love

How are you doing…?

Frank

(forgive the typos, I’m thumbing this in on my mobile)

How are you doing? That’s a question that sets us right up to be fake.

How are you doing? With a hammer and nails.
How’s it going? Forward.

My dad would get on his soapbox on this all the time in a kids-these-days kind of way. I don’t blame him, the question is too vague and open ended, leaving limitless possibilities of vague, fake, answers. It is this fakeness that Michael Spencer addresses in chapter 14 of Mere Churchianity, the man who wouldn’t smile.

Christians are almost pre-conditioned on giving the right answer. Just as outside of the church, inside we know better than to answer honestly. Most of the time, we really don’t want to know the truth in someone’s life- their pains or their sins. And when we do sincerely want to know, we don’t know how to ask. We default to the standard “what’s up?” I hate being asked because I am often so in-the-moment to answer
truthfully. How am I that moment? My answer is independent of whether I committed mass-murder the day before, if I’m tip-toeing through the tulips at that moment I’ll answer as though nothing happened.

We put on other masks as well. I was recently in a Christian book store (please don’t hold it against me) to stock up on books and music for a long business trip. The store was semi-busy, and I felt awkward with every other shopper I saw. I assumed they were Christians, so should I have greeted them in a special way as if there’s a secret handshake? If they ask how I am, am I expected to answer, “blessed” or openly confess my sins? So I intentionally kept to myself and didn’t dare look anyone in the eye. But I would sneak a peek or two and I noticed I wasn’t the only one feeling and acting I’m this way.

It is tragic that the Church has developed such a country-club mentality that real vulnerability is rare and awkward, almost unwelcomed. When we are commanded to “bear with one another” and “carry one another’s burdens” such an environment is contrary to Jesus’ expectations of others knowing we are His disciples by our love for one another.

I posted similar thoughts here (http://theoppositepc.blogspot.com/2010/02/love-without-hypocrisy.html) and here (http://theoppositepc.blogspot.com/2010/02/love-must-be-sincere.html). Also check out the discussions by Glynn Young and Nany Rosback at http://faithfictionfriends.blogspot.com and http://nancemarie.blogspot.com/.

Inner Voice

Frank

I have to admire marathon runners. I honestly don’t know how they do it. Despite the physical strength required to run 26.2 miles, mental strength is also required. I can’t seem to concentrate on a single thing for more than a few minutes. Imagine having to focus your thoughts for anywhere from 3-6 hours? Sure, you can plug in your iPod, but that’s a lot of time alone with your thoughts. They say 80-90 percent of “self-talk” is negative. In other words, thoughts like “you can’t do that” or “if only I was like him/her” or “I’ll never…” A weak mind over the course of a race can be bombarded with such thoughts.

When I was younger and actually ran a little (and by little, I mean I sprinted. 400m was “long distance” for me) I read an article in Runner’s World called the “Nine Golden Cheetahs” that has always stuck with me. The story was of an African runner who would run for miles and miles. At some point, he would reach his “wall” where he strength could no longer sustain him, but only by sheer will-power could he reach his destination. He also hit a mental wall where his thoughts failed him. Delirium would set in. It was at this point that he saw nine golden cheetahs staring at him. As he approached, the cheetahs began to run away towards his destination. He was compelled to follow them. The will to follow those cheetahs overcame his pain, his exhaustion until he reached his goal and the cheetahs were gone.

Paul, when describing our adopted relationship with our Lord in heaven, said we received a Spirit that allows us to call Him ‘Abba’. (Galatians 4:6 and Romans 8:15). Abba is an informal term and would have sounded shocking to his Jewish audience. The message being that we have such a close relationship that we can be informal with God. I’ve heard others pray to “Papa” in that same vein.

Yesterday my wife ran a half-marathon. Her second, to add to 6 full. I admire her deeply for the commitment she makes and the strength it takes. She’s found that her “wall” hits right around the maximum distance run during training. But the mental wall can happen at any time. Her mental wall hit with a little over a mile to go. She knew she was close and was making good time. But she saw something out of the ordinary out of the corner of her eye that tripped her concentration. When she tried to regain focus, she heard the words, “you can do it, mija!” coming from somewhere deep inside of her.

Mija is a term much like Abba. It is informal and endearing. But it’s not a word used casually, it is loaded with too much affection. My wife is Latina but she hasn’t been called mija since her grandmother would call her that as a child. That voice was out of the blue and unexpected. But she could feel herself somewhat carried the last mile.

We had a long conversation last night about where this voice could have come from. A distant memory? Did she overhear someone else? Was it God reaching out and giving her a hug? We settled on the latter. We recognize that sometimes God reaches out to us and whispers in our ear. I’ve heard such voices when facing hard decisions. But I have to admit I’ve never had an example so personal, so endearing.

My question this week: Has God ever audibly spoken to you? What did He say?

Summer Love

Frank

You’ve no doubt had one- the summer love. Maybe your intentions were pure, that “after the boys of summer have gone” that love would last longer than a single season. Chances are however, that your summer love was short lived. “Summer lovin’ happens so fast.”

Summer love aches, yet lingers in our memories. Whatever the summer activity may have been- swimming, boating, camping, laying on the beach, we all look back with sentimentality. It’s easy to forget the heartache when you can remember the sunshine. It’s easy to remember the night under the stars and forget the hangover. We can reflect fondly on the fishing trip. Whether or not we caught anything has long since been forgotten.

“Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD.” (Ps 25:7)

Why do we always remember the ‘best of times’ and forget the ‘worst of times’?


What is it about summer that sticks in our memory?

While our memories deceive us, we are tricked into thinking about what might have been. It’s an easy trap to keep us from being grateful for what is. The memory of spending time on my friend’s boat only reminds me that I don’t have one of my own. The summer love has long since gone. “I try not to think about what might have been, ‘cause that was then, and we have taken different roads.”

“These things I remember
as I pour out my soul;
how I used to… “(Ps 42:4)

Do you ever long for the “good old days”? Why?

But what is it about those memories that hang on forever in our minds? The timing must be perfect. Not all summer loves are remembered with fondness. There’s something about a particular time, a particular place that hits during a transformation period in our lives. The journeys from childhood to adolescence and from adolescence to adulthood are special moments. Personally, the soundtrack of my life consists mainly of songs from those periods. Maybe we are most impressionable at those times, making us more vulnerable to the summer love.

I think the love story we have with our Creator is similar. Though “he is not far from each one of us” there are times and places where our hearts are more sensitive and receptive to Him.

“…he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.” (Acts 17:26-27)

How old were you when you reached out and found a relationship with God?


What transformational period was going on in your life at the time (college, marriage, etc)?

There is no greater love story than that between God and his people. So much so that marriage is used as an illustration (some would say a sacrament) of the relationship between God and his people and Jesus and his Church. In fact, the Bible begins with a marriage (Genesis 2) and ends with a marriage (Revelation 19-21). (thanks to John and Staci Eldredge’s Love and War for pointing that out!) But unlike the summer love, God’s love endures forever.

“Oh Lord, where is your former great love,
which in your faithfulness you swore to David?” (Psalm 89:49)

“The word of the LORD came to me…
‘I remember the devotion of your youth,
how as a bride you loved me
and followed me through the desert,
through a land not sown.’ “ (Jeremiah 2:1-2)

“Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.“ (Deuteronomy 7:9)

Are you still madly in love with God? Were you ever?

Summer love is fleeting. So are our lives. “Show me, O LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life.” (Psalm 39:4) So if you find yourself this season longing for a love that will last, look to God, for “God is love” (1 John 4:16) Seek Him and you will find Him.

“I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.” (Proverbs 8:17)

Today continues this summer’s ‘virtual small group’ (VSG in the tags). I hope you come back as I take this season to reflect on the wonders of God’s creation, share vacation stories, etc, with the prayer that we come out of this season closer to God than how we came into it.

R12: Where’s your focus

Frank

(no blog-carnival for me this week, but I encourage you to check out this week’s numerous entries on Grace)

Tonight is the penultimate episode of Lost. I’ve been hooked from day one and I cannot wait to see how it all comes together. I’m not hung up on the theories, though I did go through that phase. I am more interested in the human drama that is playing out, relying on eternal themes of community and redemption.

Since the second season or so, I’ve been following Entertainment Weekly’s Doc Jensen as he speculates on theories, provides background on philosophies and literature name-dropped on the show, and recaps the latest episodes. Over the weekend he posted his thoughts on community with respect to the “live together, die alone” mantra of Lost. Doc postulates that the assumed puppeteer of the show, Jacob, has been trying for who knows how many centuries to figure out how to break the cycle of “they come, they destroy, they kill”. Doc figures that previous attempts to raise up a “candidate” failed because Jacob was working out the means by trial and error, and it wasn’t until after the Others when Oceanic 815 crashed, that he concluded redemption could only be found through sacrifice (Doc argues Jacob deliberately allowed himself to be killed) and community.

I could not shake this idea as I read the most recent chapter of R12: The Book. We’ve been talking about “authentic community” defined as “when the real you, meets real needs, for the right reason, the right way.” This fourth relationship of Romans 12, Serving in Love, concludes with defining the right way.

I think what makes Lost so compelling is how it touches on themes that speak to our very souls. It is not explicitly Christian and I think it intentionally weaves Buddhism, Judeo-Christianity, animism, and numerous philosophies because each are rooted in our innate desire for spiritual purpose. So you could think of Lost as a six season-long, Matrix-meets-Gulliver’s Travels-meets-Gilligan’s Island. Lost resonates with our soul’s desire to belong and have purpose.

Authentic Christian community satisfies this desire, but it needs to happen the right way. Romans 12:12-13 reads, “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” Paul’s literary style in Romans 12 changes from a narrative to bullet-points beginning in verse 9, which is where we begin our study on authentic community. Each bullet then carries its own weight. Be joyful in hope. Happiness is dependent on what is happening but joy is rooted in the eternal hope we have in Jesus. Be patient in affliction. Persevere through the tough times because you have this hope. Be faithful in prayer. Joy, hope, patience, perseverance can only come if we are turning our hearts to God in prayer. This is an upward focus, taking focus off of ourselves. Our selfishness wants to be happy in the moment, complain when times are tough, and rely on our own strength to push through. The first five seasons of Lost have shown us the futility in that thinking. Share with God’s people who are in need. Give sacrificially. Love unconditionally. Practice hospitality. Literally translated, this means to pursue strangers. Don’t just love those who love back, “even the pagans do that” (Matthew 5:47) extend your service to all in need. This is an outward focus. Again, the focus has to remain off of us.

Community. Sacrifice. Eternal themes. Spiritual needs. As Christians, we can choose to “live together, or die alone.” I pray that through authentic community, we won’t be Lost.

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

R12: Where’s your focus

Frank

(no blog-carnival for me this week, but I encourage you to check out this week’s numerous entries on Grace)

Tonight is the penultimate episode of Lost. I’ve been hooked from day one and I cannot wait to see how it all comes together. I’m not hung up on the theories, though I did go through that phase. I am more interested in the human drama that is playing out, relying on eternal themes of community and redemption.

Since the second season or so, I’ve been following Entertainment Weekly’s Doc Jensen as he speculates on theories, provides background on philosophies and literature name-dropped on the show, and recaps the latest episodes. Over the weekend he posted his thoughts on community with respect to the “live together, die alone” mantra of Lost. Doc postulates that the assumed puppeteer of the show, Jacob, has been trying for who knows how many centuries to figure out how to break the cycle of “they come, they destroy, they kill”. Doc figures that previous attempts to raise up a “candidate” failed because Jacob was working out the means by trial and error, and it wasn’t until after the Others when Oceanic 815 crashed, that he concluded redemption could only be found through sacrifice (Doc argues Jacob deliberately allowed himself to be killed) and community.

I could not shake this idea as I read the most recent chapter of R12: The Book. We’ve been talking about “authentic community” defined as “when the real you, meets real needs, for the right reason, the right way.” This fourth relationship of Romans 12, Serving in Love, concludes with defining the right way.

I think what makes Lost so compelling is how it touches on themes that speak to our very souls. It is not explicitly Christian and I think it intentionally weaves Buddhism, Judeo-Christianity, animism, and numerous philosophies because each are rooted in our innate desire for spiritual purpose. So you could think of Lost as a six season-long, Matrix-meets-Gulliver’s Travels-meets-Gilligan’s Island. Lost resonates with our soul’s desire to belong and have purpose.

Authentic Christian community satisfies this desire, but it needs to happen the right way. Romans 12:12-13 reads, “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” Paul’s literary style in Romans 12 changes from a narrative to bullet-points beginning in verse 9, which is where we begin our study on authentic community. Each bullet then carries its own weight. Be joyful in hope. Happiness is dependent on what is happening but joy is rooted in the eternal hope we have in Jesus. Be patient in affliction. Persevere through the tough times because you have this hope. Be faithful in prayer. Joy, hope, patience, perseverance can only come if we are turning our hearts to God in prayer. This is an upward focus, taking focus off of ourselves. Our selfishness wants to be happy in the moment, complain when times are tough, and rely on our own strength to push through. The first five seasons of Lost have shown us the futility in that thinking. Share with God’s people who are in need. Give sacrificially. Love unconditionally. Practice hospitality. Literally translated, this means to pursue strangers. Don’t just love those who love back, “even the pagans do that” (Matthew 5:47) extend your service to all in need. This is an outward focus. Again, the focus has to remain off of us.

Community. Sacrifice. Eternal themes. Spiritual needs. As Christians, we can choose to “live together, or die alone.” I pray that through authentic community, we won’t be Lost.

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

R12: Are you building relationships?

Frank

Real community is when the real you meets real needs for the right reasons in the right way. This follows the outline of Romans 12:9-13. We’ve already talked about taking off our masks and exposing the real you. Now, how do we meet those “real needs”?

Romans 12:10 reads, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Easier said than done. Devoted is a strong word. With respect to relationships within the church, this is more than asking someone, “hey, how ya doin?” It is even more than opening your home to your closest friends. It is more aligned with the love you would have towards your family. In fact, the first sentence is redundant in its original Greek. “Devoted” is translated from the familiar philadelphia, which we often see translated as brotherly love which is instead translated later in the sentence from the root philos. Repetition adds emphasis. So in other words, in case you didn’t get it the first time, I’ll repeat myself. Kinda like saying, “do good by being good.” Philos is the word used for familial love as well as close friendships. Devotion in this case raises our relationships within our church to the same level as family. This verse forces us to ask ourselves to go to the same lengths to serve our brothers and sisters in Christ as we would to serve our brothers and sisters in blood and/or name.

Like I said, easier said than done. How many of your brothers or sisters in Christ have hurt you in some way? We so easily turn our backs on them and those scars never heal. Conversely, we grow up fighting with our siblings, pulling hair, stealing toys, tattling to parents when our sister isn’t staying on her side of the car. We hurt and we get hurt. But we don’t just stop being brother and sister at that point. Sadly, siblings may drift apart as they grow older, but while they are under the same roof, despite the hurt they are still bonded together. We are under the same roof with our brothers and sisters in the faith. Yet we treat them differently. This verse teaches that this should not be the case.

The second sentence is required to fulfill the first. We need to be humble. We need to consider the needs of others ahead of our own. As an aside, this can be dangerous if taken to extremes. One of my biggest weaknesses is to serve to such an extent that I neglect my needs to the point of starvation. I get irritable, withdrawn, and lose whatever motivation I may have had. “But I’m doing it for the Lord! The Bible commands me to live this way!” No, it doesn’t. Others’ needs should be above our own, but not to the point of neglecting ourselves. I’m grateful for one brother who always encourages me to go do something fun for myself because he knows I won’t unless I’m told. My wife has learned this too and will often poke and prod me to do something for myself when she sees me get this way. A better definition instead would be (thanks again to Chip), “serving is giving someone what they really need, when they deserve it least, at great personal cost.” Have you ever served in that way? This isn’t burning yourself out as I am tempted to do. It is sacrificing for the benefit of another. Chip uses the example of helping someone with their rent when he knew he wouldn’t be able to pay his own. It’s easy to give a buck to the person begging for food or change outside of a restaurant after we’ve already eaten our full. What about buying that person a meal with the money you were going to spend on yourself? That is much harder.

A great example of this devotion and honor is illustrated in the movie The Blind Side. Can you imagine taking someone into your home like that? I love the part when Sandra Bullock’s character is getting grilled by her girlfriends. “This isn’t a ‘white guilt’ thing is it?” Then a half-repentant, “that’s great, your changing this boy’s life!” To which Sandra replies, “No, he’s changing mine.” While that sounds hokey and expected in a movie to make a cheesy, sappy point, it is still true. True devotion and honor will change your life. Sacrificing your needs to meet the needs of someone else shouldn’t burn you out. If it does, you’re doing it wrong. Instead it should fill you with a sense of joy in the Holy Spirit knowing you’re doing God’s will.

The best example is obviously Jesus,
“who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!” (Philippians 2:6-8)

“Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:7-8) This death is the foundation of our faith and while it serves to cleanse us of our sins, it also serves an example of how to live. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) This is devotion. This is honor. This leads to authentic community.

Think: What hit home in this chapter?
Reflect: Who comes to mind when you think of someone who has honored you and been devoted to you? How do you feel about them?
Understand: What person or situation are you aware of that would qualify as a real need? Who is hurting who needs help?
Surrender: You may not be the one to meet the need that you listed above; but tell God you are willing to make a real sacrifice to meet that need if that is His will.
Take Action: Get out of your comfort zone and convenient zone this week. Help one person in a way that “really costs you something.”
Motivation: Download the full-length audio message How to Experience Authentic Community at R12 online. [R12 button to the right, serving tab, free resources at the bottom]
Encourage someone: Who has met a real need in your life in the past? Whether it was loaning you money, telling you the truth, helping heal your marriage, or driving your kids to practice… let them know how grateful you are to Christ for them.

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

R12: Are you building relationships?

Frank

Real community is when the real you meets real needs for the right reasons in the right way. This follows the outline of Romans 12:9-13. We’ve already talked about taking off our masks and exposing the real you. Now, how do we meet those “real needs”?

Romans 12:10 reads, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Easier said than done. Devoted is a strong word. With respect to relationships within the church, this is more than asking someone, “hey, how ya doin?” It is even more than opening your home to your closest friends. It is more aligned with the love you would have towards your family. In fact, the first sentence is redundant in its original Greek. “Devoted” is translated from the familiar philadelphia, which we often see translated as brotherly love which is instead translated later in the sentence from the root philos. Repetition adds emphasis. So in other words, in case you didn’t get it the first time, I’ll repeat myself. Kinda like saying, “do good by being good.” Philos is the word used for familial love as well as close friendships. Devotion in this case raises our relationships within our church to the same level as family. This verse forces us to ask ourselves to go to the same lengths to serve our brothers and sisters in Christ as we would to serve our brothers and sisters in blood and/or name.

Like I said, easier said than done. How many of your brothers or sisters in Christ have hurt you in some way? We so easily turn our backs on them and those scars never heal. Conversely, we grow up fighting with our siblings, pulling hair, stealing toys, tattling to parents when our sister isn’t staying on her side of the car. We hurt and we get hurt. But we don’t just stop being brother and sister at that point. Sadly, siblings may drift apart as they grow older, but while they are under the same roof, despite the hurt they are still bonded together. We are under the same roof with our brothers and sisters in the faith. Yet we treat them differently. This verse teaches that this should not be the case.

The second sentence is required to fulfill the first. We need to be humble. We need to consider the needs of others ahead of our own. As an aside, this can be dangerous if taken to extremes. One of my biggest weaknesses is to serve to such an extent that I neglect my needs to the point of starvation. I get irritable, withdrawn, and lose whatever motivation I may have had. “But I’m doing it for the Lord! The Bible commands me to live this way!” No, it doesn’t. Others’ needs should be above our own, but not to the point of neglecting ourselves. I’m grateful for one brother who always encourages me to go do something fun for myself because he knows I won’t unless I’m told. My wife has learned this too and will often poke and prod me to do something for myself when she sees me get this way. A better definition instead would be (thanks again to Chip), “serving is giving someone what they really need, when they deserve it least, at great personal cost.” Have you ever served in that way? This isn’t burning yourself out as I am tempted to do. It is sacrificing for the benefit of another. Chip uses the example of helping someone with their rent when he knew he wouldn’t be able to pay his own. It’s easy to give a buck to the person begging for food or change outside of a restaurant after we’ve already eaten our full. What about buying that person a meal with the money you were going to spend on yourself? That is much harder.

A great example of this devotion and honor is illustrated in the movie The Blind Side. Can you imagine taking someone into your home like that? I love the part when Sandra Bullock’s character is getting grilled by her girlfriends. “This isn’t a ‘white guilt’ thing is it?” Then a half-repentant, “that’s great, your changing this boy’s life!” To which Sandra replies, “No, he’s changing mine.” While that sounds hokey and expected in a movie to make a cheesy, sappy point, it is still true. True devotion and honor will change your life. Sacrificing your needs to meet the needs of someone else shouldn’t burn you out. If it does, you’re doing it wrong. Instead it should fill you with a sense of joy in the Holy Spirit knowing you’re doing God’s will.

The best example is obviously Jesus,
“who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!” (Philippians 2:6-8)

“Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:7-8) This death is the foundation of our faith and while it serves to cleanse us of our sins, it also serves an example of how to live. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) This is devotion. This is honor. This leads to authentic community.

Think: What hit home in this chapter?
Reflect: Who comes to mind when you think of someone who has honored you and been devoted to you? How do you feel about them?
Understand: What person or situation are you aware of that would qualify as a real need? Who is hurting who needs help?
Surrender: You may not be the one to meet the need that you listed above; but tell God you are willing to make a real sacrifice to meet that need if that is His will.
Take Action: Get out of your comfort zone and convenient zone this week. Help one person in a way that “really costs you something.”
Motivation: Download the full-length audio message How to Experience Authentic Community at R12 online. [R12 button to the right, serving tab, free resources at the bottom]
Encourage someone: Who has met a real need in your life in the past? Whether it was loaning you money, telling you the truth, helping heal your marriage, or driving your kids to practice… let them know how grateful you are to Christ for them.

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

R12: What is authentic community anyway?

Frank

Famous last words. The cliche of leaving that last impression, something that will survive history, long after you are gone. Often times, they’re not famous though. They’re honest, open, and heart-melting with an awareness that the end is near. The last thing I said to my grandfather before he died of a heart attack was “see you tomorrow.” Neither he nor I had any idea what the next day would bring. I remember the last words of my father vividly. He, on the other hand, knew that his time left on this earth was short. His last words were filled with a sense of foreknowledge, “you win some and you lose some, but you gotta keep playing.” Even though we were talking about football, I knew what he meant. And he succumbed to cancer two days later.

Jesus, on the last night he spent with his disciples (prior to the resurrection, but they did not see that coming), gave his disciples a command. These last words, which could be expected to resonate throughout religious history, were not about politics (though many of his disciples, especially Judas, expected him to be a political or military leader), were not about the current state of the synagogue/temple or Pharisees/Sadducees, nor were they about church polity. Instead, they were focused on the disciple’s relationship with each other. “A new command I give to you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35) His disciples had no idea a new church, a new religion, would be established following Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection. If they did, they may have expected some “how to’s” for this new movement. Ironically Jesus gave them just that- instructions on how to establish this new church- by loving one another.

This weighed so heavily on Jesus’ heart, it was even the focus of his prayer in John 17. Love. Unity. These were important to Jesus. More than politics, religion, or even a list of pious do-nots. Now look around the religious landscape today. Do you see Jesus’ prayer answered? Do you see his “new command” followed? This was Jesus’ intent for the Church. This is his prayer for our relationships.

This love, this unity, is not only for inside our walls, but should also extend outside our walls. It should exist beyond Sunday mornings. It should be vulnerable and honest. It should show the world that we really are his disciples. As Chip Ingram puts it, “the credibility of Christianity would rise or fall on the basis of Jesus’ followers’ relationships with one another.”

By Chip’s definition: Authentic community occurs when the real you shows up and meets real needs for the right reason in the right way. The next few chapters will show us how.

Think: What did Jesus command and pray for His disciples?
Reflect: Why do you think Jesus made such a point of focusing on our relationships with one another?
Understand: What gets in the way of experiencing authentic community in your life? Too busy? Too religious? Disconnected from like-minded believers?
Surrender: Are you in a meaningful, growing, Christ-centered relationship with a handful of people? If not, will you ask God to show you what you need to do in order to move in that direction… or deepen what He has already provided you?
Take Action: Declare war on isolation adn superficial relationships in your life! Write out John 13:34-35 on a 3×5 card and commit to living it out as God leads you this week.
Motivation: Consider watching the fourteen-minute video message “How to Experience Authentic Community” at r12 online [r12 button on the right, Serving tab, under “free resources”].
Encourage Someone: Make the first move this week. Initiate coffee, dinner, or dessert with someone(s) and talk about your common need/desire for authentic community.

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

R12: What is authentic community anyway?

Frank

Famous last words. The cliche of leaving that last impression, something that will survive history, long after you are gone. Often times, they’re not famous though. They’re honest, open, and heart-melting with an awareness that the end is near. The last thing I said to my grandfather before he died of a heart attack was “see you tomorrow.” Neither he nor I had any idea what the next day would bring. I remember the last words of my father vividly. He, on the other hand, knew that his time left on this earth was short. His last words were filled with a sense of foreknowledge, “you win some and you lose some, but you gotta keep playing.” Even though we were talking about football, I knew what he meant. And he succumbed to cancer two days later.

Jesus, on the last night he spent with his disciples (prior to the resurrection, but they did not see that coming), gave his disciples a command. These last words, which could be expected to resonate throughout religious history, were not about politics (though many of his disciples, especially Judas, expected him to be a political or military leader), were not about the current state of the synagogue/temple or Pharisees/Sadducees, nor were they about church polity. Instead, they were focused on the disciple’s relationship with each other. “A new command I give to you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35) His disciples had no idea a new church, a new religion, would be established following Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection. If they did, they may have expected some “how to’s” for this new movement. Ironically Jesus gave them just that- instructions on how to establish this new church- by loving one another.

This weighed so heavily on Jesus’ heart, it was even the focus of his prayer in John 17. Love. Unity. These were important to Jesus. More than politics, religion, or even a list of pious do-nots. Now look around the religious landscape today. Do you see Jesus’ prayer answered? Do you see his “new command” followed? This was Jesus’ intent for the Church. This is his prayer for our relationships.

This love, this unity, is not only for inside our walls, but should also extend outside our walls. It should exist beyond Sunday mornings. It should be vulnerable and honest. It should show the world that we really are his disciples. As Chip Ingram puts it, “the credibility of Christianity would rise or fall on the basis of Jesus’ followers’ relationships with one another.”

By Chip’s definition: Authentic community occurs when the real you shows up and meets real needs for the right reason in the right way. The next few chapters will show us how.

Think: What did Jesus command and pray for His disciples?
Reflect: Why do you think Jesus made such a point of focusing on our relationships with one another?
Understand: What gets in the way of experiencing authentic community in your life? Too busy? Too religious? Disconnected from like-minded believers?
Surrender: Are you in a meaningful, growing, Christ-centered relationship with a handful of people? If not, will you ask God to show you what you need to do in order to move in that direction… or deepen what He has already provided you?
Take Action: Declare war on isolation adn superficial relationships in your life! Write out John 13:34-35 on a 3×5 card and commit to living it out as God leads you this week.
Motivation: Consider watching the fourteen-minute video message “How to Experience Authentic Community” at r12 online [r12 button on the right, Serving tab, under “free resources”].
Encourage Someone: Make the first move this week. Initiate coffee, dinner, or dessert with someone(s) and talk about your common need/desire for authentic community.

Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

Love Must be Sincere

Frank

To continue from this morning’s post to the blog carnival, let’s look inside our church walls. Here is where the theme for this week, kindness, is most evident. We can fake our way with strangers, but it’s much harder to fake with brothers and sisters in Christ that we see on a regular basis.

Or is it? I would challenge any of you to walk into a church that’s not your own and not come away saying something like, “that congregation was so kind.” Now return to your spiritual comfort zone. Isn’t the same true? Isn’t the Ned Flanders cliche Christian nice? Kind? Sometimes overwhelmingly so! But just like how we treat those outside our church walls, we fake our way with our spiritual peers. I’m sure you’ve had this conversation:

“Hey bro, how are things at home?”

“Oh, you know, alright. The same ole, same ole.”

“Yeah, I hear you. Same with me. Well, I’ll pray for you.”

That sounds kind. But is the love behind it sincere? Remember the literal translation from Romans 12:9 is “without hypocrisy”. When we think of hypocrisy, we often think of outright, obvious sins. But we can also be hypocrites with our lack of openness and transparency, our lip-service concern for one another, and our boastings of our own spiritual maturity.

That’s just one case. Another, more painful, example is how we treat those with whom we disagree with spiritually, or worse those who have left our spiritual family. My fellowship of churches has a bad, but deserved, reputation for how we treat other Christians outside our spiritual clique. I was reminded of this again when my wife was spending quality time with an old friend from campus ministry. She left my church years ago and has been looked down upon ever since. It has been hard for my wife to rebuild that friendship because there was doubt about the sincerity of her love, of her kindness. What was my wife’s motive? Was she trying to goad her friend into returning to church? Or is she herself struggling so much as to spend time with one such as her? Last weekend these questions and more came out and I admire my wife’s maturity in addressing them. She does sincerely love her friend. She has no motive other than to be a friend, though she does have genuine concern for her spiritual health. She was kind.

Another sad example is how we are tempted to “love bomb” new visitors to church, but forget them once they become regulars. Again, this is not sincere and makes our demonstrated love at the beginning nothing but hypocrisy. Are you as excited to see someone new on Sunday morning as you are to see the same faces you have for years? I think about this often as I roam the fellowship on Sundays. I make every effort to greet everyone I know with a sincere “how are you? Great to see you!” And those I don’t know I make sure to greet with a warm smile. I don’t always remember the prayers I say I’m going to pray, but I always remember them as people, not as nameless faces that crowd the pews.

To be honest, I’m not always kind. I have a biting sarcasm that I’m tempted to use to passive-aggressively hurt others. I can be impatient and short tempered. And when that character comes out, the first thing I think of is how I’m not being kind. This is true not just at church, or with non-believers as these posts have been about, but also with my family at home. But no matter what, I always strive to love sincerely, without hypocrisy.

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2)

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)