R12

R12: Are you tired of trying hard and feeling guilty?

Frank

***Thanks to Google searches, the post here that has gotten the most hits is from my series studying the book Living On The Edge by Chip Ingram on “why is the Christian life so difficult?” (Until more recently when my post, Label or Content answered the question that everyone seems to be asking: is Carolina Liar a Christian band? They’re not, for the record.) A follow-up post titled “are you tired of trying hard and feeling guilty” (the titles are straight from the book) has recently been the target of spammers, receiving roughly one hundred comments in the past two weeks. When the most comments I typically see is 3 or 4, I knew something must be up. So I’m deleting it reposting the main content (minus the book Q&A) here.***

We have to remind ourselves of the context of the Book of Romans. Rome, home of pagan polytheism, infanticide, political corruption, the decay of traditional marriage, slavery, and murder for sport. As the Church grew in Rome they were the objects of severe persecution, discrimination, and in many cases outright murder. They had the reputation of saving abandoned babies, caring for the “the poor, the orphan, and the widow”, for separating themselves from the corruption around them, and for being joyful doing so. To them, the commands in the Bible (not yet established as Canon) were not a list of “to dos” or “s’pozdas”, but were a way of life.

Some time ago, a teen my wife and I were close to told us that he didn’t want to be a disciple of Jesus because he didn’t want to miss all the fun. That’s what Christianity has been reduced to for many- missing all the fun. Why? Chip writes,

“I am convinced that most of us have relied on willpower, self-effort, and religious activities in our attempts to live a holy life. And eventually when we figure out that those things don’t work, we do one of two things: we start faking that we’re holy and develop lives of duplicity and hypocrisy [(boy, we never hear that criticism of Christianity, do we?)], or we simply agree with one another that “the bar of holiness” is too high.”

Let’s get this out of the way: Spiritual growth does not equal trying hard! Let me say again, spiritual growth d.n.e. trying hard! For you computer programmers, spiritual growth != trying hard! More, from the book:

  • Spiritual growth does not begin with focusing on behavior.
  • Spiritual growth does not even begin with focusing on our attitudes.
  • Spiritual growth always begins by focusing on our thinking.
  • Spiritual growth is accomplished by the Spirit of God, through the Word of God, in the context of authentic community, for the purpose of glorifying God.
  • Spiritual growth demands that we by faith appropriate the grace of God given to us through the conduits of His Spirit, His Word and His people.

And it all requires us to “be transformed by the renewing of [our] minds.” We have to change how we think about holiness, about sin, about the World, and most importantly about our relationship with God. It starts with the last one and works up the list from there. I’ve already spent several posts on changing how we think about the World, now let’s focus on our relationship with God. Remember Romans 12 begins, “Therefore, in view of God’s mercy…”

I consider marriage to be a sacrament. As a disclaimer, I was raised Catholic and the fellowship of churches of which I now belong isn’t much for the definition of sacraments. But I consider them to have utmost spiritual importance because they are physical things, living symbols if you will, of spiritual truths. Marriage falls into this category as symbolic of the relationship between Jesus and his Church (Ephesians 5:32). Reverse the analogy. When you’re not getting along 100% with your spouse, do you suddenly decide that you’re no longer married? Do you stop being married when a younger person of the opposite sex catches your eye and maybe that eye lingers a little too long? Does the marriage end when your spouse doesn’t do exactly what you think he/she should? (that one actually does happen too often) Do you stop being married if you feel like you don’t measure up? Do you stop being married if you don’t do the dishes one night? Of course not. But this is how we treat the Church. So many give up and quit because they slip up, or there’s friction in a relationship, or they don’t think they can ever be as holy as the person in the pew next to them. And we all feel the same way when we fully commit ourselves to God that we do when we choose to get married- this is it, this is for life. Or at least, that’s how we should feel.

Thankfully marriage isn’t as fickle as our church. But why do we treat our relationship with God this way? After all, isn’t the church just a group of people who all want to have the same relationship with God? If it’s more, you’ve made it to be more than it was ever intended. The church is a means to build one another up, strengthen one another, teach one another. And that is all. If you say your a Catholic, Baptist, Pentecostal, or whatever and that description has nothing to do with your relationship with God, you need to check your motivations for being part of your church. Sorry to go there, but so many go to the church they do, or say they are the brand of Christianity they do because of no other reason than that’s what they’ve always been. And we’re surprised spiritual growth is so rare in the American Church (TM).

We need to change how we think. About church, about the spiritual disciplines, about our relationship with God. The Bible is full of commands. Not “to dos”, but “will do because I love God so much”. Until our minds change to accept that, we will forever be stuck spiritually. We will always resent deep down, maybe even subconsciously, Christianity because it is robbing us of our “fun”.

Finally, again from the book:

“Can you imagine the freedom that you will begin to experience when you break
free from the performance-oriented Christian life where the focus on duty,
attendance, spiritual disciplines, tithing, and guilt management with regard to
all the things “you are supposed to do”? It’s not that these things in and of
themselves are bad, but for millions of Christians they’ve become little more
than attempts at behavior modification accomplished through self-will and the
energy of the flesh.”

So how do we do it? We need to change what goes into our mind to renew our mind.

  1. Hear God’s Word (Romans 10:17)
  2. Read God’s Word (Revelation 1:3)
  3. Study God’s Word (2 Timothy 2:15)
  4. Memorize God’s Word (Psalm 119:9)
  5. Meditate on God’s Word (Joshua 1:8)

And stop trying so hard.

    Save Your Life

    Frank

    So a couple of weeks ago, I played “All In” by Lifehouse to kick off my small group’s study of Chip Ingram’s Living on the Edge. Well, our study slipped a few weeks, but we’re picking it back up tonight. Not much more to add to that post other than another song to make the point. As I mentioned in “All In”, the idea of total surrender to Christ seems foreign in mainstream Christianity. This song is still growing on me, but there’s a lyric that keeps jumping out and grabbing me: “If you surrender, you will live… It’s gonna save your life”.

    Here’s “Save Your Life” by Newsboys.

    All-In

    Frank

    I’m not much of a poker player. I can’t keep a stone-cold face to hide whether my hand is good or bad. And I don’t have much of a betting strategy. But I like to play. Maybe more so, I like to watch. There’s just something about watching pros at the table playing a game of wits, wondering what they are going to do next. I know it’s not for everybody, but I get a kick out of the tension and the drama, especially when someone decides to go all-in.

    All-in. At that moment you are totally committed to your course. There’s no turning back. You either survive to fight another hand or you are knocked out. So you just hope beyond hope that you’re holding the better hand.

    The dramatic made-for-TV reaction when going all in, is the player who stands up, steps back from the table and takes off either their hat or sunglasses. They dramatically hop around anxious for the results. And really, there’s no reason to stay at the table. At that point, there’s nothing more they can do but await the outcome.

    I think a missing piece to modern-day Christianity is the notion of surrender. Going all-in, fully committed to Christ, with no turning back. Instead we subscribe to a casual faith from which flows a casual commitment. Consider Jesus’ own words:

    “Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? 32 If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace.” (Luke 14:31-32)

    And then the kicker:

    “In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.” (v 33, emphasis added)

    My small group has completed Francis Chan’s Crazy Love and now we’re moving on to Chip Ingram’s Living on the Edge. Surrender/going all-in is a significant theme of this book, as it digs into the example of discipleship described in Romans 12. I’m not going to blog on it week-by-week as I did with Crazy Love because I already did so last year. Check out the R12 tag for those posts.

    I believe there’s a hunger in mainstream Christianity for something more… Christ-like. Almost daily this site gets hit on Google searches related to R12. Most frequently questions like, “why is Christianity so hard?” or “what does it mean to surrender to Christ?” It is sad that many cannot answer these fundamental questions (it’s not supposed to be and I’d love to sit down, open up the Bible and show you). I pray reading this blog leads some to the answers they seek. I pray also it calls each of us higher, away from casual complacency towards all-in surrender.

    R12: Hindsight

    Frank

    So after (what felt like) sprinting through the Living on the Edge book, I wanted to look back at what worked and what didn’t. My motivation for structuring this “virtual small group” the way I did was twofold: one, I believe in the message and I wanted to get it out; and two, I wanted to see if this was an effective medium for delivering this message. In other words, I cared about this and I wanted to know if anyone else did either.

    Bad news first. What didn’t work:

    • Length: It wasn’t my intention to rewrite the book, which I effectively did with each post. But I wanted to get more in-depth than just a review. Honestly, I would read a chapter, sit down at the keyboard, and whatever came out was what you saw. There was some early criticism of the length, but I wanted to be thourough enough that someone could participate without having the book and those who were compelled to pick it up, would have an additional perspective to deepen their convictions.
    • Pace: This goes with length. Posting daily thoughts on each chapter might have been more palatible if each post were shorter. I kept the pace I did because each chapter was short, and if I followed the standard one-chapter-a-week pace, it would’ve taken half a year to complete. Both length and pace were a drain on me and I’m sure they were on the reader as well.
    • The R12 videos: My original plan was to link the videos on Facebook and use that as a springboard for discussion there. Instead, I couldn’t embed those videos and Facebook was defaulted as another link to this blog.
    • The LOTE Facebook page: After an initial positive response to the idea, I posted (mostly) regular discussion points on Living On the Edge’s Facebook page. I didn’t get a single reply once I got started, though I did gain a couple of followers that way.
    • Facebook and Twitter: My experience was that I only got a few “hits” from these social media sites. So I can’t say either increased my traffic (which wasn’t necessarily my goal, but was a metric of how interested others were in this topic).
    • MOTIVE ME: These were pulled straight from the book and I was hoping they would initiate discussion. They didn’t and I am guilty myself of not following through on some of the actions that should have followed each chapter to deepen convictions. In other words, I wrote about it a lot, but I failed to put my own words into practice.

    What worked:

    • Facebook and Twitter: While they didn’t increase traffic, I had some good discussions on Facebook and I gained several followers on Twitter. What is encouraging was that many of my new followers on Twitter are involved in some form of addiction ministries, which tells me I hit a nerve there.
    • Su.pr: I used su.pr to link my posts up on Twitter which would then update my Facebook page. I used Network Blogs to also update my Facebook status so FB got hit twice. But while I didn’t get many hits via Twitter or Facebook, I got a lot of traffic from StumbledUpon. I gained over 30 new followers and averaged over 40 hits (which is huge for me) on each post just from StumbledUpon.
    • Most commented: On Facebook, ironically a post that I failed to copy a link to this blog, I asked “Do you blame others for who you are? Do you blame God?” That struck a nerve with a few friends and there was a (by my standards) lengthy debate that followed on nature versus nurture.
    • Most retweeted: From Twitter, What does a Surrendered Life Look Like? And from StumbledUpon, both Are you Ready to See God Do the Impossible? and Will You Let Christ Heal You? (via the clever tweet: cursing the bird does not clean the windshield)
    • Most clicked: Are you Ready to See God Do the Impossible?

    So, what’s next? I need to back off the daily grind of posting, though I didn’t intend to fall completely off the net last week. Expect to see 3-4 posts a week returning to my roots of posting commentary on current events mixed with some “deep thoughts” I gain along the way. I also attended a writer’s conference a couple of weeks ago, and I need to take that side of my writing more seriously. Hopefully I’ll have good news to share in the future with this venture. I’m also going to take this blog to the next level (step two in my three-year plan) so look for updates hopefully soon.

    I’m likely not going to do a chapter-by-chapter study of another book. But I do plan on using books to spring off studies. While I need to catch up on other reading, I also have a backlog of books that I wouldn’t have if not for this blog. I owe a review of John and Staci Eldredge’s Love and War, thanks to Kevin Martineau I have the book Transforming Church in Rural America by Shannon O’Dell, and thanks to Peter Pollock (a long time ago) I have If God were Real by John Avant. The latter two scratch an itch that will turn into a study series down the road.

    Thanks for participating in my study. Hope you stick around. Finally, for you, the reader, what worked for you and what didn’t? Please give feedback so our next study will be even better!

    R12: Hindsight

    Frank

    So after (what felt like) sprinting through the Living on the Edge book, I wanted to look back at what worked and what didn’t. My motivation for structuring this “virtual small group” the way I did was twofold: one, I believe in the message and I wanted to get it out; and two, I wanted to see if this was an effective medium for delivering this message. In other words, I cared about this and I wanted to know if anyone else did either.

    Bad news first. What didn’t work:

    • Length: It wasn’t my intention to rewrite the book, which I effectively did with each post. But I wanted to get more in-depth than just a review. Honestly, I would read a chapter, sit down at the keyboard, and whatever came out was what you saw. There was some early criticism of the length, but I wanted to be thourough enough that someone could participate without having the book and those who were compelled to pick it up, would have an additional perspective to deepen their convictions.
    • Pace: This goes with length. Posting daily thoughts on each chapter might have been more palatible if each post were shorter. I kept the pace I did because each chapter was short, and if I followed the standard one-chapter-a-week pace, it would’ve taken half a year to complete. Both length and pace were a drain on me and I’m sure they were on the reader as well.
    • The R12 videos: My original plan was to link the videos on Facebook and use that as a springboard for discussion there. Instead, I couldn’t embed those videos and Facebook was defaulted as another link to this blog.
    • The LOTE Facebook page: After an initial positive response to the idea, I posted (mostly) regular discussion points on Living On the Edge’s Facebook page. I didn’t get a single reply once I got started, though I did gain a couple of followers that way.
    • Facebook and Twitter: My experience was that I only got a few “hits” from these social media sites. So I can’t say either increased my traffic (which wasn’t necessarily my goal, but was a metric of how interested others were in this topic).
    • MOTIVE ME: These were pulled straight from the book and I was hoping they would initiate discussion. They didn’t and I am guilty myself of not following through on some of the actions that should have followed each chapter to deepen convictions. In other words, I wrote about it a lot, but I failed to put my own words into practice.

    What worked:

    • Facebook and Twitter: While they didn’t increase traffic, I had some good discussions on Facebook and I gained several followers on Twitter. What is encouraging was that many of my new followers on Twitter are involved in some form of addiction ministries, which tells me I hit a nerve there.
    • Su.pr: I used su.pr to link my posts up on Twitter which would then update my Facebook page. I used Network Blogs to also update my Facebook status so FB got hit twice. But while I didn’t get many hits via Twitter or Facebook, I got a lot of traffic from StumbledUpon. I gained over 30 new followers and averaged over 40 hits (which is huge for me) on each post just from StumbledUpon.
    • Most commented: On Facebook, ironically a post that I failed to copy a link to this blog, I asked “Do you blame others for who you are? Do you blame God?” That struck a nerve with a few friends and there was a (by my standards) lengthy debate that followed on nature versus nurture.
    • Most retweeted: From Twitter, What does a Surrendered Life Look Like? And from StumbledUpon, both Are you Ready to See God Do the Impossible? and Will You Let Christ Heal You? (via the clever tweet: cursing the bird does not clean the windshield)
    • Most clicked: Are you Ready to See God Do the Impossible?

    So, what’s next? I need to back off the daily grind of posting, though I didn’t intend to fall completely off the net last week. Expect to see 3-4 posts a week returning to my roots of posting commentary on current events mixed with some “deep thoughts” I gain along the way. I also attended a writer’s conference a couple of weeks ago, and I need to take that side of my writing more seriously. Hopefully I’ll have good news to share in the future with this venture. I’m also going to take this blog to the next level (step two in my three-year plan) so look for updates hopefully soon.

    I’m likely not going to do a chapter-by-chapter study of another book. But I do plan on using books to spring off studies. While I need to catch up on other reading, I also have a backlog of books that I wouldn’t have if not for this blog. I owe a review of John and Staci Eldredge’s Love and War, thanks to Kevin Martineau I have the book Transforming Church in Rural America by Shannon O’Dell, and thanks to Peter Pollock (a long time ago) I have If God were Real by John Avant. The latter two scratch an itch that will turn into a study series down the road.

    Thanks for participating in my study. Hope you stick around. Finally, for you, the reader, what worked for you and what didn’t? Please give feedback so our next study will be even better!

    R12: Are you ready to see God do the impossible?

    Frank

    The bottom line, to supernaturally respond to evil with good is found in the concluding lines of Romans 12, “Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good.” Does this work? Absolutely! Though it does not prevent evil, remember we live in a fallen world, it does ensure that we are qualified to be Christ’s ambassadors to this world. The goal is not to rid the world of evil, but change our hearts and minds such that goodness permeates through every facet of our life such that the label ‘Christian’ or ‘little Christ’ truly applies.

    Just as goodness should reign in every facet of our lives, in our thoughts and attitudes, it should also be apparent in our relationships as well. Recall that in this book, Romans 12 was divided into the following relationships: God (v 1), the world (v 2), ourselves (v 3-8), the Church (v 9-13), and our enemies (v 14-21). Overcoming evil with good can and should be applied to each of these.

    To close out this final relationship, I want to call to mind the following scriptures to remind us and encourage us that we have someone fighting on our side that cannot be defeated. The battle is already won and Christ is the victor!

    “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7)

    “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

    “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)

    “Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (Hebrews 4:14-16)

    Think: What does it mean to be an r12 Christian?
    Reflect: How has this r12 journey impacted your life?
    Understand: Of the five relationships we have studied together, in which of these have you seen the greatest spiritual growth? In which area do you need the most help in becoming more like Christ?
    Surrender: Surrender is a point in time and also a life-long journey. How would you describe your present relationship with God?

    • I’m all in!
    • I’m holding back just a little.
    • I need help, I’m stuck with…

    Take Action: This book is just the beginning of becoming an r12 Christian.
    Motivation: If you commit to becoming an r12 disciple maker, go to r12 online and explore our free resources to help you disciple others. [follow the r12 button on the right and explore from there]
    Encourage Someone: Encourage someone you know in another city who wants to grow. Send them a copy of this book and coach them or do the study with them.

    Today concludes our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

    R12: Are you ready to see God do the impossible?

    Frank

    The bottom line, to supernaturally respond to evil with good is found in the concluding lines of Romans 12, “Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good.” Does this work? Absolutely! Though it does not prevent evil, remember we live in a fallen world, it does ensure that we are qualified to be Christ’s ambassadors to this world. The goal is not to rid the world of evil, but change our hearts and minds such that goodness permeates through every facet of our life such that the label ‘Christian’ or ‘little Christ’ truly applies.

    Just as goodness should reign in every facet of our lives, in our thoughts and attitudes, it should also be apparent in our relationships as well. Recall that in this book, Romans 12 was divided into the following relationships: God (v 1), the world (v 2), ourselves (v 3-8), the Church (v 9-13), and our enemies (v 14-21). Overcoming evil with good can and should be applied to each of these.

    To close out this final relationship, I want to call to mind the following scriptures to remind us and encourage us that we have someone fighting on our side that cannot be defeated. The battle is already won and Christ is the victor!

    “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7)

    “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

    “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)

    “Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (Hebrews 4:14-16)

    Think: What does it mean to be an r12 Christian?
    Reflect: How has this r12 journey impacted your life?
    Understand: Of the five relationships we have studied together, in which of these have you seen the greatest spiritual growth? In which area do you need the most help in becoming more like Christ?
    Surrender: Surrender is a point in time and also a life-long journey. How would you describe your present relationship with God?

    • I’m all in!
    • I’m holding back just a little.
    • I need help, I’m stuck with…

    Take Action: This book is just the beginning of becoming an r12 Christian.
    Motivation: If you commit to becoming an r12 disciple maker, go to r12 online and explore our free resources to help you disciple others. [follow the r12 button on the right and explore from there]
    Encourage Someone: Encourage someone you know in another city who wants to grow. Send them a copy of this book and coach them or do the study with them.

    Today concludes our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

    R12: Could you be ‘playing God’?

    Frank

    “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” In other words, don’t act in the heat of the moment. The Bible gives us similar instruction in Romans 12:17, “Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.” This is a passage easily taken out of context. At first blush, it looks as though it is instructing us to be people pleasers. But this sentence follows another in verse 17, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil.” And recall the context of the last three chapters- how do we respond to the evil aimed at us and the hurt caused?

    “Be careful” can be literally translated as “think about” or “consider”. In other words, we need to be conscious of our motives. We need to think before we act. We must ask ourselves what is driving this desire to repay evil for evil, confront that motive, and give it up to God. We need to be careful.

    But this is also a two-way street. The NASB translation of the second sentence in verse 17 reads, “Respect what is right in the sight of all men.” The lesson in Plato’s Protagoras is that “all things are true for him who believes it.” It is logically impossible to believe in something you know is false. The same is true for our behavior. If someone is acting out and causing harm, the sad truth is that is what he or she knows is right in their eyes. In this do-anything-to-get-ahead world, most people think it perfectly ok to lie, cheat, or steal their way to the top. They may have lines they will not cross, but their morals are defined by the world. We need to recognize this, and therefore not be surprised when someone runs us over as they are speeding to the front of the line.

    To drive the point home, verse 17 is followed up with, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” This drives a stake through the heart of the “doormat Christian” mentality. If it is possible. It may not be possible and it may not be right. If the evil aimed at us is illegal, or physically abusive, it is not possible. This verse is not encouraging us to be doormats. At the same time it also reads, “as far as it depends on you…” Much of the hurt caused us has nothing to do with us. We don’t encourage it, we don’t invite it. We are literally victims and that hurt does not depend on us.

    If this is hard to swallow, let me paraphrase these two verses: “Don’t be the one to start trouble. Work for peace in your relationships.” Don’t start it.

    Don’t finish it either. Verses 19-20 instruct us to not seek revenge. Why? Don’t we cheer for the hero of the story that does everything possible to make sure the bad guys get what’s coming to them? Sure we do. But most of us aren’t movie stars or action heroes. And when we seek revenge, when we desire payback, we are telling God that we don’t trust his justice. “It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord.” Vengeance, meting out justice, is God’s job. It is hard to let things go trusting in God’s judgement. We may not see justice in this life, so we are robbed of that sense of closure. So it requires faith to let God do what He does. When we seek revenge or pay someone back for what they’ve done to us, we are putting ourselves ahead of God, in His place. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

    Finally, we have to remember Romans 12 is about personal relationships. We’re not talking about war or crime in these cases. The focus is on what we can do to be like Christ in all our relationships, good and bad.

    Think: Why does God prohibit personal retaliation or revenge?
    Reflect: What happens when we pay back evil for evil? When have you done that? What were the results?
    Understand: How can you afford to let “people off the hook”? What is God’s role? His promise?
    Surrender: Ask God to help you turn over “justice” to Him. Pray this week, fully releasing any desire for “payback” and turn the person who has wronged you and all outcomes over to God.
    Take Action: Stop saying, thinking, or hoping bad things about your enemy. Don’t let these words come out of your mouth and refuse to let them linger when they come into your mind.
    Motivation: Consider memorizing Romans 12:19-21. Read it or say it aloud every time you’re tempted to let vengeful thoughts linger or you catch yourself saying something negative about a person.
    Encourage Someone: Think of someone at church, work, or in the neighborhood who has been treated even more unfairly or harshly than you. Ask God to show you a tangible way to provide support to them- a note, a gift, a dinner, or a listening ear.

    Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

    R12: Could you be ‘playing God’?

    Frank

    “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” In other words, don’t act in the heat of the moment. The Bible gives us similar instruction in Romans 12:17, “Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.” This is a passage easily taken out of context. At first blush, it looks as though it is instructing us to be people pleasers. But this sentence follows another in verse 17, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil.” And recall the context of the last three chapters- how do we respond to the evil aimed at us and the hurt caused?

    “Be careful” can be literally translated as “think about” or “consider”. In other words, we need to be conscious of our motives. We need to think before we act. We must ask ourselves what is driving this desire to repay evil for evil, confront that motive, and give it up to God. We need to be careful.

    But this is also a two-way street. The NASB translation of the second sentence in verse 17 reads, “Respect what is right in the sight of all men.” The lesson in Plato’s Protagoras is that “all things are true for him who believes it.” It is logically impossible to believe in something you know is false. The same is true for our behavior. If someone is acting out and causing harm, the sad truth is that is what he or she knows is right in their eyes. In this do-anything-to-get-ahead world, most people think it perfectly ok to lie, cheat, or steal their way to the top. They may have lines they will not cross, but their morals are defined by the world. We need to recognize this, and therefore not be surprised when someone runs us over as they are speeding to the front of the line.

    To drive the point home, verse 17 is followed up with, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” This drives a stake through the heart of the “doormat Christian” mentality. If it is possible. It may not be possible and it may not be right. If the evil aimed at us is illegal, or physically abusive, it is not possible. This verse is not encouraging us to be doormats. At the same time it also reads, “as far as it depends on you…” Much of the hurt caused us has nothing to do with us. We don’t encourage it, we don’t invite it. We are literally victims and that hurt does not depend on us.

    If this is hard to swallow, let me paraphrase these two verses: “Don’t be the one to start trouble. Work for peace in your relationships.” Don’t start it.

    Don’t finish it either. Verses 19-20 instruct us to not seek revenge. Why? Don’t we cheer for the hero of the story that does everything possible to make sure the bad guys get what’s coming to them? Sure we do. But most of us aren’t movie stars or action heroes. And when we seek revenge, when we desire payback, we are telling God that we don’t trust his justice. “It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord.” Vengeance, meting out justice, is God’s job. It is hard to let things go trusting in God’s judgement. We may not see justice in this life, so we are robbed of that sense of closure. So it requires faith to let God do what He does. When we seek revenge or pay someone back for what they’ve done to us, we are putting ourselves ahead of God, in His place. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

    Finally, we have to remember Romans 12 is about personal relationships. We’re not talking about war or crime in these cases. The focus is on what we can do to be like Christ in all our relationships, good and bad.

    Think: Why does God prohibit personal retaliation or revenge?
    Reflect: What happens when we pay back evil for evil? When have you done that? What were the results?
    Understand: How can you afford to let “people off the hook”? What is God’s role? His promise?
    Surrender: Ask God to help you turn over “justice” to Him. Pray this week, fully releasing any desire for “payback” and turn the person who has wronged you and all outcomes over to God.
    Take Action: Stop saying, thinking, or hoping bad things about your enemy. Don’t let these words come out of your mouth and refuse to let them linger when they come into your mind.
    Motivation: Consider memorizing Romans 12:19-21. Read it or say it aloud every time you’re tempted to let vengeful thoughts linger or you catch yourself saying something negative about a person.
    Encourage Someone: Think of someone at church, work, or in the neighborhood who has been treated even more unfairly or harshly than you. Ask God to show you a tangible way to provide support to them- a note, a gift, a dinner, or a listening ear.

    Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.

    R12:Do you know when you look most like Jesus?

    Frank

    “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” (Romans 12:14) Yesterday we defined “blessing” as desiring God’s best for someone. When it comes to those who have hurt us, we cannot have that desire without first making a decision to forgive. That, by itself, does not fully cleanse our hearts of bitterness, but it begins the process. You may still have negative feelings and attitudes, you are allowed to still hurt, but you decide not to let those feelings rule over you.

    So you’ve decided to forgive and you’re begrudgingly desiring God’s best for this person (by the way, the best way to get to this point is through prayer, prayer, and more prayer), now what? Romans 12 continues, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.” (v 15-16) I’ve always taken these verses as a stand-alone description of our relationships in general, but in context they are commands on how to relate to those who have hurt us.

    It’s one thing to half-heartedly pray for God’s blessings in someone’s life. It an entirely different attitude to genuinely be happy when those blessings come to fruition. This continues the “scrubbing” process in our souls. Of course this is hard and is likely impossible without the Holy Spirit intervening on our behalf, but we are still commanded to have this attitude.

    You’ve likely been here before: you are passed over for a promotion by someone you do not like; there is a promotion party that everyone is invited to; you don’t go. Romans 12:15 commands us to go, put a smile on our face, and sincerely wish the best for this person. How much easier is it to stay behind in your cubicle and allow your hurt to stew.

    Chip Ingram gives other examples in his book that better describe this not from an individual disciple perspective, but from the perspective of the corporate church as a whole. Think of the reputation Christians, or rather our churches, have: judgemental, only wanting our money, corrupt and/or filled with cronyism, full of double-standards, hypocritical, lacking grace, and so on, and so on. Think about the real-life spiritual warfare that is going on outside our churches walls: homosexuality, single parenthood, teenage pregnancy, addiction, and poverty. Are rejoicing with those who rejoice and mourning with those who are mourning in these circumstances? More, are you “willing to associate with” these people? If not, your attitude is not “the same as that of Christ Jesus, who” lived his life among the tax collectors and prostitutes and forgave the very ones who beat, insulted, and ultimately killed him. “By this all men will know you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35)

    Bringing this back home, where if you haven’t faced this situation yet, you will someday: My family is presently suffering the inevitable loss of the family matriarch. On Sunday family from all over came to her house to pay their last respects, share memories and tears, and try to have closure. But beneath the surface ran a current of resentment, competitiveness, and pride. Behind every “how are you doing?” was an unspoken “you don’t deserve your share of the inheritance.” Behind every “I’m glad you were here for her” was the question, “why didn’t you ever call?” I’ve been through this before, and I’ll likely go through it again. It is sad that we let petty grievances prevent us from “mourning with those who mourn.” But this is a real battle in a real situation.

    Regardless of any attitude or feeling, when we, as disciples of Christ, enter into those circumstances, we must obey Paul’s command. If we do, we show the real Jesus to those who may not know him or don’t know him well enough. And “all men will know…” to the Glory of the Father.

    Think: What in this [post] spoke to you?
    Reflect: What aspect of this teaching from Romans 12 was hardest for you to accept? Why?
    Understand: What would it look like in your situation to rejoice (or weep) with the very one who treated you wrongly?
    Surrender: Ask God to show you how he wants you to apply this truth in your life in view of your specific circumstances.
    Take Action: Choose from the list of actions on events on pages 234 and 235 and bless you enemies this week. [These are life-events such as marriage, the birth of a baby, the recovery from an illness, etc on the rejoicing side, and death, illness, troubles at home, etc on the mourning side of Romans 12:15]
    Motivation: Download the audio message How to Overcome the Evil Aimed at You at r12 online [click the r12 button to the right, select the Supernaturally tab and find this message under Free Resources]
    Encourage Someone: Think of someone who has been betrayed or wounded and share r12 with them like [was done with Chip in the book].

    Today continues our “virtual small group” covering the book Living On The Edge. For how this group is going to work, read this entry. For an introduction with disclaimers, click here. For some numbers from Barna to motivate you to continue reading, go here. For the R12 videos, click the R12 button on the sidebar to the right. Finally, as we move forward through the book you can always catch up by clicking the R12 label at the end of each post.