years? I think about this often as I roam the fellowship on Sundays. I make every effort to greet everyone I know with a sincere “how are you? Great to see you!” And those I don’t know I make sure to greet with a warm smile. I don’t always remember the prayers I say I’m going to pray, but I always remember them as people, not as nameless faces that crowd the pews.

To be honest, I’m not always kind. I have a biting sarcasm that I’m tempted to use to passive-aggressively hurt others. I can be impatient and short tempered. And when that character comes out, the first thing I think of is how I’m not being kind. This is true not just at church, or with non-believers as these posts have been about, but also with my family at home. But no matter what, I always strive to love sincerely, without hypocrisy.

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2)

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)

Love Must be Sincere

Frank

To continue from this morning’s post to the blog carnival, let’s look inside our church walls. Here is where the theme for this week, kindness, is most evident. We can fake our way with strangers, but it’s much harder to fake with brothers and sisters in Christ that we see on a regular basis.

Or is it? I would challenge any of you to walk into a church that’s not your own and not come away saying something like, “that congregation was so kind.” Now return to your spiritual comfort zone. Isn’t the same true? Isn’t the Ned Flanders cliche Christian nice? Kind? Sometimes overwhelmingly so! But just like how we treat those outside our church walls, we fake our way with our spiritual peers. I’m sure you’ve had this conversation:

“Hey bro, how are things at home?”

“Oh, you know, alright. The same ole, same ole.”

“Yeah, I hear you. Same with me. Well, I’ll pray for you.”

That sounds kind. But is the love behind it sincere? Remember the literal translation from Romans 12:9 is “without hypocrisy”. When we think of hypocrisy, we often think of outright, obvious sins. But we can also be hypocrites with our lack of openness and transparency, our lip-service concern for one another, and our boastings of our own spiritual maturity.

That’s just one case. Another, more painful, example is how we treat those with whom we disagree with spiritually, or worse those who have left our spiritual family. My fellowship of churches has a bad, but deserved, reputation for how we treat other Christians outside our spiritual clique. I was reminded of this again when my wife was spending quality time with an old friend from campus ministry. She left my church years ago and has been looked down upon ever since. It has been hard for my wife to rebuild that friendship because there was doubt about the sincerity of her love, of her kindness. What was my wife’s motive? Was she trying to goad her friend into returning to church? Or is she herself struggling so much as to spend time with one such as her? Last weekend these questions and more came out and I admire my wife’s maturity in addressing them. She does sincerely love her friend. She has no motive other than to be a friend, though she does have genuine concern for her spiritual health. She was kind.

Another sad example is how we are tempted to “love bomb” new visitors to church, but forget them once they become regulars. Again, this is not sincere and makes our demonstrated love at the beginning nothing but hypocrisy. Are you as excited to see someone new on Sunday morning as you are to see the same faces you have for years? I think about this often as I roam the fellowship on Sundays. I make every effort to greet everyone I know with a sincere “how are you? Great to see you!” And those I don’t know I make sure to greet with a warm smile. I don’t always remember the prayers I say I’m going to pray, but I always remember them as people, not as nameless faces that crowd the pews.

To be honest, I’m not always kind. I have a biting sarcasm that I’m tempted to use to passive-aggressively hurt others. I can be impatient and short tempered. And when that character comes out, the first thing I think of is how I’m not being kind. This is true not just at church, or with non-believers as these posts have been about, but also with my family at home. But no matter what, I always strive to love sincerely, without hypocrisy.

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2)

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)

Love Without Hypocrisy

Frank

The theme of this week’s blog carnival is another Fruit of the Spirit, kindness. While the word “kindness” by itself didn’t inspire any immediate thoughts, two Scriptures kept coming to mind:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35)

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” (Romans 12:9)

We call ourselves Christians, but do we show it with our love? This is where kindness comes in. It’s easy to fake kindness by being cordial and polite. But the kindness described in Galatians 5 comes from the heart. It is sincere, without hypocrisy. (The literal translation of “sincere” in Romans 12 above is “hypocrisy”) And that kindness can only come rooted in love.

So again I ask, can the world recognize us as Christians by our love, by our kindness? A couple recent examples remind me that by in large, the world recognizes us a Christians not by our love but by our cynicism and hate. Michael Hyatt blogged yesterday regarding Tiger Wood’s apology. Several people have asked me what I thought of it and I honestly replied that I didn’t see it and I didn’t care. The cynic in me knows that this apology was scripted and the press conference was a PR stunt. Do I forgive him? Does it matter? But Michael puts it in its proper, Christian, perspective. We need to forgive, regardless. He broke his advice into these parts: 1, resist the temptation to judge; 2, accept the apology at face value; 3, believe in the possibility of change; 4, extend mercy and grace; and 5, pray for transformation. That is how I want to be treated with regards to my own sin, I should extend the same to others. To paraphrase Thomas a’ Kempis in The Imitation of Christ, “Remember that the worst of someone’s sin against you is nothing compared with the worst sin Jesus has already forgiven you of.”

Anne Lang Bundy boldly brought up another example of the wrong example Christians set- how we treat homosexuals. Regardless of you opinions of same-sex marriage, the nature of homosexuality, or even personal experience, you have to admit that some facets of American Christianity (TM) treat homosexuality wrongly. The proper response in sincere love? Anne breaks it down as 1, love; 2, remember that we all sin; 3, remember that Jesus forgives all sin (but one); 4, give grace that not everyone has the same faith or biblical knowledge to deal with their sin; but 5, when they do, we need to address it; and 6, in case you forgot, love.

Those are just a couple of examples. I’ll be back later today with part 2, looking inside our church walls.

Love Without Hypocrisy

Frank

The theme of this week’s blog carnival is another Fruit of the Spirit, kindness. While the word “kindness” by itself didn’t inspire any immediate thoughts, two Scriptures kept coming to mind:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35)

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” (Romans 12:9)

We call ourselves Christians, but do we show it with our love? This is where kindness comes in. It’s easy to fake kindness by being cordial and polite. But the kindness described in Galatians 5 comes from the heart. It is sincere, without hypocrisy. (The literal translation of “sincere” in Romans 12 above is “hypocrisy”) And that kindness can only come rooted in love.

So again I ask, can the world recognize us as Christians by our love, by our kindness? A couple recent examples remind me that by in large, the world recognizes us a Christians not by our love but by our cynicism and hate. Michael Hyatt blogged yesterday regarding Tiger Wood’s apology. Several people have asked me what I thought of it and I honestly replied that I didn’t see it and I didn’t care. The cynic in me knows that this apology was scripted and the press conference was a PR stunt. Do I forgive him? Does it matter? But Michael puts it in its proper, Christian, perspective. We need to forgive, regardless. He broke his advice into these parts: 1, resist the temptation to judge; 2, accept the apology at face value; 3, believe in the possibility of change; 4, extend mercy and grace; and 5, pray for transformation. That is how I want to be treated with regards to my own sin, I should extend the same to others. To paraphrase Thomas a’ Kempis in The Imitation of Christ, “Remember that the worst of someone’s sin against you is nothing compared with the worst sin Jesus has already forgiven you of.”

Anne Lang Bundy boldly brought up another example of the wrong example Christians set- how we treat homosexuals. Regardless of you opinions of same-sex marriage, the nature of homosexuality, or even personal experience, you have to admit that some facets of American Christianity (TM) treat homosexuality wrongly. The proper response in sincere love? Anne breaks it down as 1, love; 2, remember that we all sin; 3, remember that Jesus forgives all sin (but one); 4, give grace that not everyone has the same faith or biblical knowledge to deal with their sin; but 5, when they do, we need to address it; and 6, in case you forgot, love.

Those are just a couple of examples. I’ll be back later today with part 2, looking inside our church walls.

High Speed

Frank

A friend was recently complaining to me that it was taking too long for a game to load on his iPhone. I was thinking, “Dude, you’re playing a video game on your phone that’s not a monochromatic snake eating apples!” I can relate though, the wonders of 3G aside. I remember when the Internet became more than just forums and listserves and displayed graphics, full-pages of text, and even color. The wonder of it all! I didn’t mind at all that a page would take a while to load, it was assumed. As the Internet became more widespread, Internet access no longer required a network, but could be accessed at home with a modest 14.4 kbps dial-up modem (a little evolved from the primitive modem in the movie War Games). As more people started to use the Internet and more and more web pages became available, modem speeds had to increase to compensate. Of course as modem speed increased, so did the bells and whistles on each page. Pretty graphics gave way to music and video, Flash and Applets, RSS and Twitter. Can you imagine accessing the Internet today with a 14.4 or even a 28.8 modem? Now we have High Speed, DSL, wi–fi, and 3G and for some reason web pages take the same amount of time to load as they did with my old 14.4.

Our lives are very similar. As we learn to deal with all that’s on our plate, we add more and more. I have one kid figured out, let’s have another. Two? No problem! Let’s have three. Wait. No. Let me take that back and change subjects. One project at work? Nailed it. Give me another. One responsibility at church? No biggie, I can mentor that teen and lead that small group. Even though our dial-up is getting faster, we increase the data we need to download and the pace never seems to change.

This is where impatience comes in. Patience is the one fruit of the Spirit that I struggle to gain the most. I just can never seem to overcome my impatience. I cannot wait for my page to load and I long for the day of infinitely fast speed. The missing ingredient of course is contentment. As Internet surfers, we weren’t content with primitive web pages and their blocky graphics. We then weren’t content with online news services so we began to blog. We then weren’t content with blogging so we added social networking. Social networking takes too much effort so let’s limit our thoughts to 140 words and Tweet. I’m not content with my cell phone only being used for phone calls; I need to text. I then need to send MMS. Then I need games. Lots and lots of games.

In life, I’m not content with spending quality time with my family; I need to be busy doing something. I’m not content to just sit and watch a movie, I need to surf the Internet too. I’m not content with tackling one project at work, I need to add several more. So it’s no surprise I’m so impatient. Instead of wresting to be patient, I need to slow down and be content. I need to be happy without the bells and whistles. I need to be grateful for the speed I have.

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:11-14)

For other perspectives on patience, check out today’s blog-carnival over at Bridget Cumbley’s.

High Speed

Frank

A friend was recently complaining to me that it was taking too long for a game to load on his iPhone. I was thinking, “Dude, you’re playing a video game on your phone that’s not a monochromatic snake eating apples!” I can relate though, the wonders of 3G aside. I remember when the Internet became more than just forums and listserves and displayed graphics, full-pages of text, and even color. The wonder of it all! I didn’t mind at all that a page would take a while to load, it was assumed. As the Internet became more widespread, Internet access no longer required a network, but could be accessed at home with a modest 14.4 kbps dial-up modem (a little evolved from the primitive modem in the movie War Games). As more people started to use the Internet and more and more web pages became available, modem speeds had to increase to compensate. Of course as modem speed increased, so did the bells and whistles on each page. Pretty graphics gave way to music and video, Flash and Applets, RSS and Twitter. Can you imagine accessing the Internet today with a 14.4 or even a 28.8 modem? Now we have High Speed, DSL, wi–fi, and 3G and for some reason web pages take the same amount of time to load as they did with my old 14.4.

Our lives are very similar. As we learn to deal with all that’s on our plate, we add more and more. I have one kid figured out, let’s have another. Two? No problem! Let’s have three. Wait. No. Let me take that back and change subjects. One project at work? Nailed it. Give me another. One responsibility at church? No biggie, I can mentor that teen and lead that small group. Even though our dial-up is getting faster, we increase the data we need to download and the pace never seems to change.

This is where impatience comes in. Patience is the one fruit of the Spirit that I struggle to gain the most. I just can never seem to overcome my impatience. I cannot wait for my page to load and I long for the day of infinitely fast speed. The missing ingredient of course is contentment. As Internet surfers, we weren’t content with primitive web pages and their blocky graphics. We then weren’t content with online news services so we began to blog. We then weren’t content with blogging so we added social networking. Social networking takes too much effort so let’s limit our thoughts to 140 words and Tweet. I’m not content with my cell phone only being used for phone calls; I need to text. I then need to send MMS. Then I need games. Lots and lots of games.

In life, I’m not content with spending quality time with my family; I need to be busy doing something. I’m not content to just sit and watch a movie, I need to surf the Internet too. I’m not content with tackling one project at work, I need to add several more. So it’s no surprise I’m so impatient. Instead of wresting to be patient, I need to slow down and be content. I need to be happy without the bells and whistles. I need to be grateful for the speed I have.

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:11-14)

For other perspectives on patience, check out today’s blog-carnival over at Bridget Cumbley’s.

Nothing New to See Here

Frank

I post in spurts. Sometimes I am very active, others… well not so much. Part of that is a function of time and opportunity, part of it is inspiration. I’ve really appreciated all the posts the ‘blog carnies’ contribute to the Blog Carnival over at Bridget Chumbley’s. This week’s topic is peace. Honestly, if I felt more at peace, I’d have something to contribute and time to do it. Trying to make deadlines and follow every blog under the sun does not bring me peace and actually sucks the joy away from keeping this blog. On the other hand, seeing so many different takes on a single subject, knowing that each are doing everything they know how to honor God, does bring me peace. So today I will find peace in the (so far) 29 posts on the subject. I hope you do too.

Nothing New to See Here

Frank

I post in spurts. Sometimes I am very active, others… well not so much. Part of that is a function of time and opportunity, part of it is inspiration. I’ve really appreciated all the posts the ‘blog carnies’ contribute to the Blog Carnival over at Bridget Chumbley’s. This week’s topic is peace. Honestly, if I felt more at peace, I’d have something to contribute and time to do it. Trying to make deadlines and follow every blog under the sun does not bring me peace and actually sucks the joy away from keeping this blog. On the other hand, seeing so many different takes on a single subject, knowing that each are doing everything they know how to honor God, does bring me peace. So today I will find peace in the (so far) 29 posts on the subject. I hope you do too.

Tool Shed

Frank
It is that time of year to dust off your Sunday best, wake up a little earlier, and go to church for maybe the second time of the year (the first being Easter). You go to hear Christmas carols, watch a performance, or to satisfy your parents that you’re home visiting. You wish people Marry Christmas and probably have your house decorated with a tree up. You may even be done shopping using the guise of Santa. Why do you go? What do you hope to get from it?

That may sound cynical, but in a country where roughly 80% of Americans call themselves Christians “only 3 out of 10 twentysomethings (31%) attend church in a typical week, compared to 4 out of 10 of those in their 30s (42%) and nearly half of all adults age 40 and older (49%).” (from a 2003 Barna survey) A more frightening way of looking at it is that Barna considers those who only attend church at “Christmas or Easter, or for special events such as a wedding or a funeral” unchurched. This number of adults is a striking 34%. (from a 2004 survey)

So I don’t buy the label “Christian”. Which makes it hard to define “church” in a traditional way. We often define our religion based on how we were raised, and not necessarily our personal doctrine. In fact, doctrine is often secondary as we become a culture where “church shopping” is becoming more and more prevalent. So what is your church and why there? Is it the people you meet (look at how homogeneous your congregation likely is- income level, race, age)? Is it the worship (how relevant are you)? Is it the dynamic preaching (aren’t Jesus’ words the “same yesterday and today and tomorrow“)? Is it the parachurch ministries/activities (are you salt and light)?

But it is usually one of the above that motivates us to attend the church that we do. It should be all the above. But we need to check our expectations at the door. Perhaps you’ve heard the cliche “church isn’t about what you get out of it but what you give to it.” Instead of doctrine, theology, or polity; worship, relevance, or relatability; church is not what it looks like or what it does, but what we do as Christians in its name. For me, church is not a place of worship, it is a tool shed. Full of different tools to suit our different talents for us to use to the glory of God.

It’s too easy to rely on church leaders and think only of what we get out of church. But the Bible does not call us to just show up every weekend (or when it’s convenient). Instead we are called to use the talents we’ve been given to grow Christ’s Church. “Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his[b]faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.” (Romans 12:4-8) and “It was [Jesus] who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” (Ephesians 4:11-13)

Note the ends and the means. God gives us talents and Christ appoints us to roles so that the Church may be united and mature. The goal is not church attendance, spirit-filled worship, or dynamic leadership. It is attaining the fullness of Christ.

You can read a diversity of definitions of church through this week’s blog carnival. To each who post, they are using the tools they get through their church to use the internet to bring unity to the Church. Let this motivate you to rummage through the shed and find the tool that fits you.

Tool Shed

Frank
It is that time of year to dust off your Sunday best, wake up a little earlier, and go to church for maybe the second time of the year (the first being Easter). You go to hear Christmas carols, watch a performance, or to satisfy your parents that you’re home visiting. You wish people Marry Christmas and probably have your house decorated with a tree up. You may even be done shopping using the guise of Santa. Why do you go? What do you hope to get from it?

That may sound cynical, but in a country where roughly 80% of Americans call themselves Christians “only 3 out of 10 twentysomethings (31%) attend church in a typical week, compared to 4 out of 10 of those in their 30s (42%) and nearly half of all adults age 40 and older (49%).” (from a 2003 Barna survey) A more frightening way of looking at it is that Barna considers those who only attend church at “Christmas or Easter, or for special events such as a wedding or a funeral” unchurched. This number of adults is a striking 34%. (from a 2004 survey)

So I don’t buy the label “Christian”. Which makes it hard to define “church” in a traditional way. We often define our religion based on how we were raised, and not necessarily our personal doctrine. In fact, doctrine is often secondary as we become a culture where “church shopping” is becoming more and more prevalent. So what is your church and why there? Is it the people you meet (look at how homogeneous your congregation likely is- income level, race, age)? Is it the worship (how relevant are you)? Is it the dynamic preaching (aren’t Jesus’ words the “same yesterday and today and tomorrow“)? Is it the parachurch ministries/activities (are you salt and light)?

But it is usually one of the above that motivates us to attend the church that we do. It should be all the above. But we need to check our expectations at the door. Perhaps you’ve heard the cliche “church isn’t about what you get out of it but what you give to it.” Instead of doctrine, theology, or polity; worship, relevance, or relatability; church is not what it looks like or what it does, but what we do as Christians in its name. For me, church is not a place of worship, it is a tool shed. Full of different tools to suit our different talents for us to use to the glory of God.

It’s too easy to rely on church leaders and think only of what we get out of church. But the Bible does not call us to just show up every weekend (or when it’s convenient). Instead we are called to use the talents we’ve been given to grow Christ’s Church. “Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his[b]faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.” (Romans 12:4-8) and “It was [Jesus] who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” (Ephesians 4:11-13)

Note the ends and the means. God gives us talents and Christ appoints us to roles so that the Church may be united and mature. The goal is not church attendance, spirit-filled worship, or dynamic leadership. It is attaining the fullness of Christ.

You can read a diversity of definitions of church through this week’s blog carnival. To each who post, they are using the tools they get through their church to use the internet to bring unity to the Church. Let this motivate you to rummage through the shed and find the tool that fits you.