life

Go For Launch

Frank

My son’s newest favorite joke: “When do astronauts eat? Launch time!” (Just don’t let him know you’ve heard the punch line if he comes up and asks, “do you want to do jokes?”)

The countdown to launch is an exciting time. Thanks to the Internet you can listen in when launches are broadcast by NASA television or streamed by Spaceflight Now. You can hear the launch director ask each person responsible for a part of the launch, or a function of the launch vehicle, if they are a “go/no-go” to go ahead with the launch.

“Weather” “Go”
“Flight software” “Go”
“Fuel” “Go”

And my favorite from The Simpsons: “Make rocket go now!”

(For an idea of how intense and involved this is, check out the countdown for a Space Shuttle launch. And that list is only a summary; a lot more goes on behind the scenes.) The countdown may be exciting to those watching or listening in. It is exciting for the lay-person. But I guarantee you it is stressful for those involved. Months, if not years, of preparation have come to fruition. And even the best preparation does not completely eliminate the risk of the entire thing blowing up.

I mentioned before that I’m working on small group curriculum for my church. Well my countdown is now at t-minus two weeks and counting. Am I ready? Are you kidding? There is so much to do between now and “launch” that it is hard for me to picture how we’re ever going to get there. Thankfully, I have a group of great people who have been working very hard to make sure the details all fall into place.

If you have a small group campaign or a curriculum launch, please pray for those preparing it. They need to seek the best way to launch the small groups, make sure they cover the essentials, take the proper steps, and prayerfully figure out the secret to being successful. (and as helpful as all these links are, I’m not really doing any of these- at least not in any traditional sense)

So to say the least, I’ll be pretty tied up the next couple of weeks. Not to mention it’s my “busy season” at work which means I haven’t had the down-time I usually have during the day to work on this like I would normally. And I still have a lot of irons in the fire.

In the meantime, here are a couple important announcements. First, the Antelope Valley Christian Writers’ Conference has been cancelled. While that takes some burden off my shoulders it is bittersweet. I am friends with the person who organizes this and I know how much hard work he’s put into it. Second, I haven’t been as active in social media as I would like. One reason is the busyness of work, but the main reason is that I haven’t updated my phone in pretty much forever so none of my mobile Twitter clients work. What also doesn’t help with respect to this blog, is that StumbledUpon no longer supports link-shrinking with su.pr, so I’ve been using HootSuite. I like that platform a lot, but I don’t like its interface on my phone. Oh well, beggars can’t be choosers. Regardless, this post needs updating when I’m finally back up and running fully.

Given all that, you won’t see any posts here for a while and you might not see me around on social media (but I’ll still be posting links on my Facebook page!). Please pray for my “launch” and I’ll be back in the swing of things before you know it.

A Day in the Life

Frank

The following are notes from my sermon last week titled “A Day In the Life”. You can listen to it here.

A Day in the Life- from our series of Beatle’s tunes called “Get Back”. I used the song as a springboard for discussion and as the outline for my lesson using Acts 3 as my narrative.

From the song, “Got up, got out of bed, ran a comb across my head…” Are our lives really that different? We all have the same routine: get up, get ready, do what we have to do, come back, go to bed, start over. Our lives fundamentally all look the same. So how do we live a life that stands out, that makes a difference? What does a day in the life of a disciple of Jesus look like?

The song begins with the verse, “I read the news today, oh boy…” The first point is “I read the news today… oh, boy”

-what is our reaction to the news today? Do we get depressed, angry, stressed out?

-Francis Chan “Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives. Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace towards others, or our tight grip of control. Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it’s ok to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional.”

-Just a couple months before what we read in Acts 3, the disciples witnessed Jesus arrested, beaten, and killed. In fear they locked themselves away, unsure of what was going to happen next. But Jesus rose from the dead and appeared to them, giving them confidence to face the world.

–Where do we get our confidence from? -Our response to the news in the world needs to be prayer

–Acts 3 begins with Peter and John going to the temple to pray

–I’m not a prayer warrior. I’m challenged by this quote from Martin Luther, “I have so much to do that I shall have to spend the first three hours in prayer.”

—The “epic quiet time” is an intimidating thought. Sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves to pray. So here’s a tip- pray three times a day for 10 minutes each:

1) In the morning, praying for the day ahead
2) At midday, praying for the here and now
3) At the end of the day, giving thanks for the day that was

-Which is exactly what Peter and John were doing in Acts 3:1. Jews in Jerusalem would go to the temple three times a day to pray: 9 in the morning (see Acts 2), midday, and 3 in the afternoon (or evening in other examples)

-Psalm 55:17 “Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.”

-If we can get in that habit, it’s not too much of a leap to “pray continually” as in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

–rejoice, pray, give thanks / morning, noon, night / three prayers

The middle section of the song begins, “got up, got out of bed…”. The second point is Got Up and Got Out

-we are not called to live a monastic, cloistered life isolated from the rest of the world. The disciples didn’t- they went out. The end of Acts 2 mentions that they spent every day in the Temple courts.

-Acts 3:2-8

–this was their regular routine. We know they went three times a day. We know from chapter 2 that they went every day. We also know from chapter 1 that they lived together. So you have to figure they went the same way, the same time, seeing the same people. The man they met was also there every day and we read later that everyone recognized him. So you have to wonder, how many times did Peter and John pass him by?

-We pass by needs every day. It is hard to break out of our routines to take notice the people we see every day. What a difference it would make to take the time to get to know the cashier that always serves you at the bank, the checker you always see at the grocery store, the beggar you see every day at the same intersection.

–“silver and gold I do not have…” It is easier to throw money at someone’s problem than it is to take the time to get to know them and their need. To quote Gustavo Gutierrez “So you say you love the poor? Name them”

-Peter and John knew that giving this man change would not bring about change. So they offered something that would have eternal impact: “in the name of Jesus of Nazareth…”

–It is Jesus’ name, not our efforts, that has power (v 16). John Stott writes about this verse, “The power is Christ, but the hand was Peter’s.” It takes both. Jesus needs us to be his hands and feet, but we need His power to have a lasting impact (and not get stressed out by relying on our own power).

-Peter and John went about their daily routine, acting in Jesus’ name. Brennan Manning writes, “God is calling each and every Christian to personally participate in the healing ministry of Jesus Christ.” And later, “Jesus said the world is going to recognize you as His by only one sign: the way you are with one another on the street every day.”

-Paul instructs us in 1 Corinthians 10:31 that “whatever you do, do for the Glory of God.”. A.W. Tozer writes about this verse, “Paul’s exhortation to do all to the glory of God is more than pious idealism… It opens before us the possibility of making every act of our lives contribute to the glory of God.”

-every day, every act

–so as you go about your daily routine, ask yourself what you are doing in Jesus’ name for the glory of God. As you get up and get out, consider that there are no small moments, no insignificant actions, and that everything is an opportunity to make a difference in Jesus’ name.

–If you’re afraid, remember Peter who sunk while walking with Jesus on water because of a little wind. Who assured Jesus he would stick by him but gave in to peer pressure and denied him three times. But this same Peter saw the resurrected Christ and “received a spirit of boldness.” Because of this, he would draw a crowd.

The third point plays off the lyrics but mixes it up a little: I Made the News Today, Oh Boy

-When we live our lives in Jesus’ name, people will notice. What do you do then?

–1 Peter 3:15 “But in your hearts, revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.”

–if you’re living your life in Jesus’ name, you need to be prepared to explain why. Why do you make the choices you do? Why do you have the hope that you have?

-Acts 3:12-end

–Peter used this opportunity to share his faith. He was able to share about Jesus because he knew Jesus. He was able to share about the Old Testament promises because he knew them. We cannot share what we do not know.

-how is your Bible study? Can you honestly say that you “know” Jesus? Do you spend time with him, getting to know him, sharing everything with him? Do you know the foundations of your faith so that you can “share your faith” with others?

-if we skip to Acts 4:4 we read that their number grew to 5000. So let’s talk about “sharing our faith”

-imagine Peter and John saying to this man, “silver and gold I do not have, but here’s an invitation for church” or Peter saying to the crowd that gathered, “if you think this was great, come back Sunday at 10:00 and see what we’ll do then!”

–no, Peter shared right then, right there, about Jesus. He didn’t wait- he shared what he knew. He shared about Jesus because it was in His name that this man was healed. It was in His name that Peter and John lived their lives. And it made an impact. When we share our faith, it needs to be more than just an invitation to church, we need to literally share our faith. Who is Jesus to you, what has he done in your life, what is he doing now? Be prepared to give an answer.

-one day, one act, one diversion from their regular routine changed this man’s life forever and saved the souls of 2000 men.

-A.W. Tozer: “Let every man abide in the calling wherein he is called and his work will be as sacred as the work of the ministry. It is not what a man does that determines whether his work is sacred or secular, it is why he does it. The motive is everything. Let a man sanctify the Lord God in his heart and he can thereafter do no common act.” There is no common act when you live your life for the glory of God in the name of Jesus.

What makes A Day In The Life so recognizable is how it ends. An orchestra builds what is called a glissando, building up to a crescendo. Note after note, louder and louder, higher and higher; our lives, if we are living in Jesus’ name are building towards something great. Then unexpectedly John, Paul, George, Ringo pound on pianos in the climax of the song. That last note lasts 42 seconds. What we build will last for eternity.

If we live a day in the life a disciple, in prayer, in action, and in the word.

Some of My Best Friends Are Worship Leaders

Frank

A good friend of mine got married last weekend. At his groom honoring, his best man showed a video slideshow of some of his favorite memories with this brother. Based on the pictures, the groom looked like a pretty fun guy.

Of course I already knew this- he was a worship leader.

I wasn’t in any of the pictures. The narcissist in me always feels insecure at times like these- doubting the depth and value of our friendship- but the reality was that I lived an hour and a half away. As I was watching his pictures- fooling around with mixed martial arts, out on the shooting range, cooking dinner with his buds- I was content to admit that that’s just not me. Does that make me less of a friend? Of course not! But the context of our friendship is different. While the friends in these pictures stood beside him on his wedding day, I was behind the scenes as his wedding coordinator. (I need to be reminded sometimes that I “have the gift of administration” and I fail badly when I try and be something I’m not)

There are different kinds of friends: the goof-offs, the memory-makers, the initiators, the deep all-night talkers; then there are the rocks, those friends who will always be there in any time and any circumstance. I’m embarrassed not to be the former, but I recognize the need for the latter.

When I got married, I told my wife that I was like a faithful old dog- she won’t be able to get rid of me, I’ll follow wherever she goes, and I smell and drool. I think I’m pretty boring; she tells me she was attracted to me because I’m interesting. My daughter thinks I’m funny. I think both are lying to make me feel better (just kidding, I just struggle to see myself that way).

So some of my best friends are worship leaders. I need those friends- the outgoing, the flamboyant, the risk-takers. At the same time they need me- the introvert, the faithful, the reliable.

How would you describe your style of friendship?
Are you comfortable in that role?

God’s Architect

Frank

Did you check out yesterday’s Google doodle celebrating the 161st birthday of Antoni Gaudi? To be honest I had never heard the name so I clicked out of curiosity. And I was completely blown away.

Once upon a time I was into architecture and considered that as a career field prior to college, so reading about Antoni, dubbed “God’s architect”, had be glued to my screen. His masterpiece, if you’re not familiar, is the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona. This basilica (anointed such in 2010; not technically a cathedral since a Catholic bishop does not serve there) began construction one hundred and thirty years ago and still isn’t finished. In fact, it isn’t expected to be finished for several more years. Despite being commissioned in 1882, the Sagrada Familia did not celebrate its first mass until its dedication by Pope Benedict three years ago.

I encourage you to check out this profile from the Christian Science Monitor that came up when you’d click on the doodle. Included is an embedded video from 60 Minutes about Gaudi and the basilica that includes such tidbits as the fact that the highest spire is 3 feet shorter than the nearest mountain because Gaudi didn’t want to upstage God.

What is fascinating about this story is how this one man was so dedicated to a single project all with the intent of glorifying God. This building became his life’s work and his legacy. And since he knew it was so complicated, so grand, that it could not be completed in his lifetime, he built many scale models so that others could complete his work.

About those others: three generations of one family has carried on the legacy; a young architect never returned home after visiting it while touring Europe; a Japanese sculptor converted to Catholicism while working on this project. There is just something captivating about this place and now I feel I must someday visit.

Gaudi wrote, “A church is the only thing worthy of representing the feelings of a people,
for religion is the highest thing in people.” His design is intended to tell the two-thousand year history of the church in a single building. In a culture where we spend millions on churches as monuments to ourselves, such a purpose is inspiring and refreshing.

Was Gaudi Crazy? Maybe. But I think about the Universal Church. While not a physical construction project, we have been works-in-progress since Jesus himself walked this earth. So much today is made of being like the First Century Church that we forget they too were imperfect. God has been refining us, sculpting us, for two millennia. And we’re still not finished.

Paul described the church as being “built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone.” (Ephesians 2:20) He writes elsewhere,

“By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.
 
Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you together are that temple.”
(1 Corinthians 3:10-19)

Our construction is incomplete. You and I are each individual spires in God’s temple, reaching up towards heaven. Reflecting on Antoni Gaudi’s life work, I wonder what it is I am building?

The Jesus Award

Frank

I consider end-of-year awards for elementary-aged kids to be more akin to participatory ribbons, where every child has the opportunity to feel special for something. “Way to go, Johnny, you didn’t send anyone to the hospital this year. You get the most improved bully award!” But when you pray for a child’s character, some awards stand out above all the rest.

When we were expecting our firstborn, we prayed for his (or her, we wanted to be surprised) character. We prayed he would be caring and thoughtful, putting others first. We prayed he would be trustworthy and honest, being a light to the world around him. And we prayed that he would be joyful and a loyal friend, the type of kid everyone would want to be around.

Back in kindergarten, my son received the “caring” award. That, in and of itself, doesn’t sound that impressive, but it is what he did to earn it that I am most proud of. There was a classmate who broke his arm in the middle of the year. While his cast was on, he wasn’t allowed to go out and play during recess (I don’t know if that was from the doctor or the parents) so he would spend recess-time reading or coloring in the office. Not wanting his friend to feel alone, my son would give up his recess time to hang out with him. (Of course this had the added benefit of being able to bring toys in that they could play with together. But oftentimes sacrifice can lead to other blessings.)

“I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.” (Matthew 23:36)

Yesterday, my son won an “honesty” award. Again, the award itself wasn’t nearly as significant as what it was for- he would frequently come to his friends’ defense when another classmate would lie to get them in trouble. (And as much as he liked to argue when he was going through that 4-5 transition period, my wife and I would joke that he’ll make a great lawyer some day.)

Earlier this week I went with my son on a field trip. Besides getting to spend that extra time with him, I was able to watch him interact with his friends. Driving home I asked him, “so of all your buddies, who would you say is your best friend.” His answer surprised me; it was the main troublemaker in class. He continued, “I guess you could say I’m the friend to the bullies.” I asked him why and he answered, “well, bullies don’t have any friends and everybody needs a friend.” Of course I warned him that “bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33) but I did so with tears welling up in my eyes.

What proud parent doesn’t want to boast about their child? But that isn’t what this is about. No, my son convicted me and challenged my faith. His character is an answered prayer, I cannot forget that no matter how hard some days may be with him. But his character also challenges me. Am I willing to sacrifice my time- my playtime- for another? Do I stand up for others, valuing truth over friendships? And do I go out of my way to love my enemies the way that Jesus taught?

Maybe this is what Jesus meant when he said we need to be like little children?

Irons in the Fire

Frank

Have you ever felt like nothing was going on? That you go through your normal routines and nothing seems to change? Then suddenly out of the blue everything seems to happen all at once and you have trouble keeping up. It feels like you have too many irons in the fire.

This happened to me recently. I’ve been blogging now for a majority of my Christian life. Although I started off with dollar signs in my eyes from the yet-to-be-written bestselling book, my focus has changed considerably. For some time now, I have been more interested in teaching than writing. Not that they are exclusive necessarily, but it’s rather the focus of what and why I write.

So to grow in this area I have been debating ministry programs- either degrees or certifications. I’ve wondered about changing my career, possibly to go into Christian counseling (although I admit, I am incredibly blessed by my job which I enjoy very much and have found success in). After about a year of prayer and internal debate, I enrolled in the online program at the Athens Institute of Ministry. No, I won’t be able to put MDiv or DMin next to my name, but I will get certification and quality instruction to grow deeper in my Bible study that hopefully I can pass on to others. I’m almost done with my first class, Old Testament Interpretation and I’ve been loving it so far.

Another prayer, related to my writing and this blog, is to change my book-writing focus from “Christian Living nonfiction” to specific small group study. Although I had a plan to pursue this intentionally, to actually have a completed project by the end of the year, God had other plans for me. I was recently approached (actually not that recently, but time flies) by my church to develop small group curriculum for our entire congregation. So God answered my prayer, just not in the way I thought. (And if you see the frequency of my posts drop, this will be the main reason why)

To add to all of that, in my time blogging I’ve picked up a thing or two about online ministry and social media. We’ve recently started a technology ministry at our church and I sat in on one of the meetings. Naturally, that volunteered myself to help in multiple areas, the latest of which is maintaining my church’s Twitter account and test-running our new Church Management Software.

So it’s funny. All this happened within a month of each other. Meanwhile at my job, other prayers have been answered. Projects I’ve been working on for a long time are picking up steam and I’m increasing in my responsibilities. As if I need more on my plate.

To say I have a lot going on would be an understatement. I have a lot of irons in the fire.

So all this to say, thank you for reading and following my blog. I pray that you find my content helpful in your walk with Christ. And I thank God that this platform as opened up the opportunities it has, although not in the way I ever could have envisioned.

Shelter from the Storm

Frank

In 1999 a tornado struck downtown Salt Lake City. It was unprecedented and unpredicted. Yet locals responded almost instantly with disaster relief. The primary reason was credited to the Mormon Church’s teachings on preparedness. From the AP: “For decades, leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have urged members, which make up about 70 percent of Utah’s population, to stockpile a year’s supply of food as a hedge against the unexpected. Before survivalism was popular, Utah companies sold food in 40-pound bags, 100-hour candles, and water storage barrels. And the church has a silo filled with 19 million pounds of wheat just in case normal distribution systems break down.”

A couple of years ago a wildfire forced several evacuations south of us and a local high school was one of the evacuation centers. That high school was only a mile and half from our church building. it seemed like a perfect opportunity to serve- to deliver food, clothes or blankets or just to be present to provide comfort through prayer. But we did none of that. Why? One, because we weren’t prepared and two, because our church facility isn’t centrally located in the community no one was physically near to respond.

I don’t share this out of disappointment, but rather with the benefit of hindsight to consider what we can learn and what we can do better.

Bobby Ross Jr wrote an article in Christianity Today on the response of faith-based organizations to the tornado that hit Moore, OK. What was fascinating in that post was how different denominations and organizations had their particular niche. You didn’t have twenty different organizations all bringing fresh water; some groups specialized in preparing and distributing meals, others in medical care, others in meeting basic needs of clothing and shelter, and still others specializing in grief counseling.

So what lessons can we learn from Salt Lake City and Moore, OK?

  • Don’t take on too much.

Obviously it is too much to ask a single congregation, no matter how big or small, to do everything. I like how the groups in the article above knew their strengths and didn’t try to grasp beyond their reach. My church and your church need to identify one thing we can excel at and direct our resources there. Is it a food bank? Is it pastoral counseling? Is it manpower to sift through rubble to look for survivors?

  • Have a disaster-plan.

What if an earthquake strikes Sunday morning, do your brothers and sisters know where to go and what to do? If there is a disaster during the middle of the week, does your church leadership know how to reach everyone and is there a centralized meeting location to meet for immediate help? Who is the point-person(s) to contact and coordinate relief?

There are several pieces to this:

  1. Being linked up with the local Red Cross to let them know your church is available for evacuations and registering with the local VOAD (Voluntary Organizations Active in Disasters, mentioned in the CT article above) so that they know you can help and what your resources are on the relief side
  2. Having a current contact list with emergency contacts (out of the area in the case of local disaster) of church members, having specified rendezvous points (because phone lines may be down or jammed with high volume) and having a specific communication plan (who contacts who and how to manage accountability) when it comes to checking on the welfare of the congregation
  3. And having supplies and resources in case of emergency- disaster kits including food and water, medical supplies, and blankets/bedding for those who are hit hardest in your fellowship. Plus it is important to have funds in reserve so that supplies, hotels short-term, or just benevolent hand-outs for those who may have lost homes. (So many churches today operate on a razor thin budget that this may seem impossible, but what would your church do if one or many of its members found themselves homeless due to natural disaster?)

These are just a few tips and are by no means exhaustive. A good article for reference is this article from Leadership Journal.

Yesterday the freeway through town was closed due to a massive sandstorm caused by winds gusting to 60 miles per hour. The winds in Oklahoma reached 200. My house shook. Cars struggled to stay on the road. Yet what we experienced was nothing compared to living in tornado alley. However, we live right on the San Andreas Fault. I joke that when the “big one” hits, we’ll have ocean-front property. Yet personally I don’t have a 50 gallon drum full of purified water. I don’t have gasoline or a generator. I don’t have a year’s worth of non-perishable food in my pantry. If/when a major earthquake shakes our community, will I be prepared?

And if I’m not prepared how can I expect my church to be?

You have been a refuge for the poor,
a refuge for the needy in their distress,
a shelter from the storm
and a shade from the heat.
(Isaiah 25:4)

Bibliophile or Bible-phile?

Frank

I need help. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. I admit, I’m a book junkie. I remember after I became a Christian in college I would spend evenings devouring my Bible and afternoons hidden away in the bookstore browsing titles. Homework, what homework? Besides the negative consequences of slipping grades, the long term effects have also had their impact- overflowing bookshelves pushing away any open space, a cluttered garage filled with boxes of books, stacks of titles on the kitchen table that I insist on leaving out because I’m going to read them eventually, really I am.



Photo credit: Soilse

My latest drug of choice? Free e-books on Kindle. My Kindle App has 37 titles, only four of them read so far. iBooks has another twelve books, or free previews of books. And I just got done ordering three more titles from Amazon. One of those, God’s Favorite Place on Earth by Frank Viola, I got mainly because of the 25 free resources (a few were audio, so those didn’t add to my book count) offered the first week of its release. (I admit, I would’ve gotten this book anyway as I really like Viola and the premise of the book is very intriguing, but the free resources compelled me to buy it when I did. And I wasn’t alone, so many addicts like myself were sucked in by his offer that Amazon actually ran out of copies to ship!)
And then there are the dozen or so unread titles that I’ve purchased on impulse, received to review on my blog, or have been given to me by my enabler friends who know I like to read.

But there’s been another, more serious, consequence: I don’t study my Bible as thoroughly as I used to. I’ve become a bibliophile instead of a Bible-phile. I can tell when it gets bad- I’m irritable, I get writer’s block, I lose motivation, I become critical and I stop praying. I recognize when I’m on a bender. I know my books can’t satisfy my soul the way the Bible can, and drawing close to Him through His Word refreshes my prayer life. Yet I keep going back to my quick fix.

I’m trying to cut back. I can’t quit cold-turkey, although I probably should. I declined the current book study I usually do with some of my blogger buddies. I put back on the shelf many of the books that were stacked up in my kitchen that I was planning to read. I’ve boxed others away. I even got rid of a few a while back.

The thing is, I need focus. I can’t read a half-dozen titles at once. I need to learn how to balance reading for recreation, for education, for edification and for devotion. I have too much on my plate that depends on me getting cleaned up and sober.

So I am focusing on a single book for edification, with two others on the wings for education. I’m cracking open my Bible more (but still not enough) for devotion. And I’d like to think I’m being more productive in my writing.

But what’s that, someone on Facebook posted another Kindle deal? I’ll be right back…

How do you balance your recreational reading with devotional Bible study?
Are you able to read more than one title at a time?

Why Do I Care?

Frank

If you have just stopped by or haven’t read my blog in a while you probably haven’t noticed that I have been on a mental health kick, spurred by the suicide of Rick Warren’s son. What I haven’t talked directly about, although I’ve hinted towards it in my last couple of posts, is why.

First I want to make clear that I’m not trying to take advantage of someone else’s personal tragedy to promote my point of view. Rather, I saw Matthew Warren’s suicide as an opportunity to complete posts that were already half-written and prayed that God could use this event to help others. I’m not alone in this. Adrian Warnock over at Patheos.com has been doing the same. I can’t speak for his motivations, but the way I look at it is if the son of one of the most recognized Christian pastors in America suffered from depression then that means the best-selling author struggled as a parent. And if he struggled, then chances are pretty good others are struggling as well. It would be easier for me to say that since I’m struggling then others probably are too, but that is a self-centered assumption. And although I want to relate and be as open and vulnerable as I can on an open forum such as this, I am very self-conscious not to make this about me.

So how did I get here?

My posts on counseling and depression were originally going to be part of a series of posts as I read through Sheila Walsh’s book, God Loves Broken People: And Those Who Think They’re Not. (Which won’t happen unfortunately, but if those posts resonated with you then I strongly recommend that book)

My post on suicide has been in the pressure cooker for some time, most recently following news of the spikes in military suicides.

And my most recent posts on Autism and ADHD obviously come about from personal experience, but also relate back to the post The Impossible Child over at The Psychotherapy Network. (If you didn’t get the hint in my last post I’ll say it again: if you’re a parent at your wits end YOU HAVE TO READ THIS POST!)

And as I’ve mentioned before, there are still a couple of posts to come.

So that explains the posts, but still doesn’t fully answer the question why I personally care. So deep breath, here I go.


 www.parentingwithhope.com


Yesterday I taught my son’s Sunday-school class. Things were going relatively well when we got to snack time and he started obsessing about a cup of water. I was just about to have him share with the rest of the class from his picture Bible but my wife and I could not bring him down off this obsession. It got so bad we had to remove him from the class. Once class ended and he settled down, it occurred to him that he never did get to share and that spun him up all over again. He calmed down by the time we got home, but the tension and anxiety was still under the surface. So we had another blow up as we were getting him ready for bed. This is just one example from one day.

My son doesn’t fit in any particular category, crossing and blending diagnoses, which makes accommodations extremely difficult. It is hard for him to feel loved and accepted. It is hard for us as parents to be patient and work with him. And my ongoing fear that does at times literally keep me up at night is that this pressure and anxiety will someday lead to something catastrophic.

The numbers don’t help. One article claims that 3.4 percent of the US population has Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and 60 percent of suicide victims suffered from MDD. A study in the Archives for General Psychiatry found that 39 percent of children with ADHD suffered from depression and 18 percent had attempted suicide. Studies suggest that 30 percent of children with autism are also diagnosed with ADHD. Add to that the recent studies that show rates of autism and ADHD are increasing in children.

Link these all together and hopefully you understand how I can jump from depression and suicide in one post to autism and ADHD in the next and why I feel, as a parent, a blogger, and a Christian that I need to share for the sake of others who may feel the same. Yes, a percentage of a percent is a much smaller percent, but I still struggle with that fear. Maybe you do too.

I cannot change my son. I can only trust God and be as open as I can. And if only one person reads these words and finds comfort and hope in them, then this series of posts was worth it.

Not Autistic Enough

Frank

I have a new supervisor at work who calls all of us his Aspergers cats. I guess you could imagine a workplace environment full of Sheldons from Big Bang Theory. While I can see that in many of my coworkers I struggle to see that in myself. Yet I’m not very social, I can perseverate on subjects, I am borderline obsessive-compulsive in my habitual routines, and when things stray from my expectations my world is completely rocked.

These are things I have come to recognize as I’ve gotten older, but looking back I can now see some hints. According to my mom, when I was young parades would scare me- the loud noises would bring me to tears. I remember one Christmas receiving a fireman’s helmet, complete with a light and siren on top, that was the coolest thing in the world. That is, until I turned it on. When I got married, my wife and I lived in a little apartment. One day steam from the shower caused the smoke detector to go off which sent me into a panic attack. (Are you sensing a theme?)

I would consider my social skills and obsessive-compulsive behaviors to be personality quirks. But sensory overload- that I think is a real issue.

You’ll notice I didn’t mention the “A word” in last week’s post, God Made Me Broken [ed. note: this has been sitting in draft so long this used to read “yesterday’s post”- I apologize for the delay getting this out]. At the time we were dealing with my son’s speech issues we worried about how this would affect him socially. The “A word” was always in the back of our minds, with my wife being a special education teacher and me with my quirks. Yet my son would make eye contact and would respond to his name- traditional rule-of-thumb tests in a toddler or preschooler.

But… He had his struggles socially. He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t maintain relationships. He would find things to perseverate on. And he did not adjust well to change. (Sounds a lot like his father). But he managed for the most part. That is, until a little over a year ago…

We noticed at school he was getting into trouble more and his grades were starting to slip. It wasn’t long before it felt like he was tanking school completely. (And there were some environmental issues that contributed, but I won’t go there) Everything seemed consistent with that dreaded A word: Autism.

We went to our medical provider and had him checked out. To be diagnosed for autism, one needs to show deficiency in three areas: social, language, and play. To us, this was a no-brainer. I mentioned his language issues before. But I didn’t mention that as part of getting his IEP (Individualized Education Plan) for speech he was evaluated by a occupational therapist and we concluded that he had Sensory Integration Disorder. This explained why he didn’t like to swim, would only run if he could touch something next to him (a fence or a wall), why he needs his snuggles every night, why he freaks out when his sister orders mac and cheese at a restaurant, and also why he cannot sit still in a chair to save his life. (More on SID at the end of this post…) And his struggles in preschool and kindergarten appeared to be socially related.

In addition to these evaluations he also underwent a series of tests whose score would help determine where on the Autism Spectrum he would fall. My wife and I also had to fill out a form describing our impression of his behaviors and what stimuli would set him off.

When we returned to the pediatric psychologist to hear the results we were eager to finally have an explanation, that we could finally receive the help we needed, that prayerfully someone would finally understand.

But we were wrong. My son scored just short of the limits defined by the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) for autism. (Important note: soon the DSM-IV will be replaced by DSM-V which limits the range of the Autism Spectrum even further, which is subject to much debate.) And he showed that although he had struggles in language skills and sensory processing, he was not deficient socially.

So what was this? I wish I could’ve understood all the psychobabble as the psychologist spoke, but I was too much in shock. I heard Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS, which is a fancy way of saying it looks a lot like autism but isn’t and we don’t know what to call it) and Juvenile Bipolar Disorder which can be confused with ADHD+ (not just ADHD, it’s ADHD Plus!). As he was speaking I was picturing my son, reviewing the tests in my mind, and trying to filter what the psychologist was saying through the definitions of autism as I understood them.

And a light went on.

I should note at this point that I am not a psychologist. I am not an expert in brain development or gene-mapping. In other words, I don’t really know what I’m talking about. But I do know what I’ve seen and it occurred to me that many of these diagnoses overlapped, which explains why autism is so difficult to identify and is often misdiagnosed. Remember the three areas that help define autism- social, language, and play? Imagine any two of the three overlapping: social and language for example and how those behaviors would be different than if language and play overlapped. And I saw a pattern in my head- ADHD, Bipolar, and Sensory Integration are each overlaps of two out of the three. Autism would be an overlap of all three. Again, I am not an expert and this certainly isn’t definitive, but it fit my son to a T.

And sure enough, there was something to this. A few months ago a study was released that claimed there was a genetic link between many of these mental disorders.

Vindication? I wish. My wife and I still joke about our son being “Not Autistic Enough” during good times, and we get discouraged when his teachers cannot understand him, or his diagnosis, during the bad times. We wish we could just slap a (relatively) well-understood label like autism to defend him. We’re still struggling through this and learning a lot. And yes, this means there is another post (or two) coming.

I mentioned I was going to revisit Sensory Integration Disorder. This was another revelation for us as parents. It explained so much and helped us immensely. A a parent, if you’ve never heard of this and cannot figure out what is wrong with your child, I’d recommend checking out The Out of Sync Child. I also recommend everyone read this article, The Impossible Child, from the Psychotherapy Network. It is long, but necessary to help understand what these kids and their parents fight through. To be perfectly honest, the first time I read this article I cried because that was me narrating. That was my son being described. Maybe it will also shed some light for you. And like I said, I still have a lot to say about this, so I encourage you to come back (and I promise it won’t be so long between posts this time!)