one another

One Person at a Time

Frank

The driver’s license- symbol of freedom and instant status symbol for a teenager. And once we obtain one, we go and do the most foolish things like volunteering to go grocery shopping for the family. Of course that’s just an excuse to get out on our own, listen to our own music, drive how we want where we want. Naturally when I was a teenager I would take advantage of that as much as I could. I look back on the freedom, the independence, the… selfishness.

I remember distinctly one such outing making a simple grocery run. I was minding my own business, doing my own thing. In and out. I didn’t have to slow down; I didn’t have to talk to anyone. And I probably didn’t. But as I was leaving the store an older woman was coming in. Instinctively I stopped and held the door for her. “Thank you so much, that’s the nicest thing someone has done for me all day.” I was speechless. Holding a door? Remember, she was on her way in, so it wasn’t as if her hands were full. And as I recall it was a typical day- it wasn’t raining or cold. It didn’t mean anything. But it meant something to her.

The reaction to this “random act of kindness” has stuck with me in the 20-ish years since. And it came to mind as I was reading the seventh chapter of Brennan Manning’s The Furious Longing of God, titled ‘healing’.

Manning shares several stories of random (and not so random) acts of kindness- some positive, some negative- but each impacting on my heart. Hearkening back to Jesus’ “new command” Manning writes,

“If we as a Christian community took seriously that the sign of our love for Jesus is our love for one another, I am convinced it would change the world.” (pg 88)

And how to you change the world? One person at a time.

I like how Chip Ingram describes love: “Love is giving someone what they need the most, when they deserve it least, at great personal cost.”

We can all probably come up with a story serving one of the “least of these“. Religiously we may go out of our way to serve the most visible needs in our community. We might even pat ourselves on the back for going above and beyond.

But service- truly loving others- shouldn’t be limited to those opportunities most likely to get our picture in the paper. There was nothing special about the woman I held the door for. She wasn’t in any visible physical need, she wasn’t in a hurry. It was just the nice thing to do. No, scratch that. There was something special about her. She, just like you and I, just like the most wealthy and the most impoverished, just like the most beautiful and the most despicable, was created in God’s image and is worthy of His love.

Manning concludes his chapter asking:

“The question is not can we heal? The question, the only question, is will we let the healing power of the risen Jesus flow through us to reach and touch others, so that they may dream and fight and bear and run where the brave dare not go?” (pg 104)

Consider This

Ask the Father to bring to your mind one person in your life who has administered the healing touch of Jesus to you. Spend a few minutes in gratitude.

Now ask the Father to bring to your mind one person in your life who needs that same healing touch. Take some time and decide on a tangible way you can return the favor.

(Addendum: I wanted to add these links about our inherent value and preconceived perceptions but didn’t have the links handy this morning. The first is a great summary of our identity in Christ by Frank Viola, and the other is an observation on how our perspectives change by Wade Hodges.)

This post continues discussion on Brennan Manning’s book, The Furious Longing of God. Please check out Jason Sasyzsen’s and Sarah Salter’s blogs for more discussion. The “consider this” questions come straight from the book- use them as a springboard for your own thoughts and feel free to share them here.

Attitude of Gratitude

Frank
(picture from Radio Free Babylon)

It was completely coincidental that this strip was up this morning from Radio Free Babylon. But it hits on exactly what I wanted to write about.

It is hard to believe that Thanksgiving is just over a week away. I don’t know where the time has gone. If you find it, please let me know. Anyway, the popular thing to do on Facebook during the month of November is to share something you’re grateful for every day. The first few days are obvious: family, friends, and so on. But as you get closer to Thanksgiving the exercise becomes harder as you really have to put thought into what you’re thankful for.

I admit, I haven’t done this. I’m not going to try and catch up with a list of dozen things with this post. Instead, I want to offer up a different approach.

I really appreciate my friend Dave. If there’s anything the least bit wise that shows up in my posts, you can thank him. His insight into the human condition, faith, and the word is always encouraging and challenging me. But he also has a heart of gold.

He doesn’t wait for November to roll around to give thanks. If he goes to a restaurant and gets great service, he posts about it on Facebook. If he sees someone go above and beyond expectations, he credits them for it. The cynic might look at such posts as trying to curry favor for his business. But he acts the same in private as well. A couple of weeks ago he took his daughter through a fast food drive-through and his daughter thought the cashier at the window was extra nice. So he had her write a letter to the manager to express how grateful she was for the friendly service.

As we were talking the other day, he challenged me to do the same thing. He did so because I have trouble expressing myself. The switch on my emotions read “angry” and “off”. And just like Carl in the comic strip above, much of my anger stems from my own ingratitude and discontentment. He encouraged me to go out of my way and personally, not via a post on Facebook, reach out to others and express my gratitude for the things they do. So far this has been hard, but I’ve discovered several opportunities: the custodial staff at my job (really, how often do they get sincerely thanked?), the driver of my vanpool, the coordinator for my Sunday School curriculum, and several others.

I haven’t done it each day like the posts of Facebook, but at least it’s a start. And I am beginning to see my attitude change- slowly but surely.

Are you stressed out by the coming holidays? Are you worried about the economy or the future of your job? Are you struggling in a relationship? Share an attitude of gratitude and “wipe the snarl off of Carl.”

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
(Philippians 4:6)
 
“I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.”
(Ephesians 1:16)
 
“always [give] thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
(Ephesians 5:20)

.140 Millimeters

Frank

As the days are getting shorter and temperatures are dropping, I expect my kids to come home from school with the sniffles. All it takes is one child in a room full of thirty to sneeze on a hand, touch a doorknob, drool on a toy, or stick fingers where they have no business going to spread germs that ultimately find their way home and require me to take a sick day. (The other night my children kept me up as my daughter suffered through a stuffy head as my son coughed with such fury it could be measured on the Richter scale. How do I feel today? Don’t ask)

But I’m lucky. I have health insurance. I can afford over the counter cold medicine. And my job allows the flexibility to take a sick day now and then. Not everyone is so fortunate.

A month ago at church we had a guest from one of our local school districts describing a need that seemed trivial on the surface, but has significant impact. Her schools represent an underprivileged demographic in our community, so you would expect the need to be school supplies, classroom volunteers, etc. Instead she expressed a single need: tissue.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, 22 million sick days will be taken this year due to the common cold. That’s one day for every other student in America. For an impoverished community, missing school means missing at least one if not two meals, missing being inside with heat during the winter and air conditioning in the fall and spring, having running water if that only means a toilet and sink, and most importantly receiving an education to help raise them out of their socioeconomics.

So my congregation set out on “Operation Bless You” where we took donations of boxes of tissue. Donations of winter coats, backpacks, etc can cost tens to hundreds of dollars. A box of Kleenex at Wal-Mart costs a little more than a buck. Our goal was 1000 boxes. I think we blew that out the first week. I haven’t heard a final number, but even after a couple of deliveries I think we have more tissue than we know what to do with!

.140 millimeters is all it takes to stop a sneeze. This comes to 42 millimeters total in a box (for single-ply laid flat). It isn’t much, but it goes to show that every little bit adds up. .140 millimeters can prevent the common cold. .140 millimeters can keep a child in school one more day where there basic needs can be met.

No effort so small goes unnoticed. Any little act can have big impact. No need is too trivial to meet.

‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’ (Matthew 25:40)

How are you doing…?

Frank

(forgive the typos, I’m thumbing this in on my mobile)

How are you doing? That’s a question that sets us right up to be fake.

How are you doing? With a hammer and nails.
How’s it going? Forward.

My dad would get on his soapbox on this all the time in a kids-these-days kind of way. I don’t blame him, the question is too vague and open ended, leaving limitless possibilities of vague, fake, answers. It is this fakeness that Michael Spencer addresses in chapter 14 of Mere Churchianity, the man who wouldn’t smile.

Christians are almost pre-conditioned on giving the right answer. Just as outside of the church, inside we know better than to answer honestly. Most of the time, we really don’t want to know the truth in someone’s life- their pains or their sins. And when we do sincerely want to know, we don’t know how to ask. We default to the standard “what’s up?” I hate being asked because I am often so in-the-moment to answer
truthfully. How am I that moment? My answer is independent of whether I committed mass-murder the day before, if I’m tip-toeing through the tulips at that moment I’ll answer as though nothing happened.

We put on other masks as well. I was recently in a Christian book store (please don’t hold it against me) to stock up on books and music for a long business trip. The store was semi-busy, and I felt awkward with every other shopper I saw. I assumed they were Christians, so should I have greeted them in a special way as if there’s a secret handshake? If they ask how I am, am I expected to answer, “blessed” or openly confess my sins? So I intentionally kept to myself and didn’t dare look anyone in the eye. But I would sneak a peek or two and I noticed I wasn’t the only one feeling and acting I’m this way.

It is tragic that the Church has developed such a country-club mentality that real vulnerability is rare and awkward, almost unwelcomed. When we are commanded to “bear with one another” and “carry one another’s burdens” such an environment is contrary to Jesus’ expectations of others knowing we are His disciples by our love for one another.

I posted similar thoughts here (http://theoppositepc.blogspot.com/2010/02/love-without-hypocrisy.html) and here (http://theoppositepc.blogspot.com/2010/02/love-must-be-sincere.html). Also check out the discussions by Glynn Young and Nany Rosback at http://faithfictionfriends.blogspot.com and http://nancemarie.blogspot.com/.

Sweet Devotion

Frank

Two weeks ago, the theme scripture in my Sunday School class was from Acts 2, “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.” (Acts 2:42) We spent a majority of our time discussing what “devoted” means, and with Valentine’s Day only a couple of weeks away it was easy to relate to committed loving relationships.

I’m devoted to my wife. My third and fourth graders are likewise devoted to their parents. I do things for my wife, not because I have to but because out of devotion I want to. Similarly, my students should obey their parents (always a point I stress, no matter the topic) not because they have to, but because of their love for them. This is devotion. A sacrificial, selfless, willingness to do anything or go anywhere for the object of our devotion.

Our devotion to our brothers and sisters in the church should have the same level of commitment, even if it doesn’t share the same level of love. “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” (Romans 12:10)

Think about the lengths you went (or will go) to to show your devotion to the one you love for Valentine’s Day this year. Are you willing to go the same lengths for your brothers and sisters in Christ? No, you don’t need to give the guy in the pew next to you a box of chocolates. But a hug would be nice. “Greet one another with a holy kiss” if you are so bold (Romans 16:16, 1 Corinthians 16:20, 2 Corinthians 13:22, 1 Thessalonians 5:26). But at least have the willingness in your heart to lay down you life for him.

“No greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

(For last years thoughts on Valentine’s Day, go here)

Sweet Devotion

Frank

Two weeks ago, the theme scripture in my Sunday School class was from Acts 2, “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.” (Acts 2:42) We spent a majority of our time discussing what “devoted” means, and with Valentine’s Day only a couple of weeks away it was easy to relate to committed loving relationships.

I’m devoted to my wife. My third and fourth graders are likewise devoted to their parents. I do things for my wife, not because I have to but because out of devotion I want to. Similarly, my students should obey their parents (always a point I stress, no matter the topic) not because they have to, but because of their love for them. This is devotion. A sacrificial, selfless, willingness to do anything or go anywhere for the object of our devotion.

Our devotion to our brothers and sisters in the church should have the same level of commitment, even if it doesn’t share the same level of love. “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” (Romans 12:10)

Think about the lengths you went (or will go) to to show your devotion to the one you love for Valentine’s Day this year. Are you willing to go the same lengths for your brothers and sisters in Christ? No, you don’t need to give the guy in the pew next to you a box of chocolates. But a hug would be nice. “Greet one another with a holy kiss” if you are so bold (Romans 16:16, 1 Corinthians 16:20, 2 Corinthians 13:22, 1 Thessalonians 5:26). But at least have the willingness in your heart to lay down you life for him.

“No greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

(For last years thoughts on Valentine’s Day, go here)