will of God

The End of the Pursuit

Frank

As we conclude Brennan Manning’s book The Furious Longing of God, I’m left thinking and feeling, “well, what does it look like?” Manning gives us plenty of anecdotal examples from a father reconciling with his son, to Don Quixote’s pursuit of Dulcinea; from his own story of redemption to Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree. But as Manning often cites as an obstacle for these experiences, my head gets in the way of my heart.

It is easy to understand Manning’s description of “being in that boat as the storm hits” (pg 130) just as I can read about the disciples’ fear with Jesus napping in the boat– the moment forced them (and us in our storms) to call on Jesus’ name.

But personally have I ever experienced anything like “a certainty of God’s longing for intimacy unlike anything you’ve felt in hand-clapping worship or anointed Scripture studies”? (pg 130) I struggle to identify with that. Even as I reflect upon My Story, I “know” God was reaching out to me through my circumstances, my relationships (and lack thereof), in spite of my choices at the time. I know he was breaking up hard ground in order to receive a seed that could grow.

I remember as I was visiting different colleges for graduate school the strong feeling of I had as I was driving home from one: I have to go here- God wants me here. Little did I understand at the time, at the same time on the other side of the country another young man was questioning God over drinks at a bar, determined to find him on his own terms not his family’s, and as he was resolving this in his heart he looked up and saw a neon sign for Boulder Beer and knew where he was going to go to school.

Had he not made that choice, we would not have been teaching assistants together. We would not have become great friends. And he would not have been there to share the Gospel with me after he found what he was looking for. Had I chosen to go somewhere else, who knows what God would have done in His pursuit of me?

Or I can relate to how my wife and I got married. Often we describe courtship as either chivalrous, showering with gifts and bending over backwards to win our love, or aloof and mysterious, not showing too much emotion, not giving too much away, leaving the other longing for more. I fell in a third category- the clueless. My wife knew even before our first date that I was “the one” and was utterly convinced by the second. I needed a bit more time.

I think of God’s longing not like my clumsy uncertain pursuit of my wife, but rather as her love for me. She knew all along, but she waited for me to recognize it for myself. Isn’t that how it is with God? He chose us before the creation of the world, but he patiently waits for us to come to our own convictions, to fall in love with him on our own.

Maybe he reaches out to each of us differently-some with a booming voice from heaven, others with patient silence- knowing to what exactly we will respond. But there is no doubt in my mind that God pursued me, and continues to do so.

Looking back, how do you see God pursuing you? Would you describe that pursuit as “furious”?

This post concludes our discussion on Brennan Manning’s book, The Furious Longing of God. Please check out Jason Sasyzsen’s and Sarah Salter’s blogs for more discussion.

Does God Care____?

Frank

The cover story (subscription required) for this week’s Sports Illustrated asks “Does God Care Who Wins the Super Bowl?” I don’t expect SI to answer a question with such theological nuance. But many people will be watching this game today wondering whose faith God accepts, Ray Lewis or Colin Kaepernick?

Does God care about the Super Bowl?
God cares that millions of dollars are being spent on advertising to be watched by thousands of parties of people eating enough food to feed a billion starving people.

Does God care about the Super Bowl?
God cares that many churches are using Jesus’ name to lure people into an event, pot-luck, party to watch the ‘Big Game’.

Does God care about the Super Bowl?
God cares about our taste for violence and the drive by players to make the big hit so they can be seen in highlight reels. God cares that these hits cause irreversible damage leading some to suicide. More recently our thirst for the extreme cost a snowmobiler, Caleb Moore, his life.

Does God care about the Super Bowl?
God cares about sincere expressions of faith, no matter how annoying we may find them.

Does God care about the Super Bowl?
God cares about the sincere repentance of the game’s biggest star, Ray Lewis, despite our feelings towards him.

Does God care about the Super Bowl?
God cares that more people have faith in pro athletes than faith leaders.

Does God care about the Super Bowl?
God cares that sports, especially football, has become an idol.

Does God care about the Super Bowl?
God cares that so many people care if he cares.

Does God care about the Super Bowl?
God cares when rivalries turn to violence.

Does God care about the Super Bowl?
God cares that our worship of sports leads to a win-at-all-costs attitude.

Does God care about the Super Bowl?
God cares about every hair on our head.

So yes, I’d say God cares very much about the Super Bowl.

The Director’s Chair

Frank

The lights dimmed. The audience took their seats. The dull roar of people talking quited to a hush. The spotlight turned on, and…

A couple of weeks ago we had our annual Christmas program which included our worship team leading us in Christmas songs, old and new, pre-kindergarten singing We Wish You a Merry Christmas, my 1st & 2nd grade class reciting a poem, and the pre-teen ministry along with the third and fourth-graders did a song and poem of their own. Oh yeah, and many of the above kids doing a play of the Nativity which I directed.

Preparing a bunch of six and seven year-olds to memorize and recite a poem was a challenge in and of itself. Directing our Christmas play on Sunday mornings, when there was no guarantee who would be there and who wouldn’t, without the benefit of our sound system since we were practicing at the same time as worship, was something else all together.

Of course, when it comes to kids and Christmas nobody cares if someone misses a line or forgets to come on stage- it adds to the charm. But as the director, trying to herd cats, it can be nerve wracking. To say I was stressed out would be putting it mildly. I don’t know how many people, led by my wise and encouraging wife, told me I didn’t need to be. It didn’t matter though. Not until the day-of, when the lights came back on, would I be able to take a deep breath.

So that morning we are there early, doing a last-minute sound check. Everything seemed to be coming together. Even my budding poets appeared to be prepared. Then I looked over at our cast and noticed only half of them had changed into their costumes. Uh, oh. It’s always something.

Then my phone rings. It is my wife. Our friends, who had half the costumes with them, were in a car accident on their way to the church building and she was on her way to them. Everything in my mind stopped. We were mere minutes before starting. And there was absolutely nothing I could do. What was more important- this Christmas program, or the health and well being of our good friends? (They were ok, by the way, but there was no way of knowing at the time.) I wanted to cancel, call the whole thing off. But it wasn’t just about me. I had to set aside all of my cares and trust God that everything would work out.

So the spotlight came on and Mary and Gabriel slowly came on stage. Gabriel only missed a couple of lines. Elizabeth missed her cue. And our angels and shepherds caused a traffic jam right in front of the manger. But that was ok. So many told me afterwards how good the performance was and how much they enjoyed it. And once we were in the moment, I could honestly say I enjoyed it too.

I can’t control everything. In fact, there’s not much I can control. And although this is the second year I’ve directed this play, I don’t really know what I’m doing. But God is in control and does know what he’s doing. I may get credit for being “director” but God is really the one who directs the performance.

“The mind of a man plans his way,
But the LORD directs his steps.”
(Proverbs 16:9)

Jesus Wept

Frank

Where is God when…? Why does God allow…?

The hard questions. Stumbling blocks for many to believe in a benevolent creator, awkward for believers whose faith intentionally ignore the question. The easy answer is to simply say, I don’t know. Truth is, only God knows what and why. But it is foolishness to think we are the first to ask these questions.

Jesus was confronted with these questions while he was still walking the earth. In John 11, we read of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. Most of us easily remember how the story ends, but we forget the suffering that came before. When Jesus was told Lazarus was sick, he waited two days to do anything about it. Ever have a prayer go unanswered? Mary and Martha, friends of Jesus, must have felt like many of us do: maybe Jesus didn’t get the message; maybe Jesus doesn’t care as much as we thought; maybe Jesus is just too busy.

So when Jesus finally does arrive, Lazarus had been dead for four days. How do you think Mary and Martha felt? I can imagine them approaching Jesus and through their exhaustion and tears lashing out at him in despair. The Bible sensitizes the scene with both women stating, at different times, “if only you were here…” as a passive-aggressive rejection of the Lord’s timing.

When we ask the hard questions, we often think God doesn’t understand. But he does, because he went through it himself. While standing before friends and onlookers, hearing the weeping and wailing, Jesus was overcome with emotion. Most Bible translations say Jesus was “moved” but the word in verse 33 describes anger or the snorting of a horse. Jesus was more than moved. As Shelia Walsh puts it in God Loves Broken People, “This was the Son of God raging at the pain that Mary and Martha, that [friends and family], that you and I have faced or are facing right now.”

So how did Jesus respond? With the shortest verse in the Bible. He wept.

Yes, this was a lesson about the resurrection of the dead. Yes, it affirmed Jesus’ authority even over death. But it is something more as well. Jesus is showing us that on the other side of all the suffering, after all the questions, there is life.

Kingdom Dreams

Frank

One of my good friends was just hired on to the full-time ministry staff of my congregation. This has been a long-time dream of his, going back to his days leading a campus ministry almost twenty years ago.

Twenty years. That’s a long time to hold on to a dream. But when I made the decision to follow Christ, I did so with the dream of shaping my character and my lifestyle to be like Jesus, knowing full well that I would never achieve this dream this side of heaven. But that does not mean this is a dream to put off or take for granted.

One of the first books I read as a baby Christian was The Measure of a Man by Gene Getz. Its premise was straightforward: Paul gave a list of qualifications for elders, deacons and overseers in 1 Timothy and Titus and since there is no separation between clergy and laity when it comes to aspiring to live Christ-like lives, it follows that everyone should emulate the character traits of ministry leadership regardless of our “position” within our church. An elder, pastor, bishop, or deacon are no different than you or I; we all aspire to live as Christ. After all, the word “christian” means “little Christ”, hence to be Christ-like, and “disciple” means “student” or “pupil” in the context of disciples in the days of Jesus giving up everything to follow a particular rabbi. And those labels are true for everyone who declares Jesus as Lord.

So by that same token, shouldn’t we all also have aspiration to ministry? Even if we are never in a paid or formally defined ministry position, should we not approach our lives, our jobs, our families as our own personal ministries? And if so, then shouldn’t we strive to live, pray, and study like a minister?

Matthew 6:33 instructs to “seek first the kingdom…” This scripture can be used for everything from justifying mandatory meetings of the body to vaguely desiring to accomplish the will of God. But what if it meant to seek first doing ministry? Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 3 that, “…our work will be shown for what it is…” In context, Paul is talking about our personal responsibility and what we choose to do (build on) with the Gospel (the foundation) we have received.

I always find myself going back to Ephesians 4 where it reads, “…as each part does its work.” The idea of “church” as we apply it today was foreign to the first century disciples. The division between ministers and congregants did not exist like it does today. Yes, there were leaders and specific instructions were given to them. But all disciples of Christ had the same responsibility to obey the commands of Jesus; to use the unique gifts God has given to build up the church.

So would it be crazy to desire to “go into” ministry? Is it strange that I think about church planting, the missional movement, and building effective discipleship communities? Am I weird to daydream about visiting some impoverished Third World community to do missions work? Or should I be “normal” and settle for just showing up on Sundays, knowing full well that it is unlikely I will ever do any of the above?

Yet don’t I do all the above in my own personal ministry? Do I not plant the church in people’s hearts when I share my faith? Aren’t I being missional as I seek new ways to serve in my community? Am I not building community when I open up my home to dig deeper into the Word? Isn’t my neighborhood, made up of multiple ethnic groups and varying degrees of affluence my own personal mission field?

So in the context of right where I am, I am a church planter, missional community builder, serving diligently on the mission field. If that’s the case, when do I get paid?

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” (Colossians 3:23-24)

Cog in the Machine

Frank

When asked what he does for a living, a coworker of mine usually replies, “I’m part of the bureaucracy.” A few years ago Monster had an advertisement where kids described what they wanted to be when they grow up. “I want to claw my way up to middle management” was one reply, followed by “I want to be a yes-man,” “yes-woman,” “yes, sir!”

Maybe you’re stuck in a rut at your job and you feel just like this. Part of the bureaucracy, a cog in the machine. I doubt many of us aspired to this and we wouldn’t describe our dream job this way. And so we come home exhausted, defeated, or burned out. We long for the weekends when we can literally take a break from the world and rest before we have to get in the car and go do it again.

Doesn’t sound ideal, does it? Have you ever looked at church the same way? Is it a drudgery to participate as you take repeated glances at your watch to see if anything has changed? This description might not be your first thought, but I bet you can relate. Just like if you’re stuck in a rut work, if you’re stuck at church maybe it’s because you’re not doing what you want to. Or better yet, what you’re meant to.

Isn’t that how it goes? You go blind staring at your computer screen at work knowing you were meant for more than this. Isn’t that what piles on to this feeling of frustration? Church is no different; as we fight off falling asleep during a sermon we think there must be more than this.

Paul wrote to the Ephesians, “It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers [leadership roles], to prepare God’s people for works of service [service roles], so that the body of Christ may be built up…as each part does its work.” (Ephesians 4:11-12, 16) American church (TM) culture has convinced us that it is the few in front of the church, up on the pulpit, who are responsible for everything while the rest of us sit back and drop a couple of bucks in the tray to pay them. But the Biblical model of the church is not like this.

“As each part does it’s work.” Just like your job, well just like anything really, if you feel valued and are participating as part of something bigger you are more likely to derive satisfaction from your work. So we all have roles and it is just a matter of identifying what those roles are. Paul gives us samples here in Ephesians, but also in Romans 12 and twice in 1 Corinthians 12.

Of course, frustration also comes when we mis-identify our roles. At our jobs, we might think we’d be just right for that promotion but when we finally rise up, it proves to be too much for us. There’s this concept called the “Peter Principle” where one can only rise to the level of their own incompetence. What that means is that theoretically, you keep getting promoted until you can no longer do your job (and your weaknesses are exposed) at which point you’re stuck.

Other times it may not be the rise in position that we lust after, but a different position all together. Yet it might just be right where you’re at is where you’re supposed to be. This too can be frustrating. And it is no different at church. While there isn’t really any means of promotion, we can all feel like we should be doing something else.

For me, personally, I’ve been frustrated at church because I have mis-identified my role. I’ve called myself “teacher” and on this blog “writer”. I’ve considered that maybe I’m a “prophet” in the context of being inspired by the Holy Spirit to give a message in a specific context. But so long as I’ve been a disciple of Jesus people have told me, “you have the gift of administration!” and for the last twelve years I’ve been resisting that fact.

Back to work, the coworker I mentioned earlier and I have spent the last 4-5 weeks pushing paper, writing page after page, reviewing every word to make sure every i was dotted and t crossed. And as tedious as that has been, I’ve been good at it. Recently, I put together and hosted a meeting that was very involved and took up most of my time. I complained about how busy I was, but deep inside I could not deny that I actually liked it.

I’ve been on my church’s board of directors for the last six years. Some meetings go better than others, but when I am honest with myself I see that this is what I am good at. I am good at organization (which is ironic since I am so unorganized): putting people where they need to be to be most successful (at work) and bring the most glory to God (at church). I prefer to work behind the scenes and while I crave the spotlight for the sake of my own ego, I am not comfortable there. I’m an “idea guy” and spend a lot of time thinking about how-tos. This is who I am and I need to embrace that.

After this last big meeting we had a board meeting. And all this hit me. My gift is administration. I paused and prayed about it, thanking God for making me just like he did. And I felt a peace enter into me that has been missing for some time. I realized that much of my stress and frustration came from trying to be someone I am not. Peace came from thanking God for who I am. I am a cog in God’s great machine. And I am ok with that.

So what are you gifts? What do you aspire to?

Eyes and Ears

Frank

I don’t have a lot to say about this week’s reading from Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis and Beth Clark. I encourage you to check out my friends’ posts over at Connecting to Impact.

When watching over a little girl dying from malaria, Katie wrestles with the poverty and disease right before her while remembering the luxury and comfort she left behind in the United States. Katie writes, “My heart began to break over and over for the other children around the world who had no one to protect them, no one to speak up for them, no one to sit up with them at night and control their fevers. Who would hold them? Who would sing to them?” (pg 70)

Dare I be so bold to say that Katie is wrong? God makes it clear in His Word that He is the ultimate advocate for the poor, the hopeless, and the forgotten. And as Katie herself admits in this chapter, it was He who put her right in that place for His purpose.

When I read this chapter, my mind went right to the story of Hagar from Genesis. Long story short, God promised a child to Abraham and Sarah but didn’t say when. Impatient, Abraham lays with his servant, Hagar and she bears him a son, Ishmael. Fearing for her life she flees. We pick up the story in verse 7 from Genesis 16:

The angel of the LORD found Hagar near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur. And he said, “Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?”

“I’m running away from my mistress Sarai,” she answered.

Then the angel of the LORD told her, “Go back to your mistress and submit to her.” The angel added, “I will so increase your descendants that they will be too numerous to count.”

The angel of the LORD also said to her:

“You are now with child
and you will have a son.
You shall name him Ishmael,
for the LORD has heard of your misery.
He will be a wild donkey of a man;
his hand will be against everyone
and everyone’s hand against him,
and he will live in hostility
toward all his brothers.”

She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” That is why the well was called Beer Lahai Roi; it is still there, between Kadesh and Bered.

So Hagar bore Abram a son, and Abram gave the name Ishmael to the son she had borne. (Genesis 16:7-15)

Two important Hebrew words in this story. One, the name of Hagar’s newborn son, Ishmael means “God hears” and El Roi, for whom she named the well after, means “The God who sees”. Hagar was all alone and afraid. She was rejected, who would advocate for her? The God who sees, that’s who. Later when she goes her own way, leaving Abraham and Sarah, she wanders the desert expecting to starve and die. Again, the God who hears intervenes.

No need on this earth is unknown to the Lord of Hosts. And we are put exactly where we are for His specific purpose. Pray and ask the God who sees and He who hears, to open your eyes and ears to the needs around you that you, and you alone, can meet.

This blog is part of a book club reading Kisses from Katie. Jason Stasyszen and Sarah Salter are leading the discussion. Head over to their blogs for more.

You Can’t Turn a Parked Car

Frank

Chapter 4 of Katie Davis’ personal memoir, Kisses from Katie, sees Katie beginning to see the plan God has for her unfolding before her. She went to serve short term, teach in a kindergarten, share a little Jesus along the way. But soon she finds herself buying a large house (by Ugandan standards, not our own) from which to run her still undefined non-profit.

Katie describes this experience simply by saying, “I have learned that something happens when one makes herself available to God. He starts moving in ways no one could imagine.” (pg 43)

A friend has a saying, you can’t turn a parked car. In other words, God can’t move you if you’re standing still. Proverbs 16:9 reads, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.” This assumes you’re already walking.

Books like Crazy Love, Radical, Hole in Your Gospel, and now Kisses from Katie challenge my status quo. My heart is moved to do something. But I need to get up and start moving. Of course, it doesn’t have to mean moving to Uganda like Katie. It might not mean moving at all. Sometimes it means saying yes to opportunity. But it might also mean saying no. It’s up to God to determine the steps.

Not long ago, I thought I knew where I was stepping, but God changed my course. Now I don’t know where I’m going, but I see God working around me. It doesn’t make sense. It’s not what I would plan. And I have absolutely no idea where I’m going.

Katie Davis first went to Uganda in 2007. This book took four years to write. I imagine it took that long to be able to look back and see what God had done and to appreciate what he was doing. I figure in my own life I will look back and see this “season” in my life completely differently than I see it now. Maybe. I don’t know. But what I do know, God is directing the steps and my car is moving.

This blog is part of a book club reading Kisses from Katie. Jason Stasyszen and Sarah Salter are leading the discussion. Head over to their blogs for more.

DQed

Frank

Once upon a time I was pretty fast. I was part of a championship-caliber relay team and could hold my own in the individual races as well. Before you become too impressed by my athleticism, know that this was in high school. One of the things, besides raw speed, that set our relay team apart was our almost scientific approach to handoffs. You see, in high school most handoffs between runners happen as the next runner is almost standing still. In the cases where the teams practice their timing so that the next runner can just take off, most runners still look over their shoulders slowing them down.

But we had our timing down… mostly. I ran the third leg of our 4×100 team. I would watch for the second runner to hit a mark and I’d take off full speed. After three steps I’d blindly put my hand back and the second runner would be right there to pass off the baton. I would then be responsible for playing catch-up to the fourth runner, AKA the anchor leg as he would take off and extend his hand back towards mine.

My sophomore year our team consisted of myself, two juniors and a senior. We won more often than we lost and we frequently flirted with the school record. So we all knew if we wanted the record and win state, it had to be that year. In fact we did beat the record. More than once. But those never counted because we were often disqualified.

The reason so many runners at that level wait for the handoff or look backwards to make sure they cleanly exchange the baton is because there is a short length of track in which the handoff must take place. If it doesn’t, you’re DQ’ed. And it’s not that easy when you’re running roughly 20 miles per hour. You also have to stay in your lane. Two consecutive steps on or over the line would also result in a disqualification. And when two of the four legs of the relay happened on curves, this happened more often than not.

If you were DQ’ed, you wouldn’t know until the race was over. So you could run at a breakneck pace through the finish (or handoff), raise your arms in victory, and find out later that none of it counted.

Ultimately, we didnt win state (we took second) and we never did beat the record.

Chapter seven of Kyle Idleman’s book, Not a Fan, “the relationship defined” calls our attention to Matthew 7:13-14 which warns,

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”

Back to my earlier illustration, narrow is the lane on the racetrack, and short is the exchange so many are disqualified. Worse, they don’t know until the race is over.

There is no worse feeling than completing a race to only find out later it didn’t count. In the spiritual race of which Paul frequently alludes, disqualification has eternal consequence.

Kyle Idleman suggests we slow down and make sure we are in the right lane. Good advice, but how do we know for sure? Kyle emphasizes our genuine relationship wit Jesus, fast-forwarding to verse 23 where Jesus says what we all hope to never hear, “away from me evil doer, I never knew you.” But he skips over the fine print in verse 21, “Not everyone will… enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of My Father in heaven.“

It is tempting to turn our spiritual walk into running as fast as we can. We need to slow down. Check our lane and ask the honest, hard question, “am I doing God’s will?” If not, it doesn’t matter how fast we run or in what place we finish. Once we cross the finish line we will find out we were disqualified. And then, it will be too late.

This post continues my series blogging through the book, Not A Fan by Kyle Idleman. I encourage you to follow along by clicking on the Not A Fan label to the right. And I urge you to pick up a copy of this book for yourself.

Resolutions: Career

Frank

After taking a break for the holidays I’m back with a series of posts on resolutions to start the new year. Please feel free to comment and share your own resolutions for 2012. Next week, I’ll get back on the saddle for my study of the book Not a Fan.

I never thought I’d be that guy. You know, the cliche of working 80 hours a week to get ahead, sacrificing family, recreation, and everything else for the almighty dollar. It’s never been about the paycheck or status for me. Yet…

I look back over my short career and I recall the call I took while in the recovery room after my daughter was born. I remember taking a call while on vacation at Disneyland. I’ve gone in to work Easter weekend, traveled on Thanksgiving, held meetings the Friday before Christmas. I often think more highly of myself than I ought. I’ve tried to create job opportunities yet have turned down actual opportunities.

On that last one, it’s weird for me to think back a year ago that I actually was expecting to move and take a new job. All my “fleeces” seemed to check out. Then I interviewed. “This is not a 9-5 job,” I was told. “You stay until the work is done. You will travel a lot. And it might not be the best thing for you with a young family.” Gut punch. Could it be what I thought was a golden opportunity actually wasn’t? So I turned it down. And the year since at work has been one challenge after another, filled with uncertainties, additional demands, and stress. A lot of stress.

But I learned something. I learned that I really have no control over my career. I strongly believe that God brought me to this job. So He’s the one really in control. And the sooner I accept that, the sooner I can let go of that stress, not face the uncertainties with fear, and respond to demands with diligence and joy.

So one of my resolutions this year is to not get ahead in my career, but instead to get behind. To get behind God. Let Him lead. I work for Him after all.

“So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because that is his lot. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?” (Ecclesiastes 3:22)

“Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free.” (Ephesians 6:7-8)